The Hitchhikers Guide to Lillian

Bizarro Day!

2011-04-12T19:42:00.001-07:00

Today's Language Arts Assignment for the girls was to write a creative story entitled: I Knew It was Going to be an Unusual Day When: I now present my kids brains... Ellie First: The Land of the Spotted Elephants: I knew it was going to be an unusual day when I woke up one morning with a large spotted elephant sitting on my bed. He looked at me and kissed me on the face with his giant trunk, then ate striped peanuts, which were lying at me feet next to my Littlest Pet Shop monkey. Then the sky turned purple and everyone, including the spotted elephant began dancing an irish jig and singing songs about corned beef. It turned out we were in the land of the Irish spotted elephant and my bed had taken me there. We ate cake. The End Now for Roo: I knew it was going to be an ununsual day when I I got out of bed and went into the dining room and found that the fish in my fishtank were wearing top hats, tuxedoes, and had canes. Then, to my great surprise they jumped out of the tank and began tap dancing. They were wearing tiny shoes. Then my house turned into a giant cake, and some giant ants came and ate the whole thing.. All of my toys were eaten and so was my bed. I found out by speaking with the queen that they were normal sized ants and that I was the one who was tiny. The sun set on my weird day and I found my bed actualy floating in a swimming pool of pixie dust. I tried to swim to my bed but began to fly instead. The pixie dust worked! When it ran out I floated on my bed in the pixie dust and went to sleep. Fin! Sometimes their level of full on awesomeness is pretty darn cool. hugs and kisses blogosphere. "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened"-- Douglas Adams

A quick word of thanks!

2011-03-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say thank you to so many nameless friends who have emerged out of the woodwork during this time in my life. The phone calls and emails are greatly appreciated, along with the prayers. I love each and every one of you. Thanks for listening and not passing judgement or giving me unscolicited advice. But answering my questions and offering me your unconditional love and support. I am blessed beyond words to have so many amazing friends and the 3 best BFF's any girl could EVER EVER have... Wade, Lauren, Jennifer I love you more than I can ever express..... so many are lost and have not even 1 they can count on... I have 3. Amazing!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! Keep the prayers coming... Love, Lil (shout outs to Steve Raymond here too!!!! next time I drink a bottle of wine you will be the one I call... I luff you!!! )

Yay ME!!!!!

2011-03-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

So my new supervisor at the USO introduced herself to me and when she realized I'm "Lillian" she was like "oh!!!! I have something for you!"

This is what she had.

2 pieces of hotel stationary with this on it:

6Mar 2011- GREAT job by USO vol. (6-10 shift):
being steady with customers and at times, inundated, she unhesitantly produced information on Honolulu flights (civilian) For RETIREES! A cheerful personality- she effortlessly- flawlessly greeted and feted all customers. As a previous volunteer, she is a definite asset to this or any other organization, even if she is transferred with the USO family. Contact me at XXX-XXX-XXXX (insert email address here) if further information or confirmation is needed on this matter
Sincerely
Boston Bob
USAF Ret
Vietnam Vet
Ordained Minister

USO Volunteer's name is Lillian

YAY ME!
Lil
I love my sundays at the USO!

"The Hare"

2011-03-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, a hare, an otter, a jackal, and a monkey lived together in a deep wood near a village. Through the deep wood wound a long, dark path. Many travelers walked along the path, traveling to the village on the forest's other side.
One night the hare, the otter, the jackal, and the monkey sat together around their evening meal. "Tomorrow is a special day in the village on the other side of the forest," the hare said. "We should be ready to give food to anyone who is traveling to the village. Let's be generous and give our best to any traveler who asks."
The otter, jackal, and the monkey agreed. The next morning, the otter went out to the river nearby to hunt for food. Now, that same morning a fisherman had caught seven red fish and buried them in the damp sand to keep them fresh. Then he had gone off downstream to fish some more. The otter smelled the fish and dug them up. "Whose are these?" he asked, looking around. "I don't see anyone to claim them. I'll take them home and eat them myself."
The jackal went out to the edge of the village on the other side of the forest and sniffed around a poor man's hut. In the poor man's kitchen, he found two pieces of meat and a jar of milk. "Well, I don't see anyone in this hut!" he said. "So I'll just take these home and eat them myself."
The monkey climbed up a forest tree and picked mangoes for himself. He scurried back down the tree and hid the mangoes in his own bed. "Later," he said, "I'll eat these myself."
The Hare went out into the field and started to pick grass. Grass was his favorite food. But then he stopped and thought, "A traveler will not want to eat grass! What else can I feed a hungry man who asks for food? I have nothing else! If someone begs me for a meal, I will offer myself for his diner."
From up above, the god Sakka heard the hare's promise. "Can this be true?" he said to himself. "Will this hare reallybe so generous and unselfish as to give his own life? I will go down to earth and see."
So Sakka disguised himself as a priest and went down to the earth. He walked along the forest path. soon he saw he monkey. "Monkey," he cried, "I am so hungry! Will you give me food?"
"I could share a mango or two," the monkey offered.
"Thank you," said Sakka. "I'll come back for it tomorrow."
Next he saw the jackal. "Jackal," he cried, "I am so hungry! Will you give me food?"
"Well," the jackal said, "you can have one of my pieces of meat, and drink of my milk."
"Thank you," said Sakka, "I'll come back for it tomorrow."
A little further along the way, he saw the otter. "Otter, otter," he cried, I am so hungry! Will you give me food?"
"You can have two or three of my fish," the otter suggested.
"Thank you," said Sakka. "I'll come back for it tomorrow.
Finally, Sakka met the hare. "Hare," he said, "I am so hungry! Will you give me food?"
"All I have is myself," said the hare, "but you are welcome to eat me."
"But I am a follower of the Buddah!" Sakka objected. "I cannot kill an animal for food!"
"Then light a fire," the hare said, "and I will jump into it myself. Then I will be roasted for you to eat- and you won't have to kill me."
So Sakka built a fire. The hare shook himself, crouched down, and jumped into the flames. But although the fire licked at his fur, he felt no heat.
"Why isn't this fire hot?" the hare asked. "It won't roast me so that you can eat!"
"Because I am no priest," Sakka said, "I am the god Sakka, come down to the earth to see whether you would be as generous as you promised. Now, good and generous hare, live happily the rest of your life with my blessing." And he made the hare a nest of soft grass, and returned to his place in the sky. The hare lived happily ever after, and when he died, he was rewarded for his kindness.
- Buddah

"Beep Beep! Beep Beep! Yeah!"

2011-03-09T11:34:00.000-08:00

Cars..

I love Cars..

I love cute cars...

I love fast Cars...

Apparently I take after the Hurley's ( by way of the Spencers) on this one.

My dad told me a story while we were in Balitomre... He was laughing at me because there I was in October when the weather was cold or wet or at the very least held the chance for cold and wet.. and I flirted with the guy at the Alamo rent a car and got me a Chrysler Seabring Convertible for the price of a compact car..

He laughed his booming laugh and said... "I thought the only thing you got from Thelma (my grandmother) was your curves and legs... but here you are with rings in your ears and on your fingers driving a convertible in October around ole B'more..."

I looked at him in confusion... He said. "Well back when I was a kid... (you know how your grandparents each had their own money) Well, Mom had always admired a good Chrysler Convertible... and anyway, one day she rolled home with a 1963 Plymoth Valliant. And from that day on, unless it was raining or snowing.. didn't matter if it was 30 degrees outside.. the top was down. We would roll around town doing our errands with the heat at full blast with the top DOWN.

And then as soon as she paid it off she went and got herself a Yellow 67 Firebird Sprint, 6 cylinder, 4 speed, mag wheels and red line tires... My mom had the best Cars.... She never went without a convertible top. Hey! Lets put the top down and drive out to Loch Raven.. That's where I took your mother on our first date!"

So that's just what we did. Top down 47 degrees, heat blasted, driving through the woods to the Loch my grandfather helped to build, in the style my grandmother would have preffered (top down), to the place where my father fell in love with my mother, with the smell of the woods filling our noses. The road wound up, down and around and we flew!!! That Seabring can seriously move!! We played Oldies music and just went through the country til we found the Loch. One of the best memories I will ever have was that drive with my dad. (ok... taking a minute.. hard to type with misty eyes)..

I, like Thelma, (who I think I would have gotten along famously with, she seemd like a really rockin chick! Too bad I never knew her) will probably never again go without a convertible top. I love the sunshine on my arms and the wind messing up my hair.

My Boop Mobile is my favorite toy ever... Ok Except for the Shelby... And it suits me just fine. I love to drive. This island kills me because you never get anywhere. Just run into the ocean and turn around. I love going... just anywhere.. radio at full blast... just.... going.

Now Me I've had a couple of sweet rides along the way... Most of you who have known me forever know about the Ghia.... The Ghia had moves... it was like driving a go kart..... Hell it sounded like one..

My 1974 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia was my first car. And I loved Taz with all I had... It was my dad's mid-life crisis car. It was gun metal grey and barely ran... He wanted to sell it when I was 14... I cried big fat tears, and told him... KEEP IT!!! Let me buy it from you... So for 2 years I saved everything I made, and bought the Ghia from my dad on my 16th birthday for $700... I kept $200 because he (it was definitely a boy car) needed paint desperately.. Lillian wasn't doing grey... no effing way! He was modified. New Seats, little racing steering wheel and a stereo were installed. He was mine and aside from his color he was perfect! So I digress.. I bought the car on January 29th 1995.

He gave me the keys and I took it for a drive 1 mile from the house to the gas station, (side note: I had learned to drive a stick but nobody warned me that the Ghia had no power steering) where I smacked the headlight directly into the little protective poles that keep you from hitting the gas pumps... Happy Sweet 16!!!!

Anyway..... so we replaced the front end and I got my paint job... And the Tazmanian Devil took me everywhere... My favorite Ghia Story involves myslef, Rickman, Lauren, and a surf board.

Last day of school my Sophopnore year. I got pulled over twice, and drove through a forest fire, just to get to the beach and catch the great surf at playalinda. That was a great day!

After I killed the Ghia...( He was an old man and I drove him like he was in better shape than he was and I kinda wore his old ass out)I went thrugh a period of mourning and decided to sell him. While I was waiting for it to sell, I drove my grandfathers 76 Malibu... hooptie!!! Represent!!! That thing was a beast... I think I could have gone like full tank mode and driven over small villagers and their thatch roofed cottages and never felt a thing... I loved driving the beast... but it wasn't really suited for me, I was too small and hit a lit of stuff... like small furry woodland creatures and my brother's Sentra that was parked behind me on the road behind the driveway. (his fault though... seriously! Who parks directly behind a driveway??!!!) When I got the $2000 I wanted for the Ghia I went to Snyders used cars and negotiated my first real auto purchase. Made arrangements for the $700 I couldn't pay and got a job. Every month I walked into Snyders and handed the sales man $100 cash for 7 months, just to pay off my 1990 Honda CRX...

Anyway.. after I "grew up" I ended up driving a 1995 GMC Sonoma (hated it) a 1992 Nissan Sentra (eh) a Ford Escape (served it's purpose) a Kia Optima... ok I did love that Car!! It was an LX model and FULLY FREAKING LOADED!!!! For a while I drove a mini van (yeah I actually did contemplate suicide when we bought that ;) ) and then when I found out we were moving here I was like EF that!!! I want a Hawaii Car!!! So I went waaaaayyyyy upside down trading in the Van for the Boop Mobile.... I still owe more that she's worth... I don't care! She is mine and she has forever changed how I want my cars.... cute and convertible.

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." ~Albert Einstein

It's like she's trying to talk to me. I know it!

2011-03-05T00:14:00.000-08:00

What in the world is wrong with me? Well I'll tell you... I have no manual dexterity. I tried to learn how to play the piano as a child... I could pick out a tune at an early age without sheet music. I remember how my mom was astounded that at age 6, I picked out "Lullabye of Broadway" on a piano at the church... I was bored... so I sat there and figured it out, and in a really rough way I could play it. My Abuela had an amazing talent for the piano, and they really believed it had rubbed off on me. Naturally, my grandmother bought me a Baldwin Spinnet and I took lessons and learned (kinda) how to read music. I had excellent rythm but my sight reading was a bit off. Eventually, once the left hand needed to do things that didn't just involve basic chords.. (quick thing here; my limited talent and ability to play chorded music on the piano is at least right now a help as Ellie who sometimes needs me to play it for her so she can get a feel for it.) Ok back to the story... in other words the left hand had to work independently... my "natural" ablilty was proven to be a fluke...Anyway I gave up the piano after years of trying. I can still pick out tunes by ear but the last time I tried was years ago...

At age 11, I guess because I was a girl, and wanted to learn a "girly instrument" I picked up the flute and learned how to play it pretty well... in a junior high skill level kind of way. I was second chair behind Joel Bennet who was a musical genuis... But once the music got complicated (Ie: High school level stuff that went all over the place and have you ever really looked at a flute? All those pads? And you need to do all kinds of things to produce all the right notes) left and right had to really start working together, and I had never actualy taken a lesson, I had taught myself, well it just got tough, and I basically sucked.

My sophomore year I decided I should just learn to play percussion instruments; A: because the drummers were "so cool" and B: because my BFF played percussion and C: rythm did seem to come naturally... So, it turns out I probably should have done that the whole time. I could sight read rythms fine and it doesn't actually reqire independent finger movement... I got a late start but taught myself how to play all of those Xylophone type instruments, tympani, I played the Bass drum in the marching band for a while, I loved playing the chimes and maybe if I had really wanted to, and taken lessons, maybe I could have learned on a set...Maybe not.. Hell, I wish I had a steel drum... no kidding; I would teach myself some Buffett Songs, put my hair in dreads, stand on Kalakaua Ave, and play next to the metal man and make a few bucks in the evenings... Anyway I had found my niche... well that and singing... I always had singing... But anyway the point is... I should have played the drums from the age of 8 as opposed to 15... I might have actualy been really really good at it. I don't even have the dexterity to do anything aside from strumming on my ukulele. And if it's outside the Key of C; I'm basically screwed. I have a very limited song book. LOL... That reminds me.. I need to get that thing down and practice the 10 songs I have figured out. It's been a while.

So where am I going with this... I'm going here...

In my Elementary school, we had computer class.We learned very basic principles like RAM and ROM and Floppy disks and TYPING. The focus was on typing. Now, the teacher, Mrs. Roberts, was awesome... and Lord knows I was probably a pain in her butt... I was always in trouble... I couldn't shut up...I wish my mom had considered meds for me... I might have been a little more normal as a kid.. Anyway I digress... I loved computer class because if we finished the real work we could play Reader Rabbit or Oregon Trail... Video games in school..... SCORE!!!! But she and I would butt heads.. I wonder if she remembers how I was constantly unable to type without looking at the keyboard,or use proper fingering? Then she would stick that evil cardbaord hand hider thingy over my keyboard, and I would stare daggers at her. :( Of course, I wouldn't get the work done and no Reader Rabbit for me.... But you see Mrs Roberts? I have no manual dexterity. I am typing this whole thing with like only the index and middle fingers of my left hand and the index middle ring and thumb of the right. Oh! you must be so ashamed... I promise you were one of my favorite teachers.. you didn't fail me... it's lousy genetics or some crap like that. And where am I going with this?

Today I typed that I raped a cat... I meant to say "I trapped a cat" but I typed "raped"...

So I have been informed that I have not written a blog that is full of wayyy too much TMI and people are chomping at the bit..

2011-02-28T14:31:00.000-08:00

So with that in mind obvioulsy I will throw out my usual disclaimer... *This blog contains information that you may not want to know about. Oh and this blog is about vaginas.... if any of this is not for you... Close this now!!!

Ok so every female reading this and every male who had been in a long term relationship with a woman, oh and I don't want to leave out men who are now women...( I think they count too) knows that sometimes us girls get issues downstairs. It could be the dreaded yeast infection (dun dun duuuun) or something bacterial, or sometimes it's something as simple as soap or a new detergent causing an imbalance in her PH... These are all normal things and yes umpleasant and gross and I'm not going into sypmtomatic detail. If you wanna learn about that stuff google it... that is not the point of this story.

Well I switched soaps and my Ph went ,I dont know where, but it wasn't good... and my life was unpleasant. So I saw the doc and he gave me this cream Called Nystatin- Triamicinolone Acetonide... I just referred to it as Nysatin. It's great stuff. Balanced me out and life was improved immensely. Well about a week and a half ago I had a minor surgery and I was all jacked up afterward, and grabbed the wrong soap to ummm shower off with... should've just thrown it away, but I didn't want to waste it and I could use it every where else so I was still using it for my upstairs... just not my downstairs. But I wasn't thinking I was high and I washed the wrong spots with the wromg soap, and the misery ensued once again. I hollered to Mike "Hey go get me the Nystatin for my hoo haw. It's in a Red and white metal tube." Now mind you I am on Percocet and Valium and still a little anestesia... he hands me the red and white tube and it seems different than I remember, but I used it.. and I think my hoo haw literally burst into flames.... I had a very bad 10 minutes or so... and I think at one point I was pretty sure I just wanted to die..that wasn't right... So I washed off and suffered through the night, figuring I would have to call the Doc in the morning and figure out what the hell was wrong with me now.. Well, when I woke up the next morning, I looked at the tube again...

This tube indeed contained Nystatin.. but it also contained, neomycin sulfate which I am VERY VERY allergic too, and in big print instead of the words NYSTATIN were the words ANIMAX...

Mike brought me Bean's Mange cream...

I had put mange cream on my hoo haw.

FML.

Well hopefully my readers are now satisfied with this story of humiliation and genitalia. I aim to please.

"People go through their lives without stopping to notice the little details."-- Beth Jean

I am just going to over simplify this whole Egypt thing

2011-02-10T13:47:00.000-08:00

If I were Egyption President Hosni Mubarak:

Ok so... most of the time I am all like.. I am what I am... if you don't like me well I don't need to bother working to get you to like me... just piss off and I will find people who do like me the way I am... But if a whole country hated my guts and wanted me to go away, and all that... then obviously I am the asshole and I need to just go the fuck away. ...

Although I am loving the price of Oil today...

Just sayin..

Truth is I don't know the right thing to do. The protests are, from what I can ascertain, being feuled by a bunch of folks who we don't want in power... But on the other hand this has to end at some point.. before it gets extremely violent.

But these protesters, what do they want... who do they want in charge?

This whole thing is scary.

Like I said waaayyyy over simplified.

but there is it.

Lil

Screw you stupid blog project! I drop the f bomb you've been warned

2011-01-30T21:32:00.000-08:00

A photo of yourself that very day. And list your 3 favorite blogs from this project...

Good thing I took pictures of myself today or y'all would be outta luck. Up there is me ya'll.. and Mike in an epic photo bomb. Thanks Babe!

Anyway my 3 favorite blogs easy peasy..

I liked doing the one about my best friends... looking back I could have said so much more.. added things, details, that kind of stuff but all in all I enjoyed singing the praises of Wade, Jennifer and Lauren.

The Fuck you blog... Loved doing that!!! It was my favorite favorite favorite of the entire project. If you haven't read it, it's "Unlucky number 13" Worth reading. I am rather proud of it. Oh and if the subject of number 13 ever reads this one too??? .... I hate you and fuck you! fuck fuck fuuuuccckkk you!!!!! :P ( I really really really fucking hate you)

And Finally the letter to my parents. I thought I would hate doing it. But for the most part it was rather cathatric and I got a lot of really great feedback from it. Apparently I made someone cry. While not my intention I am struck that my words had any power at all. So in a way it was a testament to my skillz I guess... But I was sad that a reader cried. But I really did actually enjoy that blog.

A little additional unscolicited writing... yeah I know I skipped 29.. but it was my birthday.. I was laying around fat and happy watching China Beach and staring at my fabulous gold watch. Also I have learned that the people who do read this blog actually think my writing is worth a damn. Myabe because I don't hide here. Or because I am funny or maybe it's entertaining. Who knows...But apparently I am doing something right. I think I will do this project again and pick new subjects next time...For now it's back to blogging when the mood strikes me.Until then, to all of my readers for the last 30 days... Hey Hey Goodbye!!!

Why!!!!!!!?????!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?

2011-01-28T18:44:00.000-08:00

Day28- Your favorite movie.

I love a lot of movies.
50 First Dates and Shaun of the Dead, Pretty much anything Adam Sandler is in...most of the stuff Jim Carrey's in. Schindler's List and Steel Magnolias and Terms of Endearment and The Notebook
Oh for pete sake... I like a LOT of movies. Sleeping Beauty..Beauty and the Beast
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy gets the nod for best weird movie I like followed by Scott Pilgrim vs the World.
Musicals: Evita and Moulin Rouge, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Tommy and (even though it's poorly edited) Phantom of the Opera
Trilogies: Indiana Jones and Star Wars (Pre CGI)
and there's Love Actually...I really like that one...
Superheroes... I love Superman (except the 4th one) The first 2 Spidermans, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight

Oh!Oh!! I like just about everything Kevin Smith has done. I like everything I have seen Seth Rogan in. and I like Quentin Terrintino movies.

I do NOT like the Twilight movies. I didn't like The life Aquatic with Steve Zizzou

oh! That reminds me I loved Ghost Busters!

Oh forget this. I quit this one...
Too much love for movies.

27

2011-01-27T17:57:00.000-08:00

A picture of yourself a year ago and today... how have you changed?

That's pretty apparent huh?

Lil

Oops I did it again...25 and 26

2011-01-26T09:59:00.000-08:00

Day25- What's in your purse?
Day26- What do you think about your friends

What's in my purse? Not at all fun.. So today I will write about whats in Rain's purse. You know a 10 year old's purse is going to be wayyyyyy more entertaining.

And what do I think of my friends? Really? I thought we covered that. My friends are great. People who I do count as my friends are a blessing in my life. They lift me up and NEVER EVER make me feel self conscious or judged. They like me wild and they look forward to the next time I will stick my foot in my mouth. And they laugh with me not at me. And like I said before they forgive my stupidity. They stick with me and they are real genuine grown up people who don't play childish games with people's lives. So all in all... my friends are a great crew of great people.

Now on to the purse.

THIS is Rain's Purse... It's a cool purse. She takes it everywhyere.

This is the contents of her purse.

We have a wallet, a random yellow plastic string, a "Barbie grappling hook" Random Lego People, Uno cards. Her phone, her Military ID, some receipts, her latest song writing or poetry project, some little lego pieces in case her Lego people need some accessorizing and of course sily bands for trading...
Ah to be 10 again...

No maxi pads, no tampons, no makeup... Just her treasures.

Thanks for reading days 25 and 26... now get a life. ;)

Lil

24.. my my my I was not looking forward to this one

2011-01-24T18:18:00.000-08:00

But here goes

Topic for day 24.. a letter to my parents

Dear Dad,

Well what do I say. It seems we understand eachother so well. We are very similar people. We are both left handed and we are both assholes. That's why we get along so well. Neither of us put up with eachother's bullshit. I love the way you are with me. I will never forget how tight you hug. Your hugs are the best. Thank you for being there on 9/11... I am sure God knew I would need you more than even I knew or any of us imagined... but we sure as shit shared a hell of a day... And I hope will always be there for you when I can.. I wish you and Chuck got along better, but I can't always have what I want. My favortie aspect of you is that you never judge me and you are always supportive of me. I wish you had had more patience when I was little, you generally did scare the shit out of me. But, ever since I have been old enough to cuss we've gotten along fine. Thanks for the Christmas stockings with the cartons of cigarettes!! And all of the dirty jokes!!! You're slightly awesome!!! It's where I get it!

I was so happy to spend time with you in Baltimore. I will treasure that trip forever. I loved it there and I can see why you miss it so much. I wish you would take better care of yourself. I wish you wanted to live to be old. But I understand. You gotta do you. I hope I get to spend your last years closer to home so I can be there for you. That definitely worries me sometimes...I worry I will be here when you go and I won't get to say goodbye. Anyway hopefully I will visit with you soon. I miss you.

Love, Lil

Dear Mom,

You died and it sucks. I still hate that you're gone. I am going through so much these days and I miss calling you and getting your sage advice. All the stuff with Rain.. and I would love to know how you dealt with me... Aside from drinking your troubles away. I miss telling you all the cool things Ellie says. But you aren't here. You're watching from above and I am pretty sure you aren't always loving what you see. But since you're not here to judge me... we'll have to wait to talk about it later. Sorry about being too scared to be in the room with you when you were dying. I left Georgia as late as I possibly could on purpose. I couldn't deal with it. So I procrastinated. And you died while I was somewhere outside Valdosta on I75. I will do better with Dad.. I promise. And I am also sorry we didn't discuss your impending death. There were so many things I wanted to say. And in the end I just hugged you really tight. And grabbed your shoulders and looked in to your eyes and said "I really Love you... you know that right?"... You said "yes".. I hope that was enough. You don't know how long it took me to get over the fact that I never said "mom... you're dying, and I am going to miss you." And after you left I was so fucking angry. You have no clue. I couldn't STAND that the casket was open. WHY!!?? And I hated that we couldn't be at the graveside when they lowered you in because of the stupid rain. And NOT cool on the whole loosly packed earth... haha!! "lets see Lillian freak the hell out when she sinks into my grave calf deep the next day" thing... Not cool!
I am not angry anymore at you. I was for a very long time. Your life choices sucked. I mean seriously bad choices. But in the end they were yours to make. You really were finished raising Chuck and I , and I wish it had meant more to stick around for your granddaughters.. but you were unhappy and you dealt with your unhappiness in the way that suited you. So in the end you lived your way and died your way. And I respect that. I respect anyone who lives or dies their own way. So for that... props.

Well, I will see you on the flip side.

Hopefully not too soon.

Love, Lil

Day23- A picture of something that means a lot to you.

2011-01-23T16:17:00.000-08:00

Here...

Thank you Teri... This meant a lot to me... I can't visit with my mom becaue I am so far away. and this Cristmas my friend Teri, who honestly doesn't even know me all that well went and took my mom flowers... Because she knew it would mean a lot to me. She sent me the picture and literally this picture means a lot to me. So it's a picture of something that means alot to me.

Lil

22- this blog is getting to be annoying...

2011-01-22T23:37:00.001-08:00

But I suppose committment isn't always a fun thing.
Today's topic.... "How did your day go?"
Well I got my hair did... and I Started Awakened.. the Next House of Night book... which I will probably finish tonight... Yeah I'm awesome...
And then what else... ?? Hmmm I ate BBQ and Watched 2 movies... One was Sex Drive... It was totally not as raunchy as I had hoped.. where were all the boobies?
The I watched When In Rome... super sappy girly flick... It was alright. And Now I am doing this bloggy blog thang..
Back to my book and then to dream land...
Kisses peoples....
Lil

Benadryl= forgot to blog yesterday... I finally screwed the pooch on this project

2011-01-21T11:05:00.000-08:00

20 The Maening behind your blog name

21 A photo of something that makes you happy

There is no meaning to my blog name. The Hitchhikers Giude to the Galaxy is a great book... I Stole most of the words to the title to use for my blog's name. The original name if this blog was baby mamma drama... and I was going to use the blog anonymously to make fun of mom's I didn't like... But alas it was not destined to be. I started blogging on Myspace and I found it cathartic. I adopted blogspot when I adopted Facebook. I grabbed the old baby mamma drama blog and changed the name.

That is all on that

This picture makes me happy...

19...

2011-01-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

Nicknames and why I have them
My name is Lillian
I am called Lil by my close friends and I use it as a signature on email type correspondece.
I am rarely called Lily...
As a kid I was either made fun of with Lilly Pad or Silly Lilly..... 2 Reasons why I detest the name Lilly.
My mom called me Bird... I guess because I can sing...
My Dad calls me Pumpkin or Pumpkin Seed... or Seed Or Seed Weed. I never asked why. It just was.
That's all I have for today.
I have already had my melatonin for the night and I am ready to sleep.
Nighty Night blogosphere...
Lil
"Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot, Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd, Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee Take all myself."--- Juliet

18

2011-01-18T22:09:00.001-08:00

Goals, Plans... something something... I don't remember the actual topic for this blog.
I am now WAITNG til March to start Massage Therapy School; which is CRAP, but not my fault... Something to do with re-working the cirriculum and some other shit.... Oh well. My life will be getting more complicated a little later than I planned. But apparently my tuition might be reduced because of this re-working of things so I won't complain.. and besides now I have time to get my new boobs before I start classes. This is a good thing. I thought I was going to have to wait on the boobs til after I graduate.. Now I can hurry up and get the puppies refilled. No kidding. I lost 20 pounds and I wasn't even trying and my big boobs shrunk and deflated. they need help. Anyhoo... yay I can get my boobs! ok off the subject really... back to my goals and plans and whatnot...
Ok when I get my liscense I plan to start my own buisness. Private clientele. Will travel etc. Haven't thought of a name for my awesome buisness yet, but I have time...Maybe I'll do a facebook poll... and the world can name my awesome massage buisness for me. I'm lazy enough for that.
Anyway until this military gig is over with that's the plan. Drive somewhere with my massage table, a can of mace, and a tazer (just in case) and make 90 bucks for an hour of my time. Oh and make people feel better... It's a healing career field... And no I am not a hooker!!! Shut UP!
When we go home, I will probably look in to massaging at one of the spas at Disney World.
Free Tickets for the grand kids... Right?!?!?!
If not that, then I want to work at the Haunted Mansion at the Magic Kingdom... that's kind of a dream job of mine... I kid you not...
Oh! and in the short term? I might dye my hair pink.
Ok that's about it...
Keep on dreaming big peoples!!!! I will be your example!

“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."- Jame Dean

When I was 17 it was a very good year..

2011-01-17T20:29:00.001-08:00

Day17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and what would you would do and why.

Ok So The person I would switch places with would be the person I wrote number 13's blog to.
what I would do?
Self mutiliation. And maybe commit a crime where my face was seen by lots of wittnesses and cameras.
Then I would remain in hiding til my 24 hours was up.
Then jerk face can deal with the repercussions...

Why? Because I hate that person that much.

“And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe" -The Book of Exodus.

Sweet 16

2011-01-16T23:36:00.000-08:00

I'm tired again and am not going to write a whole lot...
But today's topic... Put your MP3 player on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that play. If you want to talk about them do it.
ummm My Mp3 Player is out of battery juice. So I will put my Media Player on Shuffle instead... Then I will do this thingy and go to bed...
Lets see how this goes.
Help Me Rhonda by the Beach Boys came in at number 1.. Super fun song...

Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2... is number 2.. killer song!!!

Wicked Game by Chris Isaac Popped up as the number 3 song on my little shuffle thingy. Uber sexy song....

Get Back By the BEATLES number 4... It's the version on the Love Soundtrack... it's just a little more punchy with bits cut out from A Day in the Life and Glass Onion... it's awesome... woop woop Get Back Jo Jo!!!

I Want You (She's So Heavy) by the BEATLES ( Beatles double representing!!! nice!) number 5... this song gets annoying... but it's sexy... but mostly annoying...

Don't Tell Me by Madonna is number 6... Take the Black off a crow?.... is that even survivable? For the crow not me? It's a great Karaoke song for me... :)

I'm Shady by Eminem.... This song is rediculous... Number 7... thank God I am almost finished...

Anywhere Is by Enya just popped up as number 8... I love this tune... First time I heard it I was driving back on Hwy 50 with Brad and we were jammin out to Enya... LOL Good times. Love this tune though.. As a matter of fact I have just decided that that will be the tuneage for this blog... hopefully you're enjoying it... if not.. oh well my blog my choices...

Guns are for ******* by 311 is number 9... honestly not one of my favorite 311 songs.. But I have the whole of the blue album so there it is just kinda sitting on my hard drive. It's not on my MP3 Player though... it's kindof a stupid song..

And number 10???????? (drum roll please).........
Can't Stop this Thing We Started by Byran Adams... wow that was anti-cilmactic

What have we learned from this list of only 10 songs sitting on my hard drive among the 1029 songs total? I have a very weird collection.. Didn't even hit on the Broadway musicals in here and the Snoop Dogg... an no love for REM??? Weird... oh well...

But I do love how the Beatles got a double shout out... even if the one song is annoying... still a good representation of me...
Deuces!

"If music be the food of love then play on!"--William Shakespeare..

15 easy peasy..

2011-01-15T22:43:00.000-08:00

I am supposed to write about something I never leave the house without.

I am tired and spent the day climbing all over Makapu'u so I am not feeling the writing tonight.

I never leave the house without the Coach Sunglasses Amy Beeman gave me back in 2009... The first pair of nice sunglasses I have ever owned and I have managed to not lose them (so far)

I have taken them to Florida, California, and Baltimore....

They make me happy.

Here's me today... queen of the mountain... in my Coach sunglasses...

Aloha!

14 is my favorite number

2011-01-15T00:30:00.000-08:00

Day 14- A TV show you are currently addicted to.

Weeds: After her husband's unexpected death and subsequent financial woes, suburban mom Nancy Botwin embraces a new profession: the neighborhood pot dealer. As it seems like everyone secretly wants what she's selling -- even city councilman Doug Wilson -- Nancy is faced with keeping her family life in check and her enterprise a secret from her neighbor/pseudo-friend/PTA president, Celia Hodes

This show cracks me up. I am just now discovering it and have been watching episodes daily. I am up to season 4. Celia just had her tooth knocked out by a gun butt slap to the face. And I Love how Kevin Nealon's character (Doug) is just a complete stoner idiot.

"You're like a mermaid... A beautiful Mexican Mermaid... a mermex... Goodbye Maria Mermex"

Good grief!!!

this show is just plain aweosme!!!

Here are some memorable quotes from the show:

Andy: "How can you be so blindly pro-Bush?"

Doug:"I like his wife Laura... I used to buy weed from her at SMU."

Andy:"Man, how did you get so smart at what, sixteen? It took me years to learn slightly defective chicks are the way to go. I once went out with this girl with a baby arm, insane in the sack, plus when she grabbed my dick with her little hand it looked gigantic. "

Doug:"Don't look at me, I'm fucked up on corn bread"

Ok that's all I got for tonight... I'm tired. I ate more chocolate than should actually be allowed at one time and I think I need to go slip in to a sugar coma...

Tomorrow I am getting my nails done and then hiking up to Makapu'u Point to see if we can spot some whales.

"I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, mid-evening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-mid-afternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . . ...But never at dusk."--- Steve Martin

PS: I want Nancy's Shoes from thepicture above.... that is all....

Unlucky Number 13

2011-01-13T10:54:00.000-08:00

Today’s Topic Write a Letter so someone who has hurt you recently.

*Explicit content warning*

As usual blogs like this require a disclaimer. If you are easily offended, or even possibly fearful that this one is meant for you, then don’t read. If you are going to wince at the “S” word or the “F” word.. or any other ugly expletive I can come up with this is the time to close the browser. If you want to know the ugly side of me… then definitely keep reading. What cracks me up is: I wonder how many people will wonder if this is for them. LOL.... suckers!

Dear Person who has hurt me recently,

I was not looking forward to writing this. Why would I? That would mean I actually have to address you. It means that at this moment I am thinking about you. And I can't stand you so I am nauseous at the thought of even talking to you via my blog, which you won't even be reading. It means that what you did actually made an impact on me. I have spent a great amount of my time pretending that what you did was no big deal. Pretending that what you did was nothing to me, because you weren’t who I thought you were. Even when I was warned about you, I overlooked it because I thought we were friends, but since we never were friends, I wasn’t really let down by the person I thought you were. Well, what you did indeed impacted me, it did hurt. It humbled and humiliated me. And it has forever changed the way I look at people. I will never EVER trust again. I will never see an act of kindness and just take it at face value. I will forever be questioning peoples motives, and wonder what's in it for them. I will never believe in people. So what can I say:

What can I say to a disgusting, piece-of-shit, who is so fucking narcissistic and sick in the fucking head that honestly the world would be better if they weren’t in it? What can I say to a monster that derives pleasure from using and abusing people and humiliating them? What can I say to a complete fucking waste of air? What can I say to someone who I think should maybe just go fuck themselves and die? What can I say to a lying manipulating self serving asshole? What can I say to someone I trusted who then threw that trust in the trash? What can I say to someone who got off on the ego boost of getting me to trust them and like them so they can then slap me in the face? What can I say to someone I counted among my trusted friends, only to discover I was just a fucking joke? What can I say to the person who’s face makes me throw up a little bit every time I see it? What can I say to someone who I will NEVER EVER forgive?? What can I say to a PERSON (and I use that term loosely because I doubt you’re even human) who I will DIE HATING?!?!

Well…. What can I say? You bring out the “fuck you” in me.

Love, Me

Day 12... don't hate... :)

2011-01-12T11:44:00.000-08:00

Topic: A picture of the place you live. Today's forecast what? Like 55 in Orlando.... Nee Ner Nee Ner Neeeeee Ner!!! This is going to be fun.

Aloha!!! :P

I almost forgot you day 11

2011-01-11T23:49:00.000-08:00

oh well before bed I better do this. Afterall I comitted to it. Blah.

Topic of the day... A picture of my favorite place to eat.

So here you go.

My house!

I cook like a mo fo.... I am an excellent cook. I can invent recipes and I follow recipes well too. And my favorite part is that I made it. Cooking is very cathartic.

For me fat equals flavor and Bacon is Gods gift to the planet . Whole Milk Mozzarella is a must. Low moisture part skim Mozzarella is only good in the form of those string cheese things. All Cuban food is delish and I am NOT afraid to try new and interesting things. And when in doubt.. it could alwys use more red pepper flakes.

Ok heres the pic... going to bed.

On the 10th day of Lillian I bring you more music.

2011-01-10T11:32:00.000-08:00

*Explicit Content Warning*
Today's blog entry is one of those "No Holds Barred" Entries I warned you about when I started this project. I am who I am and I type to suit my tastes. If you are interested in what I have to say read on. If however, you are easily offended, or put off but the "F" word then please close this blog and tune in tomorrow where I might be less offensive.

Now for those of you who have chosen to continue this journey with me, Today's Topic...Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, hyped, bored, and mad.

"Music is what feelings sound like"- Unknown

When I am happy my music tends to be hip hoppy or dancey or something energized or full of metal. Something I can dance to or bang my head to. Something I can drive with with the top down on the Boop Mobile and just let it fly! Sometimes if my mood is foul I will turn on something dancey and happy just to improve my mood. I have always loved music and I love so many songs out there.
My list of happy songs includes but is not limited to the following:
September by Earth Wind and Fire
Lets Groove by Earth Wind and Fire
Boogie Wonderland by Earth Wind and Fire
Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder
Oh What a Night by the Four Seasons
Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams
Two Step By Dave Matthews Band
In the Mood by the Glenn Miller Orchestra
Firework by Katy Perry
The Memory Remains by Metallica
Hey You By 311
BYOB by System of a Down
Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance
Sexy Chick by David Guetta
3 by Brittney Spears
Womanizer By Brittney Spears
Rock Star by Pink
Raise Your Glass by Pink
Bad Influence by Pink
Ray of Light by Madonna
Man I Feel Like a Woman by Shania Twain
She Loves You by The Beatles
In My Life by the Beatles
And Your Bird Can Sing by The Beatles
Penney Lane by The Beatles
Revoloution by The Beatles
Wouldnt it Be Nice by The Beach Boys

Ok I have a lot of Happy Songs... this list could go and go... but I am gonna stop there...

"For me, singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness." Reba McEntntyre

Sad. Well Sad songs are not my thing. I generally use music to feel better, and sad songs bring me down. I have heard songs that will make me cry. That is never my intention when it comes to music. Sad music makes me sadder if I am am already sad... And most sad songs are about heartbreak or death..... but here are some of songs that will definitely qualify as sad songs. However again I will say that I tend to use music to lift my spirits. So this list is of my favorite sad songs and not the ones I actually listen to when I am sad.

Stuck in a Moment by U2
Jar of Hearts by Christina Perry
Grenade by Bruno Mars
Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton
Crying by Roy Orbison
Epiphany by Staind
Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
Creep by Radiohead
Stan by Eminem
No Love by Eminem
Mad World by Tears for Fears
And my all time fave Sad song.... Everybody Hurts by REM

"In music the passions enjoy themselves." Friedrich Nietzsche

My hyped songs can also fall in to my happy or angry song category. I love getting pumped to these songs. Some are excellent to run to.
Sloop Jobhn B by The Beach Boys
One by Meatllica
Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance
Smack My Bitch Up by Prodigy
Their Law by Prodigy
Bulls on Parade by Rage Against the Machine
Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine
Crawling by Linkin Park
Duality by Slipknot
Bodies by Drowning Pool
BYOB by System of a Down
Down with the Sickness by Disturbed
Guerrilla Radio by Rage Against the Machine
Pump It by the Black Eyed Peas
And Stone Cold Steve Austins Theme music... "I don't do what you tell me"

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." Berthold Auerbach

Bored

when I am bored I put on some dancy stuff at well. Something to pull me out of my funk.
Things like:

G6 by Far East Movement
Booty Bounce by Dev
Low Low Low by Flo Rida
Yeah by Usher
Sexy Chick by David Guetta
I've Got a Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas
Lets Get it Started by The Black Eyed Peas
My Humps by The Black Eyed Peas
Pump It by The Black Eyed Peas
Causing a Comotion by Madonna
Ray of Light By Madonna

"Music Doesn't Lie" - Jimmi Hendrix

And mad... Mad is when I really like to rock out. I can scream at the top of my lungs and let the anger out. Or pretend I'm gangsta, and imagine busting a cap in someone's ass. My Angry Songs are generally Songs where I can say Fuck alot... Yeah I know..
Warning your eye sockets might sting after reading this list.
My angry songs include

Die Motherfucker Die by Get Set Go
Die Motherfucker Die by Dope
Still (Die Motherfucker Die) by Geto Boys
Fuck You By Lily Allen
Fuck You by Cee Lo Green
Fuck You (An Ode to No One) by Smashing Pumpkins
Fuck You Bitch by DMX
Fuck Ya by McLean and McLean
Fuck You by Wesley Willis
Fuck You by Lil Kim
Hey Fuck You by the Beastie Boys
Another Fuck You Song by Against All Authority
There's No I in Fuck You by Walls of Jericho
Fuck You by the Stiffs

I think you get the point.

Well for the most part there are my lists. There are so many songs I have left out. There are songs I will think of and I will be like "ugh !!! That should also beon my list for this or that!" But this is all stuff of the top of my head. So be it. This entry is complete.

"I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music"--George Eliot

NINE!!!

2011-01-09T20:03:00.000-08:00

Topic a photo of my most recent purchase.

Well I bought something today that I won't get for a little bit so I will just tell you I bought a few neat handbags from my friend Sam....
It's super cute, monogrammed, and good quality.
I'll stick a picture on this blog in like 3 or 4 weeks... lol sorry....
:)
Lil

Day 8 of the Lillian Project

2011-01-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

Today's Topic: a Song to Match your mood. Easy Peasy... But will you sit and listen to it?

Hmmmm

Lil

Day 7.. 1 week down

2011-01-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

Today's Topic: A picture of someone or something that has had the biggest impact on you.

Ok well I thought about this all day yesterday and I have 2. First off I can't leave out Jesus Christ. I have known Him my whole life. He knows I am flawed, sometimes a hypocrite, and not always the best me I can be for Him. I know this too, and in my years of living I have asked for forgiveness from Him alot. I am no Mother Theresa, but I do try to be a decent person. Sometimes I am not. Sometimes I fail miserably. Sometimes I am downright nasty. I cuss alot, and I am generally a screwed up person. But He has been there for me my whole life. I don't know a day that has ever gone by where He wasn't present in my life. Even when I wasn't present for Him. I have been angry with Him and I have even shouted at Him. But I know he forgives all of my transgressions and will continue to do so as I continue this journey called life. He died for my screw ups. And I know that I don't deserve that kind of love, but He loved me that much. Pretty Amazing!

So this is obvious if you're a parent. The instant I knew I was pregnant with Rain it changed my life forever. She was a beautiful baby and a very difficult one. But wow what a smarty. She is crazy smart and now a days crazy moody. Rain is talented and very artistic. The girl draws better than I do. And she's hoping to grow up and go to art school. Very cool indeed.Then along came Ellie. She was the easiest pregnancy and labor and delivery ever. If I could know that it could always be that easy I would have had lots of babies. Alas there are no guarantees. What a funny baby she was. Easy going all the way through her toddler years. Now she is the sweetest 8 year old EVER. Her heart is HUGE. She is loving and kind and she makes me laugh every day. If her interest in cooking continues I wonder if she won't end up a famous chef. Rain and Ellie make me feel blessed every day!

Having kids changed me forever. No matter what happens in my life I will ALWAYS be their Mami. What a cool designator... I am a Mommy.. forever. Now that's IMPACT!

~Lil

"I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." ~William Penn

Lillian Day 6

2011-01-06T12:04:00.000-08:00

Topic: Your favortie super hero and why...

Ok So I love Batman.. I love Superman.. I love Wonder Woman, I love Spiderman and I Really Love the X-Men... And my pick is indeed a mutant....

The honour of favorite superheroine goes to Jean Grey.

Why?

Because look!!! She's making out with Hugh Jackman!!! Hello!!!!

Yeah I know she's Cyclop's bitch... but look!!!! It's Hugh Jackman!!! And they're Making out!!!! His little blade dealy do's are all out and that's just hott.

She wins! (Oh! and she's an uber powerful telepath... I guess that's important too....)

Lil

"You lose, Sinister. This is my mind -- my soul -- my life -- and I mean to keep them to myself!"--Jean Grey

Day 5 of Lil

2011-01-05T18:54:00.001-08:00

Day Five- A picture of where you've been.
Well I have been to lots of places. And I always go big so here is my blog about the places I have been.
I was born in Titusville Florida. My parents brought me home to the house on Scott St. And I spent my first 18 years there. Titusville is the home of the next empty building. A few of it's finer points are the bars and the tattoo shops on Hopkins Avenue.

Titusville is located on what we Titusvillians like to refer to as the Space Coast. Other fine points of Titusville include the way too large homes for the soon to be unemployed NASA employees.
And 2 Malls!!! One has 1 store in it.. And Daves Hot Dogs.. Daves is an institution... JC Penney is holding out hope that there will be a miracle in the Miracle City Mall and somehow the mall will resurrect itself. The other Mall used to have only a couple of stores and now it's the place to be... well no actually people still go to Orlando or Viera to do their shopping. I don't blame them.

The best part about growing up in Titusville was every time a shuttle would launch we would be called out of school and we could watch the launch with our own eyes. I used to love the rumble.

When I turned 18 I moved to South Dakota. If you haven't noticed it's a long way from the ocean and Florida. I saw snow and mountains... well I guess they're hills. The Black Hills. I saw Deadwood and I saw Mt Rushmore.... ALOT... it's the thing people want to see when they visit the (haha) hustle and bustle for Rapid City, South Dakota.

The Badlands were like a playground and I loved to look at the buffalo. I would name them and picnic and wonder if they were going to charge the car. There were also deer. I had never seen a deer and driving from Rapid City to Souix Falls you see a lot of deer that had been hit by semi's and chopped clean in half. Epic!

Travelling from Rapid City to Titusville takes exactly 36 hours. You drive through Souix City, Iowa, Omaha Nebraska, Kansas City and St Louis, Missouri ( I never want to ever ever ever drive on I70 through St Louis) Someplace Kentucky, Nashville, and Memphis, Tennessee, Atlanta, Georgia, Lots and lots of sights to see along the way. So I have been to those places and seen those sights. All I really remember was thinking I was going to die in Missouri..

While I was in South Dakota I joined the Air Force and I got lucky (haha) went back to South Dakota.. By way of San Antonio Tx and Bilouxi Mississippi. Eventually We went to Shreveport, Louisiana. That place is a hell hole. It's because of living in Shreveport that I know what it sounds like to have bullets smacking the pavement 3 feet in front of you.. That place is ghetto and podunk all at the same time.I have nothing good to say about living there except.....

The food is awesome!!!!!!! I would go back ONLY to eat the crawfish, sausage, corn and potatoes... And the Cofee with chickory and bignets. C'est si Bon!!! oh and I liked the Zeideco music..

After Shreveport I went back to exciting Titusville for a year then off to beautiful boring Warner Robins, Georgia. I lived in a horrid house for the first 4 years. Made some good friends and had other than my friends an unremarkable time.

Warner Robins is famous for it's Little League World Series wins...

Finally I got my wish and we moved to the lovely island of Oahu in the great state of Hawaii. I effing love it here. And if I weren't so homesick I would want to stay here forever. I love the ocean. I love to surf, paddle board, lay in the sun, snorkel, and my favorite thing to do it drive The Boop Mobile with the top down down the Pali Hwy or the Likelike Hwy or the H3 blasting the stereo all alone. Just me....

And the random rainbows.

Since living here I have developed a bit of a travel bug. I have visited Sacramento, California and Baltimore, Maryland. I enjoyed those places a bunch as well.

So there you go. Day 5 complete.

Aloha!

“All the pathos and irony of leaving one’s youth behind is thus implicit in every joyous moment of travel: one knows that the first joy can never be recovered, and the wise traveler learns not to repeat successes but tries new places all the time.” – Paul Fussell

Lillian Day 4

2011-01-04T14:41:00.000-08:00

Today's topic is called "Your favorite picture of your best friend."

I don't know about favorite ones but I have a couple of great pics of my 3 very best friends.

Since I have known Lauren the longest she goes first. I have known Lauren for what?... like 22 years now. And we have been thick as thieves that whole time.We quite literally grew up together. She has great fashion sense and is beautiful inside and out. She is a wonderful mother. She, like my other BFF's, has overlooked my ablilty to stick my foot in my mouth. Although with Lauren I think (unless I am wrong about this) I mostly said something stupid when we were children and she would indeed go tell on me to her mom. But in the end always forgave me. She's twisted like me and will always be the person I go to to plot the best revenge. She is one of the strongest people I know, and was there for me when my mom died. I consider her family. She has been my secret keeper my whole life. She has wittnessed ALL of my pain and I have seen her through some of hers as well. No matter what, we stick hardest together. If I were to walk out on my life right now and drag the kids and my dog AND my cat AAAAND my fish with me, she would put me in her home. She wouldn't charge rent, and she wouldn't set a time limit... no matter what kind of an imposition I would be.(Poor Tom) ;) That's just who she is. She loves greatly and loves past hurt. She is my sister. I will love her til I die. And then some....

This is my favorite picture of Lauren and I taken at her wedding.

My next Best Friend is Jennifer. Wow what a heart! I met Jennifer in High School. Truth be told I wanted to steal her boyfriend... or at the very least get them broken up because then he would be single and I could continue my pathetic attempts at chasing after him. So I befriended her trying to get the scoop on her relationship and hopefully mess it up. Well it took all of maybe a week (I think even less than that ) for me to forget about my plan. Jen was the coolest most just laid back chick I had ever met. Her sense of humor is remarkable. We had similar tastes in music and the arts and she took me in to her heart so readily I just couldn't sabotage her. Before too long at all we were spending whole weekends together and I joined the drumline just so we could be together more often. Again, as is my habit, I did some dumb stuff and she forgave me. I had told her of my plot early on and she mostly laughed and was like " Well that didn't work out did it?" Anyway the thing about Jen is that she is a good person. She is genuinely good. It always makes me sad when something doesn't go right for her because she only deserves the best. This one time I messed up really good and it took me YEARS to ask for forgiveness. I waited because I hated myself for ever hurting her and I couldn't face her dissapointment. When I finally did ask her forgiveness she said to me. "I forgave you the same day it happened." That's Jen. She's got twin boys now and a loving husband and I will love her forever!

This is Jen and I when she stopped over on Oahu during her honeymoon. It's not my favorite picture of her though...

This is... and now she's going to kick my butt... but I really DO love this picture of her.

OK and then there's Wade... He's a new addition to my BFF list which had only contained Jen and Larlar for so long. And although I consider him a best friend, truth is we don't know eachother as well as we could. But that changes and we learn more and more about eachother every day. We're both into a LOT of the same TV shows (Jersey Shore Holla!), we're both foodies, we like the same music and we both love to travel. I think he would be a FANTASTIC trave agent. We talk almost every day and we laugh a lot. I think that if I had to confide in him I could trust him completely. And he trusts me. He spent some time with me at the beginning of 2010 and he was an impecable houseguest. He fit in with me and the girls like he'd known us his whole life. And again he is forgiving. Although I do believe that if you really really REALLY piss him off... then he is not one to be trifled with, but if you come to him and ask for that forgiveness he will give it. He can even laugh about it... later. That's Wade! He's sick like me. :)

This is my favorite picture of Wade. I took it... he's with Beans.... Beans LOVES Wade..

In 2013 Wade and I are going to put together a road trip and we're going to eat everything we can get our hands on. We're going to get a car and blast Ke$ha and eat all day and party all night. I simply adore him and I am so blessed to have made such a wonderful new best friend.

Je t'aime Wade!

So there you have it Day 4... This isn't all that hard and I am having fun... for the most part.

Have a great January 4th!!

"If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me." ~Author Unknown

Lillian Day 3

2011-01-03T14:00:00.001-08:00

Topic. A Picture of you and your friends.
Great! I bet I step on about 20 sets of toes. FUCK!!!
Of course I get this assignment today.
Initially I was really looking forward to this one. But now I am not sure what to write. Or post. Living far from home and far from the people I count as my closest friends and confidants, I have made many aquaintences, but for some reason or another (probably it's my personality ) I don't feel like I have ever made a close friend like the ones I have had since I was a kid.
Because of Facebook I have rediscovered some friendships and in the case of Wade and I who really only shared a class but never hung out (which we so should have!!!) it turns out we have so much in common that over the last 2 years he has defiinitely been elevated to the bff status that I have ever only saved for Lauren and Jennifer. So I am really lucky to have found a friend like that! (Eat Pray EAT 2013.. it's ON!!!!)
Fact of the matter is I base my true friendships on the fact that I have, and will, stick my foot in it. I screw up. Either my foot ends up in my mouth, and I don't realize it. Or I am in some way or another not the kind of friend these people deserve. And in the cases of Wade, Lauren, and Jennifer,they have a capacity to forgive and love me beyond my idiocy. I treasure them.
I also have friends out there in the world who do like me and I like them and I will always want to know how they are and I want nothing but the best for them, but I'm not as tight with them as I could be. And in the cases of Steve and Teri and Rick Man.. Wow I am so glad to have you in my life... even if only in a facebook capacity. Steve you effing rock and make me laugh. Teri.. the size of your heart is just astounding. And Turtle.. I will always love you!!!
Ok enough shout outs!
I am a loud person and I think, (no I know) it puts people off. It's been that way since I was a kid. It always suprises me when I get certain friend requests on facebook because I was always pretty certain I was not well liked as a kid. I did better in High School, where I found more people like myself and I had a lot more fun then I did when I was little. But for the most part I know I am a pain in the ass and generally not likeable. And I am also unwiling to change who I am. Why should I? I wouild rather be real and liked by few than fake and loved by all. I know, in a lot of cases over the years, I have made acquaintences who only tolerate me because they feel they should. And yeah it makes me sad sometimes, because eventually it shows. They can't fake it forever, and then I know it's time to move on. I have actually become used to it. I have learned to read the signs sooner and it usually helps me to know when to stop making a fool of myself. I am not saying that my acquaintences aren't good people. They really are. I wouldn't want to hang out with them if I didn't like them. I wouldn't enjoy their company if I didn't see qualities in them. So I hope it isn't taken that the people I associate with here, or the people I have hung out with in the past aren't good, fun, wonderful, people. I genuinely like everyone I have met here. And I genuinely liked the friends I made in Georgia. I literally didn't make friends in Louisiana, and I only keep in touch with one person from South Dakota so whatever... Hell! I even genuinely liked a person here who it turned out really REALLY didn't like me (and that was definitely one of those looking like a damn fool moments). I don't associate with that person anymore. Oh well.
So anyway forgive me for not posting a picture of me and my friends. I guess it's just that I wouldn't know who to post and who to leave out. And maybe there's someone out there that considers themselves my friend and I might leave them out. Then I would hurt their feelings, therefore putting myself in a position where I am back to sticking my foot in it. So excuse me if I try to avoid confrontation. There is a best friend Blog coming up and that will be much more cheerful. YAY!!!
The moral of today's blog is
If you want to be a good friend, make that person feel accepted... not just tolerated.

"We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately." ~ Benjamin Franklin

Lillian Day 2

2011-01-02T13:16:00.000-08:00

Todays topic a picture of what you have eaten. I'm just goonna do it my way though. As always.... :)

Ok so breakfast was 2 cups of coffee with my new favorite creamer. I heart coffee mate's coconut cream but I have also discovered the italian sweet cream. I could drink it straight. It tastes like reddi whip only not frothy (obviously) and for sustinence I had a Special K protein shake. I love both the Chocolate and vanilla flavors of this. Chocolate is rich and tasty and vanilla tasted like a vanilla pudding snack pack... who doesn't love pudding...????

Today I am going to go see Harry Potter again and I will eat a big ole popcorn with butter for lunch.. nom nom nom... I love this stuff... And the base theater has really decent popcorn.

And, well... dinner is to be determined. After the movie I am headed to the dreaded comissary and I have yet to put together a menu for the pay peroid. I really need to be doing that as opposed to blogging... but I have my priorities... even if they are backwards...

Ok til tomorrow...

nom nom nom nom....

Lil

"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie"-- Jim Davis

Day 1 of of Lillian

2011-01-01T19:24:00.000-08:00

Ok Today's topic is "A photo of yourself today and 15 interesting facts about yourself."

15?!?!

Really. Well first things first this is a picture of me last night which should be good enough. I happen to really like this shot. If you want to nit pick the rules well kiss my ass... my blog I pick the picture. :P

Anyway 15 interesting facts... ok...

Well here goes.... they will be facts but not really interesting.

1 I am left handed

2 I am a hella good cook

3 I am a hella lousy baker

4 Christmas is my favorite holiday

5 In the month of December I listen exclusively to old fashioned Christmas music

6 I have been told I can sing really well.

7 I was not as pretty in my 20's as I am in my 30's

8 It took me almost 30 years before I could ever say I thought I was pretty

9 When I was a kid I could really really tan with just 1 day at the beach. Now it takes multiple trips in to the sun to get half as dark as I did when I was a kid. Sup wit dat?!?!

10 I am about to start massage therapy school and I am required to practice on people my friends are lucky!

11 I have a handful of people in my life that I love like siblings,and I have "friends" who I think only tolerate me just to be nice.

12 I want to die smiling... in other words hopefuly barring the whole dying in my sleep at a ripe old age, I wanna go out yelling Woo hoo!!!

13 My favorite food is Stouffers French Bread Pizza. Only the quality of those bastards has greatly declined and I might need to pick a new favorite.

14 When I eat a french bread pizza I eat the pepperoni last. I scrape off the cheese and eat it then I get a spoon and eat the squishy saucy bread stuff. Then the Crunchy bread crust. Then I nom the pepperoni. Don't judge me!

15 I still have my Pound Puppy from when I was 8, and sometimes I still sleep with him.

Well that was remarkably easy, although I don't think much of it is all that interesting. The best part though is I don't embarass that easily. I'm a dork and I am weird... but at least I think I am pretty. :)

Happy New Year to my readers. And to all of my Asian readers.. I don't understand your comments. I am sorry but I am not bilingual and I am not even sure which language your symbols represent. If there is any way you could type in english that would be hella cool!

"I have lots of ideas! problem is most of the suck." -- George Carlin.

I wonder if I can change my theme music based on each of these blogs....??

2010-12-29T21:42:00.000-08:00

I know some of you still remember my "weird project" from earlier this year where I wrote down as many random thoughts as I could for a week then I posted them on the blog. And apparently saying "I have to poop." was the highlight of that blog.

Well I have been made aware of a blog project called "30 Days of me." Basically I write a blog a day for 30 days, I plan to start this on January 1st and hopefully I can commit to it and accomplish all of it. I will be no holds barred. Probably I will offend someone and no; for the most part I will not name names unless it is in praise. If you think I am being negative or saying something to you or you decide to take something I say personally and don't ask me if it was meant for you and you only assume that it is about you well whatever... people who are overly sensitive, or easily offended, or think that something I write is about you when it probably isn't that's your problem not mine... don't read it if you are worried I might upset you... The topics are pre determined and are as follows:

Day 1- A photo of yourself today and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 2- A photo of something you ate today (haha before I eat it or after? ewwww)

Day 3- A photo of you and your friends (this should be a fun blog)

Day 4- Your favorite photograph of your best friend. (I think since I have 2 I will post 2)

Day 5- A picture of somewhere you have been ( I will like this one)

Day 6- Your favorite superhero and why (I don't have one.. hmmm better find one... and she will have to be a badass bitch!)

Day 7- A picture of someone or something that has had the biggest impact on you. (this is a toughy)

Day 8- A song to match your mood (hmmm I wonder what my mood will be on January 8th?)

Day 9- A photo of your most recent purchase. ( I think I will buy something scandalous ;) )

Day10- Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, hyped, bored, and mad.

Day11- A photo of your favorite place to eat. (oh my goodness I will have to think on this)

Day12- A photograph of the town you live in.

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Day 14- A TV show you are currently addicted to.

Day15- Something you never leave the house without.

Day16- Put your MP3 player on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that play. If you want to talk about them do it.

Day17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and what would you would do and why.

Day 18- Plans or dreams or goals.

Day 19- Nicknames you have and why you have them.

Day20- The meaning behind your blog name.

Day21- A photo of someting that makes you happy.

Day22- How did your day go?

Day23- A picture of something that means a lot to you.

Day24- A letter to your parents. (wow)

Day25- What's in your purse?

Day26- What do you think about your friends.

Day27- A picture of you from 1 year ago and how have you changed?

Day28- Your favorite movie. (well crap! I have a ton of favorite movies this will be a long blog)

Day29- (MY BIRTHDAY!!!) I will write about the day I was born. And I will tell you if I got the China Beach DVD set I want so badly.

Day30- A photo of yourself that very day. And list your 3 favorite blogs from this project.

So anyway I am going to do this blog. And this month I will be starting school too and teaching my kids as usual and keeping the house clean. Speaking of cleaning house I wanted to share these 2 things with you...

This is Method Wood for Good Wood Cleaner. It's supposed to be environmentally friendly and smells like Amond Oil and after it dries smells like baby powder. I actually enjoyed cleaning and dusting the wood in my home yesterday and the house has smelled so good. Although it doesn't act as a polish the way pledge does. I am going to see if Method makes a polish...

And THIS is my new Shark Steam Mop. I love it. I am a happy happy camper!!!! My floors look so good and it is really light weight and easy to use. And NO chemicals. Chemicals ruin the wax finish on these junky floors and I am just so happy with my floors.

And the last thing is a story about a wart. Ellie has a nasty funky wart on her toe. In November the doctor told me to put mediplast on the wart and wrap the toe in duct tape. Once a week I was to take off the duct tape, clean off the wart, and then use a nail file to file off the dead skin of the wart left by the mediplast, add more mediplast, and more duct tape and wait another week before repeating all of the steps for 5 weeks. Well, after 5 weeks Ellie's wart looked mostly cured but the skin where the duct tape was was ruined. Her toe looked mangled and I decided that I was DONE with that type of treatment and I would see if the wart was indeed dead. Well it wasn't. It came back bigger and badder than ever. So off to the doctor we went and we froze the little booger, and the Doc told me told me when the blister turned black to file it off. I did this on Christmas night and as before the filing was to go like this... file til Ellie says "ow" then stop... Well when Ellie said "ow" I stopped filing and her wart began bleeding like I had sliced her up with a butcher knife... and the worst part was it bled for a full 24 hours and only after I propped her foot on a pillow for 4 or 5 hours the bleeding finally stopped. Today was freezing number 2 and filing will commence in about a week... wish me luck I don't ause my bitty baby to bleed again. Boy did I feel like an ass on Christmas.

ok that's it... Will begin the project on Jan 1.... all that resoloution nonsense... 30 days committment should be good enough.

Ok take care y'all...!!!
Whoop Whoop!

Some life lessons

2010-11-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

"Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take the wind out of it."
Mark Twain- Following the Equator

This goes out to all the people who seem to dealing with heartache right now. Some are confused. Some are hurt. Some are angry. And some are finding themselves in places they never believed they would. Some have banked on forever only discovering that forever came and went. Some just don't know what to do. Some know exactly what needs to be done and won't do it. And some have done it. Some are facing major upheavals and are welcoming them. Some are afraid of tomorrow.
Some are reeling because of a shock. And some are growing learning and getting stronger every day.
Time doesn't always heal everything, but time gives perspective. And although time won't change the past, the past will get further and further behind you. And the pain will become just a small pinprick as opposed to the gaping hole you feel today.
I hope that time moves quickly for you that your pain fades quickly. You will get through whatever it is you are going through. I promise that much. What I can't promise is that some other bad thing won't happen and you won't feel like the world is out to get you. But know you aren't alone in the belief that you just can't win. I think everyone feels that if it's not one thing it's another. So many of us wonder what the point is. Maybe you wonder if you can ever forgive a transgression. You wonder it will ever stop hurting. For some of you it is the forgiveness that you need the continues to elude you. Not everyone forgives, and not everyone gets forgiven. That's life. Sometimes you can't get closure. And sometimes there just ins't a silver lining.But, look around you. Look at the good things. That thing that made you smile today. The friend who offered a hug or told you a dirty joke. A song that made you sing out loud in the car. Your child or children who look at you as though you are their hero and hung the moon. The warming sun. The life giving rain. The beautiful snow. Think about how many people that didn't fuck you over today. Compare that ratio to the one person who did. Think on the people who you can talk to about your pain and know they will listen and that you're not alone. Know they love you. KNOW THEY LOVE YOU!

Lesson 1: Never forget they are always the enemy.
Lesson 2: You do not want to go to jail
Lesson 3: When you start to take your job too seriously, you're in trouble.
Lesson 4: It takes no more time to see the good side of life than it takes to see the bad.
Lesson 5: Just remember, assholes are born that way, and they usually don't change.
Lesson 6: If you decide to run with the ball, just count on fumbling and getting the shit knocked out of you a lot, but never forget how much fun it is just to be able to run with the ball.

-- Freddy Fishstick

This is a story of humiliation and hilarity.

2010-09-30T22:50:00.000-07:00

Ok so I know it's been a really long time since I blogged. I guess it's been because I haven't had a lot to say. But this week I have had two blog worthy things happen. Now one story is actually not for the public, and it would be just me bitching and moaning about how untrustworthy people can be. So beware of false friends..
There ya go.

Now on to the main event.

Yesterday I went to Waimea Bay. The waves were rumored to be 14-18' and I was looking forward to watching the surfers and seeing some bigger surf. I took the kids with me and it was sunny and just beautiful.

Well if you haven't been there I can't really describe it properly. The sandy area is really big. The ocean has carved out a hill, a steep hill where you can sit right on the top and watch the ocean. After the top of the hill it goes back maybe 60 or so yards and it butts up against all these volcanic rocks. Palm trees and rocks jutting out in to the water. Just beautiful. The waves were a bit of the way out and didn't look all that big, but they were. And every so often the lifeguards would put out a warning telling us beach goers that there would be a surge and to be careful of extra big waves.

(The shots above are from the top of the hill after a surge hit. Looking away from the ocean. The wave rolled up beyond the no swimming signs, took out my chair and almost made it all the way back to the "dry area" where it was supposed to be safe for Cell phones and ipods)

A couple of minutes after the announcement some really huge waves would wash up and roll up the huge hill and way back like 40 yards behind the top of the hill. Making little pools where the kids would play until all the water was absorbed by the sand. Well after watching for a little while I wanted to get my toes wet. And when the foam rolled up my toes and ankles it was so cool and refreshing and even if they rolled in on me a bit they didn't have a lot of punch. I guess that because for the most part they were breaking a ways offshore. So I took pictures and let the kids get toe deep and I got knee deep. It was so much fun feeling the water rush at me then pull at the backs of my legs. Hadn't been to a beach with any kind of swells other than Belowes since Lauren visited and we jumped at hidden beach. After a while I decided I wanted to take a video. It seemed on my view screen that the waves didn't look as big as they were and I hoped video would help to capture the perspective. And certainly standing way up on the hill you couldn't see how big they were. So I went down the hill to what I would call the water's edge and hit record. Below is the video. But I want to explain a couple of things otherwise it's not as funny. I mean this is some funny stuff, but if you only knew what was happening I mean it was so much funnier for me. And I'm the one who got messed up. So here we go...

I'm recoding I am seeing the waves trying to catch some good ones. First this one dude who was body surfing alot came by and asked me if I wanted my picture taken wih the waves in the background. Well since I already had pictures of myself with the waves and I was videoing I declined "thanks" and kept filming. I tried to zoom in on a tiny surfer catching a great wave out by the Church and just kind of talked to the camera like it was listening. Well at some point a wave made me feel a little wobbly and I am thinking the proper pronunciation of the word is "Damnitshitfuck!" Yeah I am still profane. "My bad."

Well then the waves got kinda small for a little bit and I started taunting Mother Nature. I was all dissapointed and even said "I wanna get knocked on my ass." I am stupid..

Anyhoo I could tell that a good set was coming because the under tow was getting stronger and pulling on my legs and I was actually having to fight to not get pulled out. You will hear me growling "grrrr" and also explaining the exfoliating benefits of this particular treatment. And yes BTW the legs are as smoothth as a baby's behind. Mmm hmmm! :) Well anyway you will eventually get to the good part. When I get taken out and rolled and tossed! It's awesome! Watch for the random leg moving from right to left. Uber Awesome!

Now here's what you won't know from this little piece of awesome...when I went under my top came off. Like around my belly button off. So I stayed in the water with the camera in one hand and yanking on my top with the other. It was difficult under the water rolling around and lacking air, but I got the top back on and I emerged. I see Rain and Ellie and they are losing ther freaking minds. I was about to tell them I'm ok when another wave comes and yanks my bottom off!! Down in to the water I go again in order to now hold on to the camera, my top, and to pull my drawers up. all while rolling around like a ragdoll in the subsequent waves that apparently thought this was funny as hell too! Finally I was dressed and coming out of the water. And trying to reassure the kids that I am indeed ok.. Which I really was.

And now I present public humiliation.

Enjoy! (kill the music at the bottom before hitting play if you want to hear the awesome noise I made as I fell. It's ab so fucking loutely the best part of the whole thing!)

I can just see it now...

2010-06-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

Wanna know what scares me? Robots! Automation will cause us all to be unemployed in the future and fully dependant on handouts from the government since we won't have jobs anymore. And since we have nothing but free money and free time on our hands we will become a very lazy bunch of human beings and, we will all ride around on those chairs from the movie WALL-E and become morbibly obese. The only people with jobs will be the people who program the robots, and then we will create a robot to program the other robots so now that guy doesn't have a job either. And before it can be deactivated, Skynet will launch US nuclear missiles under its command at Russia, to which Russia will respond in kind by firing many of its nuclear missiles back at the United States and its allies. As a result of the nuclear exchange, over three billion humans will be killed in just minutes. Governments around the world will collapse and anarchy will descend. Then we are all screwed... Just Sayin....

Ick! Gasp! Chubtastic!

2010-05-27T12:04:00.001-07:00

So much crap to tell you.

So since my last blogs were all political ramblings I realize you haven't heard from the real me in months.. so I guess I should do that huh...
I am not going to back track on the things I didn't talk about. If I had wanted to talk about them I would have. Here's what is going on right now. I am growing my hair out. It is annoying me today because while Mike was gone I was super stressed out and a lot of my hair fell out and now it is growing back and I have these sort little fly aways all over my head. Ick!
Mike is working the midnight shift. This is annoying because as a homeschooler I am trying to teach and keep the kids at a reasonable decibel level so their dad can sleep. Brilliant idea!
Facebook is beginning to annoy me. People post some ridiculous stuff. And in a lot of cases it is stuff I don't care about but there is it in my news feed all up in my grill. Sometimes I wish I could hide people... but I think they would notice... Also I hate when people post things that are maybe directed at you but could also be directed at about 100 other people. Or maybe not even directed at anyone on Facebook, but you are stuck there wondering if you were just insulted or if you should just ignore it.
Ellie is dealing with some medical issues. While they aren't major they are taking up a lot of time and are truly frustrating to deal with... Hopefully we can get her straightened out be the end of summer. Rain on the other hand is about to get seen for her toe walking issues. Her spine is starting to curve in a funny way and no matter how much we correct her she walks on her toes. Mike apparently walked on his toes and he loved to play sports and he ended up with a messed up back. He out grew the toe walking by the time he was Rain's age too so I am becoming concerned. I just hope they don't stick Rain in some sort of brace of something equally embarrassing. She is getting to the age where things like that matter to her. She is concerned about bad hair days and she's got itty bitty boobies now so I am guessing the teen diva stage is right around the corner.
We moved in to a new house I was so grateful for all of the people who helped. Mike's unit has some amazing folks in it. It would have never happened without all of them. The sucktastic part for me was when Mike had to go back on to the mid shift and the entire house cleaning portion was left to me. But I got that place spic and span and we passed the inspection and we don't live in a too small house anymore. I am hoping to throw a house warming party whenever Mike comes off Mids. This memorial day weekend I am making 8 lasagnas. I have no idea how much meat and tomato sauce and ricotta and mozzarella to buy so I guess a shit ton will have to do.
The Master Sergeant results came out today. Mike just tested 3 weeks ago so he is not on this list... he hasn't been scored yet. I guess we will find out in another month or so. He feels certain he didn't make it. But he studied really hard so maybe he's in for a surprise.
I figured out through some common sense thinking things through that I am on the WRONG birth control pill (gasp! but you're Catholic!!!) yeah well ... anyway. Back in 1999 here I was heavier than I should have been and still gaining along with some other stuff. Come to find out I have PCOS... fine and dandy go on fertility get pregnant... obla di obla da. Lost a bunch of the baby weight but couldn't get rid of the crap I gained from before I got pregnant... then I get pregnant again... blah blah.. Ok so after Ellie was born I went on a new pill and I did pretty good. only thing was I got killer cramps.. I was thin again because (I am thinking) I am exercising my butt off and what not but I tell the doc that I that these cramps. She looked through my record and saw that I was on this one pill and asked how my cramps were on that. And they were non existent as I recalled so she switched me back to what I was on in 1999. And now I have put on 10 lbs and I have ACNE! yep zits all over my beautiful face! it took me a while to correlate it but this pill exacerbates my PCOS symptoms... ugh now I can't get in to see the OB til June 14th. So I am just going to be looking like a teenager til then and I will continue working out so that I don't go the way of 1999. (chubtastic) Speaking of working out. I am kind of burned out on Drums alive and Zumba so I am going back to Slim in 6. I will do the entire 6 week program. (again) It works for me and I can stay at home and do it.
Well that's about all. I am thinking I will blog again after we do some work with Ellie. I will let you know what is going on with her, but I have a feeling a blog about this will involve a lot of pee and poop so you might avoid that one.

"Your future is embarrassing. I can't even talk about it without curling right back up."-- random fortune cookie.

I am getting a t-shirt with a big fat swastiKa on it!

2010-04-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

I am about to offend all of you...
"The blacks, those magnificent examples of the African race who have conserved their racial purity by a lack of affinity with washing, have seen their patch invaded by a different kind of slave: The Portugese.... the black is indolent and fanciful, he spends his money on frivolity and drink; the European comes from a tradition of working and saving which follows him to this corner of America and drives him to get ahead."- Ernesto Che Guevara
Do yo like that Jay Z? Who in the song Public Service Announcement says.. "I'm Like Che Guevara with bling on.." Brilliant!!!
Or When Jesse Jackson in Cuba says "Vive Fidel! Vive Che!" Yeah and he ran for president of the USA...

Speaking of the USA Che had this to say..."If the nuclear missiles had remained we would have used them against the very heart of America, including New York City,” Che Guevara confided to the London Daily Worker in November 1962. “We will march the path of victory even if it costs millions of atomic victims. … We must keep our hatred alive and fan it to paroxysm.”

How about this one?... "In fact, if Christ himself stood in my way, I, like Nietzsche, would not hesitate to squish him like a worm." hmmmmmm

How about this?“I don’t need proof to execute a man,I only need proof that it’s necessary to execute him!” I have dead relatives who can attest to that one... What about when you wear his shirt to a peace rally...“a revolutionary must become a cold killing machine motivated by pure hate”

So yeah I get offended when I see Che' T-shirts. He killed my Aunt's Fiance. He excecuted him after removing his eyes from his head. He excecuted lots of folks with out a trial. He hated artists. He hated musicians. He killed you if you did not agree with his brand of government. The only good thing that I have to say is after he threatened my grandfather, my grandfather left Cuba taking my mother and grandmother with him. I would not exist otherwise. So Thanks Che for that one.

This video is 8 minute long. Educate yourself. The music can be shut off at the bottom.

I make Mike uncomfortable.

2010-04-18T23:37:00.000-07:00

having a crying jag over the next prospect of when Mike will deploy. I know it will happen and I am just sad because i think if something happens to him I should be there by his side when he hurts. and I won't be there for Mike who would be all alone. He doesn't do alone well. This comes up because I am watching The Pacific and the one character has internal bleeding because of the concussion from the mortar was enough to cause internal bleeding. The concussion from Mike's truck bombing back in august had enough of a concussion to throw him across the room. And what if HE had caughed up blood. scared for his life and alone without my hand to hold. I am so scared at this point that it is just a game of roulette.. we'll send him til he gets killed... we'll put him in jobs that are not his job and putting him in these dangerous situations like in afghanistan.. He saw shit... it's with him forever and I hurt for him. I just had hoped that he would be taking his last breaths while I embrace him, not alone. these last 2 he was in direct danger. God's providence that Mike was runing late because it could have been him killed going to the gym, sadlt two others were on time and lost their lives. I am just scared. Scared of when he'll leave, Scared of where he will be, and scared if he'll make it home at all. I don't know what the music is set up for the log....I'll ned to change it to something else.

Political ramblings from me or Thank God I am not actualy paid to write.

2010-03-24T16:25:00.000-07:00

So here are my observations this week about this whole health care bill thing. I am not for it. I am not for government telling me what to do or how to live my life. That's about it... but here's something to think about and this goes out to my left wingers and my right wingers.
Don't be assholes. It doesn't make people want to even bother hearing your side of it when you insult them or their intelligence or their beliefs.
If I walk around calling Barrack Obama the anti christ I am pretty sure all my left wing friends out there will be offended, because for one thing that is basically me saying that they are supporting the anti christ and I am certain beyond the shadow of a doubt that anyone I associate with is not all about the anti christ. And if you are some devil worshipping weirdo well then please just disassociate yourself from me right now because I love Jesus! So there!
And... Speaking of that I am also pretty sure that all my friends who claim to be right wing conservative christian individuals need to think before they BASH someone who doesn't think like you do. It doesn't lead people to Jesus when you walk around all high an mighty claiming God is on your side and then call people names and act like a hypocrite. Just Sayin...
I happen to have participated in last year's tea party and I am proud I let my voice be heard. And I don't agree with this so called health care reform. If I wanted to live in a socialized country I would move to Canada. And BTW Great Britain is moving away from they're wonky health care system that we are now basing our model off of. BRILLIANT!
But If you do agree with it that's great for you. If you feel it is your moral obligation to give out all of your hard earned pay to the poor that's great for you. I don't begrudge you that.
Just because I don't agree with that line of thinking doesn't mean I like you any less or think you are stupid or even wrong.
But yeah... for instance on facebook this week I have seen it all. I have seen right wingers called elitist, uncharitable and evil. just on my news feed. (And for the record it isn't charity when you are being forced to pay it out. )
I have seen Left wingers called tree hugging hippies and evil and blind hero worshippers.
Look, it makes me sad to see everyone insulting everyone else. I am sick to death of the Republican/ Democratic rift in this country. Just among the people I associate with. There is so much ugliness. It just makes me sad.
Believe what you want to believe. That's what makes this country great. And yeah free speech is awesome and Lord knows now a days everyone seems to feel entitled to use it. But why use free speech to attack someone or hurt someone.
do a little research. Find a fact and post it. Like I did. I wanted to simply state yesterday the dictionary definition of Marxism, mostly because Mr Scary dude (Glenn Beck) (yeah he scares the shit out of me..) Keeps calling all of Obama's Aides and advisors Marxists. And President Obama's new spiritual advisor has outwardly admitted to being a Marxist. So I looked it up and posted the definition. But a couple of the responses to my little post were kinda mean. And really weren't the point of the exercise. I left them because I am not going to squash any one's right to post an opinion on something I put on facebook, but I don't think it helps people see your side of things when they're just having insults hurled at them.
I am here and I exist because my Grandfather decided he didn't want to live in a socialist/communist country. So I have a really hard time buying in to the notion that utopia is right around the corner if we are all just equal... Look how well it has worked so far.
Every one's entitled to their opinion, but try not to be so hateful America. Because all I see right now is a bunch of assholes. "Assholes to the left of me assholes to the right.... here I am stuck in the middle with you"

And now for something completely different: While I typed this, Rain and Ellie are in the playroom being quiet. I hear "Thwump" and then Rain shouts; "Oh! you are Dead. I am telling!" the Ellie says "NO!!!" and she stops Rain from opening the door. Rain says "Ellie that really hurt and I am going to tell on you... either that or I throw the book at you and hit you with it." Ellie says "throw the book at me." After a few seconds I hear "Thwump" And Ellie starts Bawling... "Rain that really hurt!" to which Rain responds "Duh!"

some of my favorite News of the Weird

2010-03-18T23:56:00.000-07:00

By Chuck Shepherd...

At first, Rev. Fred Armfield's arrest for patronizing a prostitute in Greenwood, S.C., in January looked uncontroversial, with Armfield allegedly confessing that he had bargained Melinda "Truck Stop" Robinson down from $10 to $5 for oral sex. Several days later, however, Armfield formally disputed the arrest, calling himself a "descendant of the original Moro-Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus and Afro Pithecus," a "living flesh and blood being with sovereign status," and someone who, based on his character and community standing, should not be prosecuted. Also, he claimed that any payment to "Truck Stop" with Federal Reserve Notes did not legally constitute a purchase since such notes are not lawful money.

Glenn Armstrong, 47, had a defense ready when police accused him of taking restroom photographs of boys in Brisbane, Australia, in January. He said he was having an ongoing debate with his wife and was gathering proof that most boys are not circumcised.

Craig Show, 49, filed a lawsuit in January against the Idaho State Police and the Bonner County Sheriff's Office, demanding compensation following his DUI arrest in August. Show said the cops had seized a "medicine bag" on his motorcycle and, in opening it for inspection, permitted the "mystical powers" inside to escape. The bag was blessed by a "medicine woman" in 1995 and, Show said, had been unopened since then.

Last May, a 13-year-old boy in Galt, Calif., became the most recent inadvertent beneficiary of foolish behavior. Acting on a dare, the boy had chugged eight shots of tequila and lost consciousness. A routine CT scan at the hospital exposed an until-then-unrevealed brain tumor, and the boy is slowly recovering from his arduous but lifesaving surgery.

Fredrick Federley, a member of the Swedish Parliament, said he has always campaigned as someone who does not take gifts from those he is responsible for regulating, but he was called out by the newspaper Aftonbladet in February for having accepted a free travel holiday from an airline. Federley denied that "he" accepted the trip. He reminded reporters that he is a notorious, flamboyant cross-dresser, and thus that it was his alter-ego "Ursula" who received the free holiday.

A 20-year veteran Houston cop who wears badge number 666 told the Houston Chronicle in a December profile that once, 17 years ago, a dangerous perp who had been defiant that he would not be captured suddenly dropped to his knees and surrendered. He had glanced at the badge. Said he, "I ain't fighting the devil."

Shane Williams-Allen, 19, was arrested in Tavares, Fla., in January and charged with burglarizing an unmarked police car and stealing several items, including handcuffs and a Taser gun. Eventually, Williams-Allen called the police for help after he accidentally cuffed himself, and officers believe he also accidentally Tasered himself. [Orlando Sentinel, 1-15-10]

In Kansas City, Mo., in December, the mother of Charles Irving tried to protect her 27-year-old son from a charge of being a felon in possession of a gun. She told police (without success) that he had needed the gun to protect her from vampires. [Kansas City Star, 12-8-09]

I have bangs yo! or Look at me and my big ole' toe box.

2010-02-16T19:58:00.000-08:00

Ok here's a list of stuff I felt like sharing with someone..

Yesterday a troop of 3 women came into my house and cleaned it. They cleaned everything. My house is clean to the point where there isn't any dust and everything in the house was wiped down. I mean it.

Today I went to the mall and went berserk. I had been holding off on going to the mall til today because today was my hair appointment and I would be there any way. More about the hair later...
First I hit the Ladies Foot Locker. I brought in my Nike's that I bought too long ago and explained that they look hardly used because I preferred to wear my sketchers which weren't meant to be worked out in because the hell on the Nike's rubbed and I have all sorts of scars on my heels just from fast walking and Zumba and what not. Also I have a wonky toe that turns in and when I wear my Nikes the toe next to it would get rubbed raw by the toenail of the wonky toe... So apparently even though I measure as an 8 and 1/2 I am supposed to go up a half size and I need shoes designed with a wide toe box. Up until today I had never heard the words toe box used together... but apparently my toe box is wide. he he he!!
Toe Box
Toe Box
Toe Box

That right there... is funny!

Anyway. After I went to the body Shop and picked up my Bath Soak. mmmmm Smells so good I want to bathe in it..... so I will!
I also got a body wash from them because I like the way it smells and no other reason at all. Hopefully I don't get a rash from it.. Not that that happens to me but usually I look at the label to see if it is going to be somehow beneficial or something. Nope I sniffed it and I bought it.

After that I went to Honolua Surf Company because I was informed that it was closing and the clothes were uber cheap... They were! I got a billabong lounging outfit for like 10 bucks and a billabong ribbed tank for like 7 bucks! And another T-shirt that says something about being kind to the ocean for like 5 bucks... I found like 4 other tops I like then I remembered I have way too many clothes already.

then off to the Hair Salon where my girl Tina trimmed off my dead ends and gave me bangs... I was feeling froggy so I leaped!. I love my hair! Rain keeps telling me I look 19... I am not so convinced of that analogy especially since I don't' know what is so specific about 19, that she picked that age. But I will take the compliment anyway. And Jennifer Says I am rockin the Betty Page thing.... hmmmm I like her alot...

Also I got new hair products and I will no longer be smelling like a disgusting wad of grape bubblegum from a tube. (remember that shit??) Yeah the TIGI Bedhead Small Talk I used smelled awful. It made my hair look so good but turned my stomach every time I used it. So I asked Tina if there is anything else I can use. She said the product I was using is unique and kind of one of a kind in it's abilities, but after she shampooed me she put in Paul Mitchell's Sculpting Mousse and this stuff called Enjoy hair and skin serum. And between the tow of those products I now smell like coconuts and oranges. And my hair looks fine... So I bought that stuff too!

When I got home the carpet cleaner dude came and I paid him and went to Pilate's class. He only charged me $90 and he did the hallway which I didn't ask him to do. When I came home my house smelled like full on soap... I love soap. He also left one of those industrial fan thinga-ma-jiggies to dry the carpets and he will pick it up tomorrow.

All in all I am one happy camper. Mike will be here Friday and I am starting to really feel like I am doing all that last minute stuff in preparation to have a husband at home again. Thursday I am getting groceries for Mike's homecoming. He snacks more than I do and he drinks more juice and I haven't been cooking big dinners all that often... I will be cooking more dinner once Mike is home.

Ok well that's it for now.
Maybe next time I blog Mike will be here and I will be fussing about something he is doing to annoy me. ;) j/k

I am late posting this... good thing I don't answer to anyone.

2010-02-15T16:58:00.001-08:00

I put all my random thoughts on a word document. just like I said I would. Looking back I know now why I am not ever going to be paid to be a profound thinker of thoughts. This is scary. And yes, I typed whatever was on my mind. As you will see when you read... I have no idea why I did this. Maybe I thought I would come up with the formula to world peace.... Sorry about this..

This week’s random thoughts…

Ok my cat is not allowed on the coffee table. It’s glass and when he gets on it he leaves puddy paw prints all over the glass than I have to clean it. I have been working on the whole not allowing him on the table for about 3 weeks. When he jumps up I snap my fingers at him and yell “No!” and he runs for his life! So Now I think I might have trained him because his new thing is to stand there staring at the coffee table. He stares at it for a good minute or so… Then he looks at me and just runs for his life!

I wonder if my Kidneys are failing. I should probably go to the doctor and find out.

I wonder if Chickens fear Super bowl Sunday the way Turkeys fear Thanksgiving. Then again we are talking about poultry with brains the size of a pea. Do they have a concept of what day it is? Do they honestly care if they live or die?

My Papaya tree made another papaya… I ate it.

My dog is wearing a diaper because she is in heat and it’s just disgusting. I am going to go get her a discount “get the dog fixed” certificate as soon as I go back to the mall which is also where one of the city halls are. Thing is ever since I put the diaper on her, Wahine just stares at me. It’s like she’s trying to tell me something.

I wonder why the kids here on this base are so bad. I don’t understand why the kids here who are 14-16 are so vulgar and violent. Why don’t these kids have active parents?

The lady at the pass and ID needs to think about beating her child… because whatever technique she’s using isn’t working.

I think Airmen in their blues are handsome… except for that guy I saw today… Dude! Do a sit up!

(At my first Zumba class)

-- Ok I should NOT have worn this underwear; it keeps climbing up my butt. I have to stand at the back of the class so I can constantly pick my wedgie.

--I am ½ Cuban and ½ Irish…. Apparently the Irish side of me showed up for class toady.

I am not a happy camper about having to be on hold. It says people are on the line with Expedia trying to deal with flights and stuff because of the weather up north… Ok well People up north, it isn’t going to stop snowing for hours yes so get off the damn phone and let me make my flight reservations!

I think I like the resort we booked on Kauai so much that I am not sure I will be leaving it..

I need to poop.

I wonder how Mike would like it if he were to find me naked only covered in strips of crispy bacon. Would he even see me?

Tuna Fish sandwiches belong on white bread… With LOTS and LOTS of mayo!

I am turning into my mother. I cry at the drop of a hat. I was watching The Sound of Music which I have seen a GA JILLION times and I cried at the scene where Captain VonTrapp comes into the room to hear the kids singing and he transforms.

I love America and I love the Olympics!!! I am so happy for The Olympic games coming. I am an uber Dork

I love Curling! If I ever move to a state where people give a crap about curling I will take up curling and go to the Olympics and you all can just not go to the Olympics… But I will be an Olympic curler… Or Maybe I will just watch…

I think it is nice to want to dedicate a day to romance. But that is the thing. It's all about hoakie chocolates and singing stuffed gorillas... If one must indulge in Valentines Day it should be done in a way that is truly about really going the extra mile to show someone you love them. As in cooking dinner together, or turning off the tv and talking. maybe reminiscing about how it was in the beginning. Now that to me is the ideal Valentines..

My friends are super awesome. I am really blessed to be surrounded by women who are here in Hawaii who have chosen to bless me with their kindness and loyalty and good natured giving spirits, but also the women who are on the mainland and in other parts of the world as well. There are a lot of good people who actually think I am pretty ok…so that makes me feel good. My Friends Rock.

I feel kinda bad about the dead louge athlete. I didn’t know him or anything but I just love the Olympics so much that stuff like that actually matters to me. So; rest in peace louge guy. But did they seriously need to show me that crash? Twice? That hurt my heart.

The doggy Diaper industry is a racket! 12 diapers for 30 bucks! But then again I would pay more to keep the ewwwwww of the furniture and carpet.

I wish I was wealthy… I would have a maid come once a week, and I would also have a shampoo bowl installed and have a professional hair stylist. Oh!!! And an Nanny!!

Scary little blog project...

2010-02-07T21:48:00.000-08:00

So for the next week I am going to try to write down all of my really random thoughts.
See since Mike is gone and I am all lacking for an actual adult conversation... I think stuff...
Sometimes I think very profound thoughts... sometimes things occur to me that I should have alrready known, but I didn't and I come up with it all by myself. i think I am smart and then I realize I am just slow.

Anyway, So far from today I have some real doozies. I hope I can stick it out for a week and post all of my magical brain farts for your entertainment. I hope you will laugh. That's the intention.
I will still blog this week if the mood strikes me to do so, but if not see you on Sunday with a weeks worth of "Holy crap! Did she just say that?"

I didn't start out planning to write so much.

2010-02-05T18:32:00.000-08:00

Ok so I am about to make a recipe I apparently haven't made since before my mom died. How do I know this? It's her recipe and my recipe card is so poorly written that if I had made it before she died I would have called her to fix my recipe card. She's been gone for over 2 years now and I almost tried to call her. That Sucks.

What else...

Oh My birthday was awesome and our anniversary was kinds awesome too. I mean it was broken since Mike was y'know.... not in the country.. but he did send me the most beautiful bouquet. He knows me so well. It was colorful. DON'T SEND ME RED ROSES... I mean not that I hate red roses... it's not that. It's just to me they're so cliche'. When Mike and I were just falling in love and he was leaving the next few days for Basic Training he had a dozen of the biggest most beautiful roses EVER sent to me. They were my first. And I did absolutely love them! And Mike was so sweet and awkward.. he ended up showing up before the roses did and hid when the flower truck showed up. I guess because he was shy. I know Mike shy... ha ha ha ha!! But I think those roses were too perfect and none have ever been as pretty or special... as far as red roses go. AAAAAnd I have also developed a love of roses of other colors. And I love love love colorful things. I also hadn't gotten flowers in a really long time.

What else. Oh my anxious self decided and then un-decided to go to college... My GI Bill Expires in 2012. And I want to get an ADA certification as a dental assistant. The Military's school isn't accredited. So since most certificate programs are 2 years I freaked and decided to interview for the assisting program at Heald College. The interview went really well and everything but there was a snag. The dental assisting program is only offered as day classes. NOT an option. The more I hear about Hawaii's public schools the more I am convinced that I have mead a great choice for Rain and Ellie.. even if we are really behind this year. We will catch up and probably be ahead of the curve (if we aren't already). So at first these pushy admissions people were looking at me like well if you can't be flexible than we don't want you... So I looked at the medical assisting program. Not actually what I want to be but at least it can be done at night and I wouldn't be wasting my GI bill right?... Well I went to Macaroni Grill with he kids and was looking over the class schedule and the possible job descriptions I just couldn't do it. I do not want to be a phlebotomist or a butt wiper nurses assistant. That is a great jumping off point but not a career... not for me. If I were say looking to become a RN or doctor than maybe I would do this in order to have work to do while I go for my RN or MD.. Like My friend Andrew who is AMAZINGLY SMART and got his CNA in HIGH SCHOOL and will be an awesome DOCTOR!!! He can go to school to be a doctor and be working in the health care field already. But that's not where I want to end up. I want to be a dental assistant... I am good at it... I like it. So I am not going to just get a degree because I should or because my benefits are running out. I just can't...
But the good news is Mike's post 9/11 GI bill can be transferred to me. So, AFTER he gets his 100% paid for while he is active duty degree and the kids are in school in hopefully a better state... (one can hope no?) I will go to a school and I will get certified and I will be a dental assistant. I no longer feel rushed. Breathe in breathe out....
Anyway I am going to try making Pisto Manchevo without a proper recipe or mom to call to help me get it right...
Approximately 2 weeks to go til Mike comes home...

hmmm what to do what to do...???

2010-01-25T19:56:00.000-08:00

Kauai "The Garden Island"
The Smallest of the four primary islands and also the oldest.
She is 5 Million Years Old. She is green nearly everywhere you look.
She is also seen as the quietest. Where Oahu is the fastest and most modern, the big island is largest and rugged, and Maui is the place for beautiful resorts.
Little Kauai... I would like to meet you.
Assuming we go on a Friday morning early and leave Saturday evening late... we can only see so much. And I am conceding that seeing and doing are two different things. For instance there is the Wailua river. This is THE place I want to see. And ideally I would love to rent a Kayak and meander up the river just Mike and I and find the Fern Grotto, a beautiful cave bedecked with hanging ferns that is accessible only by boat or kayak up the river. However this is time consuming. Kayaking up the river while perfect and private is just not an option. So I am thinking we will take the Wailua River Cruise... In this circumstance the tour takes only an hour and twenty minutes. This is the thing I want to do.... the only thing... so now we are wide open to go and see and do. But what....?
There is a bus tour... now we are NOT doing a bus tour but the itinerary for the bus tour is right up my alley.
Waimea Canyon ("the grand canyon of the pacific)
Spouting Horn.. a huge blowhole apparently a do not miss...
Opekaa Falls
and the Hanepepe Valley
And somewhere in there they also fit in the River... so if the bus can do it we can do it.
We just need to build the itinerary, rent the car, get there early in the morning, and get our butts in gear.

On the Second day I am thinking I would like to explore Princeville and Hanalei Bay. Maybe go horseback riding then Just relax on the beach of the bay then maybe wander around the town and grab lunch. Sounds kinda chill right?

We are thinking about using our hotel as base for the second day as well. It means paying for a second night and not actually using it, but to be able to go exploring and possibly get salty and sandy and have a shower to go back to before dinner and our flight home seems worth it.
Regrettably there just isn't enough time to see the Na Pali Coast. Which is supposed to be beautiful as well. But who knows. I think I will like the driving around the best. I know it seems silly but Mike and I are really happiest when we just go for a drive.

Ok now if any of you have been to Kauai and thinks we can skip something or are certain we must see something else this is a great place to mention it. I am just so stoked to be getting away.

Maika'i Kaua'i, hemolele i ka maile....

oh and I gotta wonder about this whole Menehune thing... Menehune of legend are like little hawaiian leprechauns. Most of their storiesare based out of Kauai.... the greenest island... hmmmmmm

Facebook is stupid or People are stupid... Can't seem to pick a title.

2010-01-22T12:16:00.001-08:00

So have you ever seen the T-shirt that reads "Facebook ruined my marriage"?

I think it's a hilarious t-shirt. Luckily for me the words don't ring true. While my marriage is just fine, there are some dumb as women out there who apparently don't know the first thing about how to talk to another woman's husband.

So here's a quick lesson to the dumb ass girls that Mike apparently hung out with back in the day.

A: Telling Mike you had a crush on him back in high school is fine. It's cute and apparently you wanted to get that off your chest. I had crushes on some of my FB friends back in high school too.. it's not a big deal.
-- Telling him that you wanted any part of him inside any part of you>>> NOT OK...

B: If we were friends... even aquaintences in High school and you were also friends with Mike that's fine. But if you are of the opposite sex and you only friend request Mike well that's going to lead me to a couple of conclusions... A: we weren't as good a friends as I thought. B: you're snubbing me on purpose and expect my HUSBAND to participate in the snubbing. Hello!! Mike and I have been together for 14 years. Did you actually think that would be ok? You must be inbred or something.

Ok so there's my rant.

on a brighter note Mike will be home soon. And we are planning a romantic getaway to the island of Kauai. It's is known as the garden island and has some of the most visually stunning sights in all of the Hawaian Island Chain.

I look forward to going but I also look forward to planning the trip out. Mike and I love to plan things together. And it will be fun just talking things through. And hearing what it is that interests the other.

We're also talking about having more fun around here. Just doing things that are interactive with one another. Instead of just me laying on the beach I am going to get up and toss a football with Mike or throw a frisbee with the kids. Als o Mike and I both want to cook more together. I love cooking with Mike. It's always cool when he acts as my chef's assistant. We laugh a lot!!!

Things I look forward to and things take for granted y'know?

Ellie is making great strides these last couple of weeks with therapy and her medications. I can't believe how little it takes to really help her. Rain has decided that she would like to take some art classes. This will be challenging for me to find something that will suit a nine year old Diva. but when have you known me to not do what my kids want within reason?

Oh!!! I and the Tax return this year........ (drum roll please).......almost 9700 bucks!!!! What the what?!?!?!? The only good part of a deployment for sure.

Love to all my peeps!!!

less than a month to go!!!!

New year... time for an update

2010-01-06T00:29:00.000-08:00

I know it’s been a long time since I have blogged but it’s a new year and December was full of ups and downs. While I have learned a lot in the last month I will not reflect on all if it because I am going to keep private things private. I will say that I have learned in the last month that I am way too self conscious and I have a tendency to allow bad habits and possibly even reward the offender for having them. Well that stops now. I also learned that while Oahu is beautiful and has a lot to offer, it still doesn’t replace home. Christmas time reminded me of just how utterly alone I am here and with Mike being gone, I just couldn’t get into the holiday spirit. Yes the tree went up and yes the kids got presents, but otherwise it was not festive or merry. Christmas Eve, we ate Subway for dinner and on Christmas Day I watched the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and whipped up some nachos. No fancy Christmas dinner here. I would be the only one to appreciate it. You see: the more effort and love I put into a meal the less the kids like it. So Nacho’s it was. There was a real sense that I was indeed on an island; one unto myself. And while everyone was celebrating and cooking and feasting and telling getting presents, I was watching the Lord of the Rings on my island. Well, to hell with that. Next year if Mike happens to be gone again I am taking my happy butt to the mainland so the kids and I can have a real Christmas surrounded by friends and family. That is the way it is supposed to be and I got ripped off.
Let’s see what else? Our Betta finally died. He never went belly up though. He was just kinda chillin in his place in the fishbowl and then the next day he was still chillin… only not breathing. So down the toilet he went. Meanwhile our algae eater had full reign of the tank. Good for him. We then went out and bought 3 Guppies. One was names Comet, one was Yellow Belly and the last I named Little Mike because I thought it was funny. When we got up in the morning the guppies were still there but there was no sign of our algae eater. No dead fish, no bones, just gone. He is still missing and if you see him tell him to come home. His name is Dot PP… I know… but that is the name Ellie gave him. Maybe that’s why he ran away. Well after a week yellow belly and little Mike died. And now we have a new guppy named Rough shot. He and Comet are still alive and haven’t run away. So hopefully our fish troubles are over for now.
Oh! I met Dog the Bounty Hunter… he’s a super nice guy. And Beth is super sweet as well. Glad for the experience. Glad I am not a fugitive.
I also got a sweet haircut. After the Awful one I got about a year ago I have been trying desperately to hide it with extensions or hats…. Well it grew out and it started looking mullet-ish and really frazzled. So I didn’t know what to do but I hated my hair. So I went to the salon and talked to this lady Tina who looked at it and said it needed to be reshaped and styled a different way. So she sniped off the mullet and showed me some tricks with a round brush and my straightening iron and I LOVE IT!!!! It really looks put together and longer. And it’s funny because it looks longer now even though she cut off the ugly back thing so I am thrilled about it. And I have reached my weight goal. So now it’s time to get ripped. So now you’re all updated and know what is going on. Soon Mike will be home and my life will feel normal.
Looking forward to making 2010 better.
Fin!

I figured I haven't blogged in a while.

2009-12-11T17:52:00.000-08:00

So Disney World was Awesome as was my visit home in general. I ate alot of the food I wanted to eat and discovered that in some cases I am missing nothing by being here in the Food

Department. i though I missed Sonic til I ate it again. and as much as I like the beverages the food is so greasy and gross. IN some cases I was happy to eat and eat. Blue crabs made me happy.

My Trip to Dixie Crossraods was also pleasant in the food department but unpleasant in the service department. Ahhhh Titusville. I went to visit my Mother and I left her some flowers. I saw friends and apparently made enemies as well. whoda thunk it..

And now I am back to reality...

Right now I am thinking this Christmas thing is crap and I am in a horrid mood and I am sick and I am tired and I am not getting back into the swing of things because I am bummed out and sick. And although this blog is a great place to let things go and share with people what is going on sometimes you just can't air your dirty laundry for the world and there has been so much going on in the last couple of weeks that have truly been like a giant smack down to my ego and my feelings and to my value. I would love to vent on here the problems I am dealing with but I will not do that. Just know that I am not in myhappy place right now and I am being a bit of a recluse and I am dealing with my situation in the best way I know how. Which right now doesn't consist of much. But I will pick myself up and get my head straight and fix my problems. I have already begun that process and I am now basically loking forward to February when my life will feel normal again and I won't feel so isolated.

So there's my blog for now.. Sorry it's such a bummer. I bet you all think I am bipolar. Oh well.

My Trip home thus far

2009-11-23T06:56:00.000-08:00

Ok I am going to try to recall everything but I doubt I will do this trip Justice
Lets Start with he flying home.
I was in a tizzy trying to leave for the Airport. I just kept thinking I was forgetting something. But so far all I have discovered missing was my Mascara and hairspray.. so all in all not bad.
Rain and Ellie behaved like two amazing angels as we went through security ans waited for our plane to board in Honolulu.
The Plane was Packed. But it was cool to have a TV in the seat in front of me. I watched the Time Traveller's Wife and 500 Days of Summer and The Proposal. Sleep eluded me and Rain and Ellie were so uncomfortable.
When i finally arrived home I unpacked and settled in then at 4pm Titusville time I crashed.
I woke up the next morning and drank like a whole pot of coffee and went to pick Dad up at the train station. We went out for cuban cuisine which was awful... dang I school the Mar Azul.
We went to Saint Augustine to be a part of Lauren's wedding. One of these days the pictures will be up. Lauren was a machine. She did EVERYTHING for the wedding. All but the cooking. And SHE made her cake. Just so proud to call her my best friend. She was a beautiful bride and Rain and Ellie didn't embarrass me and I looked pretty good myself. We had a blast. I cherish all of the little moments Lauren and I had that day. And I even got asked to make a speech. So I did. And I cried... but that's how I roll.
Sunday was wet and chilly in St A so we came home and I did Laundry and napped. Now I am preparing to take my children and Father To Walt Disney World. Goodbye leisurely vaykay, Hello Aching back and feet. But I heart Disney so much. I am about to have a really fun time.
Aloha!

Do a shot for each time I say Avocado!

2009-11-13T19:33:00.001-08:00

So I FINALLY GOT THE BRIDESMAID'S DRESS BACK FROM DAVIDS BRIDAL.... and it was worth the wait. it looked nice before but now it fits like a glove and I have to say I look darn pretty in it... and possibly (dare I say it?) skinny. I am pleased as puch with the overhaul the dress got. And I will be so glad not be ruining Lauren's wedding photos with my blobby self.

This is me in my dress back when I was blobby.
I'm much better now.

YAY! Also I am super stoked to be going home on Monday. It's been so so long since I've been home.
Remind me one of these days to talk about all the changes that have taken place in the Ville since I left, but now isn't the time. Gotta clear it through some folks first. But I am excited to see my friends I always see.. and to seeing people I don't usually get to see but through the magic of facebook that will happen now and I am glad for it. So many of you I haven't seen in ages and I am looking forward to seeing you at the SHAMROCK and THISTLE on the 28th...
We're Going to Disney World BTW when I get home... after the wedding... My brother is coming out for some of those days and I am super excited to see Chuck with the girls at the mouse house. It will be a hoot. And because of his mad brother skillz he will keep the kiddos for me while I go ride Everest. I haven't been on it yet and I am stoked to do it.

And I believe I am truly allergic to avocados. Remember when I swore off Taco Bell? Well it's uber bad for you and what not so I am still swearing off of it... but that doesn't mean I don't want fast Mexican food. Here we have a few options. We have Moe's and a place called Taco Del Mar and another joint called Just Tacos. I hadn't been to a Just Tacos before so I thought I would give it whirl today. Well first of all the food was overpriced and bland and I will NOT be headed over there any more. But the weird thing was about 45 minutes after eating my bland overpriced taco salad I got nauseous.. AGAIN. I swear!! ugh. Well anyway I had to think about it.. and I have deducted that I am allergic or something.... to guacamole.. or more specifically Avocados. It's the only common denominator. See, when I go to Taco Bell I get a seven layer burrito.
I love them... they have guacamole in them. And the reason I swore off taco bell was because I thought that since I had gotten my seven layer burrito fix from 2 different taco bells that it had to be some sort of aversion to their food. But Just Taco's taco salad (again bland and over priced ugh!) had a big ole scoop of guacamole on it and 45 minutes later I am thinking I might die... 2 hours later the taco salad left the way it came and now I am feeling relatively human once again. But as I laid there seeing my life flash before my eyes I did the deductive reasoning and came up with the guacamole/avocado theory. It just can't be anything else. Now the only way to truly test the theory is to go back to a Taco Bell and try say.. a bean burrito or plain taco.. and that honestly sounds gross to me. So I will just be avoiding guacamole and avocados from here on out. Which sucks because sometimes I will get a ripe avocado and just slice it up and put some olive oil and salt on it and snarf it down... and I wonder how a California roll is going to affect me since there really is so little avocado in it anyway...
but for now I am shying away from the delicious fatty protein filled little boogers.
And there you have it. Dresses Mice and Avocados.... Oh MY!!!
Hasta Luego!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------avocado. Ole'!

Halloween and Sound Effects or I'm gonna kick Mother Nature's Ass.

2009-11-03T20:46:00.000-08:00

I have been ordered to blog. This I find amazing (and flattering) since I usually don't have anything interesting to say and when it is interesting I'm bitch bitch bitching about something.

So Jennifer and Babies this one's for you... (Jenn cover thier ears)

Ok so hmmmmm

Halloween. I went as a goddess. But at the bar I was asked over and over "Just what is it you're going for?"And someone asked me if I was a Roman Empress... ok whatever I just wanted to look hot. But I digress... There were some amazing costumes. This one dude looked like a cross between Willy Wonka and The Mad Hatter...I still don't know what he was but he looked amazing. There was a Jolly Green Giant. And A Mime. There was a chick dressed as Dora the Explorer only kinda whored up. She was hott. I wish I had had my good camera when I went out but, alas it's in Iraq. So I didn't get any pictures. Next year I am going as something with more comfortable shoes and I am going to simply wander around Waikiki all night and take pictures with the other freaks. I danced my ever loving ass off Saturday.. and I didn't get wasted. As a matter of fact I barely had a drink all night. But when I woke up Sunday I was feeling hung over regardless (minus the dry heaving and stuff) Everything hurt. I felt like Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon movies... "I'm getting too old for this shit."

But I had fun.

Now lemme see what else.. oh yeah. As you all know I live in Hawaii and I love it here. Normally when someone asks me what the drawbacks to living here are I usually only say "the cost of living is redonkulous and I am FAR FAR FAR from home. Honestly I don't have a bad thing to say about it." Well many of you will be happy to know that I have discovered the utopian-ness (yeah I just said that) of Oahu has faded for me... just a bit. Saturday I mowed the lawn. It needed to be done so I did it. First of all, my mower is acting wonky (thanks Wade for the new favorite word of the moment) and I had to empty the damn bag every two passes. Annoying much??? Well on trip number 6 to the trash can a giant scary ass centipede like I swear he was huge just decided that since I was in his way, he would just go right over my foot. I wish there had been a video camera there... honestly it would be so embarassing but so funny I would post it right here. I had my right leg up and flailing while this wwuuuuuuaaaaaaaggghh!!!! sound was just coming out of my mouth! I wasn't trying to make the sound come out... it just did! And I was cussing and just freaking the hell out. I looked like I was doing the hokey pokey on speed or something!Above is an archive of an itty bitty centipede who could have easily been the centipede that crawled across my foot's lunch. The one pictured here was about 7 inches...and was a bitch to kill... But the beast that crawled across my foot was like a mutant or something!!! I swear he was 2 inches WIDE alone!!! And just kinda never ended...

When I went to the lanai to sit my weary and freaked out butt down there's insectosaurus... just chillin on my screen door. This moth easily had a 9inch wing span. I swear it looked me right in the eye! He didn't really freak me out. But, man-o-man if my brother had seen that he would have pooped himself. He doesn't like moths. I took a picture.

Now after all that I did the halloween thing and had fun. Slept most of Sunday (I will need to go to confession about missing Mass on All Saints Day) and then rolled into Monday.

Monday ws productive. I got alot of stuff done and I was cleaning stuff and teaching my smallish people stuff and moving and shakin all over town. I pulled weeds and cleaned out the car. Before I went to get the girls from Girl Scouts I turned on the sprinkler very low to water one of my flower beds. yada yada yada.... Bed time. As I usually do; I get in bed, then realize that maybe I didn't lock the car so I click the clicker. Then I climb back in bed and decide to get the coffee pot ready. Then I get in bed and remember the water is still on... (yeah it's something just like that every night) So I go out to my front yard and head over to the spigot which is completely hidden by my tri color hibuscus. And I hear a rustling behind the bush. I am thinking it's just the toad that lives in my yard... he's a beast... (whoever says everything is bigger in Texas has never been here...)But as I reach my hand into the bush to turn the spigot I hear this "rrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" type screech and this MONGOOSE pops out of the bushes like "Surprise!!!!" and goes running across the street. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

Here you see a mongoose. Cute right?!?! Not when it's going "REEEEEEEEEE" and baring it's teeth at you!! Trust me!

I crawaled back in bed and read my book for a bit then turned out the light. At 5 this morning I woke to this little tiny "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" sound and I am itching everywhere. Some damn mosquito decided to fly into my bedroom and go full on vampire on every inch of my exposed skin. My face, my scalp, my arms, one leg, my palms, my neck.... all chewed up. So at the abnormal hour of 5... which is an hour or so before I get up anyway I took some benadryl. Benadryl knocks me out. So I ended up sleeping til 10. I am so over nature right now.

Oh and today I baked pies and V Premiers in about 45 minutes!!! And just this second Rain blind folded Ellie and sent her to wander the house. Ellie just walked clean into a wall with her face. *sigh*

Oh and Jenn...I am not so easily defeated!!! ;)

Believe it or not I have happy things to say...

2009-10-16T23:57:00.000-07:00

..but first the bad stuff. For my non Facebook readers you may not know that Ellie got the flu on Tuesday and yesterday Rain followed suit. I haven't slept since Tuesday. And it looks like another looooong night of misery.
yesterday for about 9 hours the power went out. And even though I called CE and my neighbor called CE and I called CE and I called again and made nasty threats and so on.. no one came. And when the dude finally did show up he said "Dis da firs I heard abou i." (yes I spelled it like that on purpose and my kama aina will know what I am talking about) then he shot me a "shakka" and said "no worries sista we fix now"
Ok so that's the bad stuff. I could go into detail about the flu and Ellie and my total feeling of isolation. (my friends are the best.. shout out to AMY, SUE and STEVE... and to text messaging)
But yeah island life sucks when you are the only mommy to two fever riddled kids.
But I would like to say that a few things have made me smile recently.

Fresh Baked Bread makes me happy.
Phone calls make me happy.
Boar's Head lunch meats finally making it to the commissary makes me happy.
My dad makes me happy.
And exercise makes me happy.

The exercise thing is a newer development but since I haven't done any this week, I miss it which HAS got to mean something... right!?!?
Diane and Kathy make me happy. they are by far my two favorite perverts... Oh and Diane.. I'll take that finger in the butt now...

Not having electricity for any length of time makes me unhappy, but reading on the Lanai does... so I found a good thing there.

And most of all my girls make me happy. Because they are so tough and sweet and brave and they make me love them more each day. Even if I am exhausted.

I am going to go to bed now. I meant to a while back but the sick kiddos got in the way of that.

Ka moa i hânai `ia ka lâ, ua `oi ia i ka moa i hânai `ia i ka malu. Word!

colin sent me this and I liked it enough to put it in my blog.

2009-10-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

When God created the world for humankind to prosper and multiply, he decided to give each group two virtues. As an example, He made Japanese patient and hardworking, He made Germans tenacious and studious, He made Americans organized and pragmatic, and so on...When GOD considered Cubans, He told the record-keeping angel, 'Cubans are going to be Intelligent, Honest and Democrats.'When God finished creating the world, the angel noticed that God had given every group two virtues except Cubans, who had received three. The angel thought that this would give the Cubans an unfair advantage over the other groups of human beings and he pointed this out to God.God said, 'Oh, My Goodness, you are certainly right, but since virtues given by God cannot be changed, we will do the following: From now on Cubans will keep three virtues, however, they can only use two of them at a time.'This dictum explains is why:A Cuban who is a Democrat and Honest, cannot be IntelligentA Cuban who is Intelligent and Democrat, cannot be HonestAND A CUBAN WHO IS INTELLIGENT AND HONEST, CAN NEVER BE A DEMOCRATThis is why most Cubans are REPUBLICANS

Realizations.....or An Excercise in Copy and Paste.

2009-10-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

1. I've come to realize that my hair: ... is a battlefield
2. I've come to realize that when I talk: ... people become intimidated... which makes me happy (I'm so over it)
3. I've come to realize that if I make a mistake: ... that it's part of the learning process
4. I've come to realize that all I really need is: ... nevermind...
5. I've come to realize that I've lost: ...alot of the people who meant the most to me.. and I will never get tham back.
6. I've come to realize that I hate: ... stupid people/rude people/and people who don't even realize they are either stupid or rude... especially them!!!
7. I've come to realize that if I were to get drunk: ... I'd probably flash the crowd or make out with someone...
8. I've come to realize that money: ... is overrated
9. I've come to realize that when I get old: ... I will lie about my age
10. I've come to realize that I'll always be: ... mommy
11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on: ... myself
12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried: ... it didn't fix the problem
13. I've come to realize that my cell phone: ... is becoming a freakish extension of me.. like growing a third hand or something...
14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning: ... That I'm still here... the day is ripe with potential and I am going to get a bite.
15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night: ... I must have everyting just so... and then I must read
16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about: ...working out in an hour and a half
17. I've come to realize that my life: ... makes for interesting stories to say the least
18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook: ... it's my only conection to the outside world
19. I've come to realize that today I will: ... teach and clean house and well that's about it I supose
20. I've come to realize that tonight I will: ... get everything just so.. and read a book before going to sleep.
21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will: ... teach and clean house and well that's about it
22. I've come to realize that I really want: ... to keep being the best me I can possibly be...
23. I've come to realize that the people who are reading this: ... probably won't
24. I've come to realize that relationships: ... make for interesting stories
25. I've come to realize that love: ... is different for everyone. And each relatioonship has it's own dynamics.
26. I've come to realize my best guy friends: ... give a shit just as much as the girl ones...
27. I've come to realize my best girl friends: ... are a bunch of bad ass bitches and they are all my heroes...
28. I've come to realize food can: ... be the enemy or your bestie... just depends on the dose. Oh Except for Taco Bell.. That whole damn chain can just blow the hell up!!!
29: I've come to realize that this summer: ... might just be coming to an end here on the island
30. I've come to realize heartbreak: ... is real.

31. I've come to realize that my ex.... is just that.
32. I've come to realize that my sister(s): ... comes from another family, but she is as important to me as one who might have come from the same mom.
33. I've come to realize that crying: ... still doesn't fix the problem...
34. I've come to realize that death: ... needs to leave my family the fuck alone
35. I've come to realize that if I'm sick: ... the house turns to shit
36. I've come to realize when I'm bored: ...There's always Faceboook
37. I've come to realize that my sibling(s): ... is loving FB more and More... which makes me laugh...
38. I've come to realize that work: ... doesn't always yeild large dividends but can be rewarding
39. I've come to realize that family: ... is #1 on my list of stuff you don't fuck with
40. I've come to realize when I go shopping: ...I end up buying something
41. I've come to realize: ... I didn't curse or praise myself nearly enough in this one. So Fuck you and YAY ME!!!! There, that's a little better. ;)

Random Thoughts I am Having Right Now.

2009-10-03T23:04:00.000-07:00

Taco Bell is the enemy. Twice now I have attempted to eat that garbage, and twice now I have felt absolutely sick to my stomach.
So, either it is beacuse I have been eating so healthy lately that this is that place where health foodies say that once they went healthy they never went back... or the Taco Bell on Valkenburgh is trying to poison the population.

Clean homes are a good thing. I have been scrubbing and polishing today so that people who have already seen my house messy will come and hang tomorrow and not think I am a slob... ironic because like I've said they've seen it messy...

Funny text messages make me happy. Wade sent me two funny ones today. Both at these really random mundane times. And I laughed out loud right in the middle of what I was doing. The jokes themselves upon alot of scrutiny are probably lame, but when you are in the middle of grocery shopping and your phone makes a funny it's just a good thing.

Right now I really wish the contents of my stomach would find any exit... again I say.. Taco Bell is the enemy.

I like driving without the kids. Today I went to go get the evil fakey south of the border "food" and I had Eminem blaring and the top down... I love being able to blast obscenities into the sky. Poor Marshall Mathers can't come out to play very often because I am always a chauffer so that was a treat for me.

Speaking of Marshall Mathers.. he just keeps getting better looking. mmm mmm mmm.

Right now I am sitting in the dark waiting to vomit or maybe just curl up and die... both options look good currently.. ask me tomorrow and I will tell you that I was an idiot for saying that.

Right now I am changing my blog song to this one you're hearing... I like it alot.

Right now I am not caring so much about DRM protection because I have an MP3 player that is actually worth a damn again for the first time in over a month. I love my portable device.

And I'm spent. Time to do the curling up in the fetal position thing and wait this out.

Aloha!

"Sweet freedom whispered in my ear, You're a butterfly. And Butterflies are free to fly. Fly Away"

2009-09-27T00:15:00.000-07:00

Absolutely amazing Saturday.

I can't thank Sue and Daisy enough for MAKING me take advantage of "Give parents a break."

At noon today I dropped the kids off at the School Aged kids program building for 5 hours to do anything I wanted.

Sherry and I decided after some debating to go to Pearlridge mall as opposed to Ala Maona to see a movie and try out the little noodle house in the food court. We decided to see Jennifer's Body... .

But, funny thing is that we went to the noodle house and neither of us ended up getting noodles.

We both had the same thing only hers was chicken and mine was beef. Hello it's made from a cow.. I instantly prefer it. What you see there is some teriaki beef, tempura shrimp,tempurra sweet potato and tempurra zucchini. Also some green salad, pickled salad which reminded me of a mild kimchee, white rice, and miso soup. I am shocked how yummtastic this meal was. I didn't eat the rice.

But we were talking and giggling and really having a great lunch and Sherry decided we should skip the movie and that it was time to go shoe shoping. YAY!!!! SHOES!!!!!!!! We got side tracked at Fredericks of Hollywood. The Halloween costumes were out. Holy COW.. the sailor suits and the Wonder Woman costumes were insane!!! But then I was thinking I don't have giant Gold boots to be Wonder Woman... Never mind that the bottom was made out of hot pants... hee hee really cute hot pants!!! So we looked at all their stuff and then ended up at Charolette Rousse and they were having a SHOE SALE!!!! Buy 1 pair get the next for 10 bucks... oh it's so on!!!

Ok so I picked out a couple of sweet pairs of shoes.

God I think I tried on every pair of shoes there and apparently I have mad strutting talent. Apparently I work the heels "like a real hooker" My response... "thanks" I was basically drunk with giddyness.

We then wandered to the price busters looking for Halloween costumes. We found these two bunny outfits. One in black and one in white.. we almost bought them but then we discovered that we would have to get the leotards seperately. So Then we said where can we find bunny outfits that are all put together??? hmmm... SPENCERS!!!!

Off we zip over to Spencers to see what they have going on. Oh man the bunnies went right out the window... First she was going to be a devil and I an angel but we couldn't find the corresponding angel outfit. So then she was going to be the cop and I the criminal.. then we were undecided. But Sherry really loved the devil costume. And she kept going back to it. But I couldn't find an angel... boo... Well now what the hell do we do? Then I see it... Goddess!!! So she's going as Hades and I a goddess. Holy Moley,the outfits are tiny! But I got a bonus.. more shoes!!!! I ended up getting these 2inch gold heels that buckle 6 times up my leg... very greek goddess... Holy cow. Waikiki look out.... it's about to get crazy. I am pretty sure I am pulling an all nighter!!!

So we were decided and we went home. Sherry made me try on my outfit... We talked and drank some blue hawaiian wine coolers and laughed our butts off at the future plans we were making.

When I got the kids back I took them to Burger King... I'm always a hero when I get BK. Go me!!! And the girls and I played Wii Sports Resort for a while and then I turned on my No Doubt and cleaned the kitchen and dining room... A clean kitchen refreshes me. So now I am all finished and I had to share about the shoes... And I am just so happy to have gotten out of the house and acted silly.

Sometimes all someone needs is a litttle Sweet Freedom...

Going to chill and read a book.

Aloha!

Look at the big brain on Brad.

2009-09-25T12:23:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share that for the first time in a very long time last night I was actually complimented on my expanded vocablulary. And I was complemented on my use of language in my every day conversation. I was told I add inteligence to the mundane. Good to know... for a change.
It's just me bieng me when I use words like antithesis or requiem... deal with it.
And yes I can even manage to throw "Shit and Hell and Crap in there too." I am a verbal dynamo... ;) I perfer to be well rounded.
I think if I can quote myself correctly as I was speaking of an individual from highschool that I hated...Just talking about old wounds...and people who we would have preferred had gone to another school.. (No one who is reading this I assume.. and if you are out there reading GO TO HELL) but anyway.. I think I said To Sherry that "she made it her mission to be the fucking antithesis to my hapiness in that place"
Yes I said "fucking antithesis" Sherry busts out laughing and says "you just went dumb and brilliant in one breath" My response? "Hey- That's how I roll"

In 2006 I went to Vegas. And for whatever reason my hotel room was where all the kool kids hung out. IDK... I'm not that much fun... But for some reason Jeopardy was in my room any evening that we weren't on the strip.
So it's college Jeopardy and I knew all the answers that week. (my bad for reading books) And I wasn't the only one calling out answers.. I was just the only one who got them all right.. and besides it's College Jeopardy not the scary grown ups version. Anyway one of the kool kids busts out all upset. Asking me if I am always that way... And "why I don't go to college with my big brain and leave the inferior people to their TV game show." I told her to "get the hell out of my room because her big fat ass and my big brain couldn't both fit.

Does intelligence intimidate? Why do people take it personally when people exhibit their intelligence. Then again I suspect from time to time very intelligent people prefer to dumb it down. Why? I have no idea. The offended party is a registered nurse. Obviously she has a brain in her head. Why hide it?
Why in the hell do people associate with me if I make them feel inferior?
Sherry being Sherry tells me that it's the total package concept. I take care of my looks, I bust my ass with my kids and I take joy in teaching and sharing my knowledge with others. People don't like the total package... yet another flagrant compliment... if I didn't know better I would think she's trying to seduce me... ;) She knows exactly how to inflate my ego. Just tell me I am beauty and Brains... GOTTA LOVE IT!
I am not a rhode scholar. I choose not to be because I hate pressure.Well that and the fact that Just because I like to learn doesn't mean I can regurgitate it or apply it to anything other that conversation. I Audit college classes whenever I can so I can learn. Not so I can be successful. It's my personal obligation to myself to absorb as much about the world as I can. What is wrong with wanting to know things?
This planet is so full of amazing concepts and potential. History fascinates me, as does religion. Then again so does horticulture and medicine.
I take pleasure from going to the botanical gardens for instance and learning the names of the plants. People are always asking me how to take care of their plants or what is that tree over there. It makes me proud to say I can differenitate between a Christmas Palm, a Princess Palm and a Cuban Royal Palm. (to most people useless information to me it's knowledge)
I learned the other day that the Hawaiian Monkey Pod Tree is called a Mimmosa in Airzona and Mexico. And I logged that as another tidbit of (to me ) very cool information.
I don't know where I am going with this except that last night I felt good knowing that I don't ALWAYS piss people when I talk and apparently our talk last night was "refreshing"
That's is all I've got today. I am about to go get my tan on. Time to read and just chill while the itty bitty waves lapp at my toes.

“A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times” --Sanskrit Proverb

Thursday Checklist

2009-09-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

Wake up-
Drink coffee-
Check my FB news Feed-
Respond to E-mails-
Get dressed and brush teeth and hair-
Go to work out.. hope Ellie doesn't do something stupid-
have an EXCELLENT Piyo class-
Have even more excellent Drums Alive Class-
Take Kids home-
Decide I need a Gatorade-
Open Fridge-
No Gatorade-
Take Electra to the Shoppette for Gatorade-
Leave the Shoppette-
nearly Get creamed by stupid speeding Fed Ex Bastard-
hit the curb-
Triple lindy-
Bleed-
Cuss out Fed Ex guy-
Inventory of Bike not damaged... my basket is smooshed though-
Go home and shower-
Do an inventory for bodily damage-
--Bruises every where, road rash all over right knee (Surgery knee) Broken caplilaries on left ass cheek. Hands all stinging.
Try to figure out how I can jack up my right knee and left butt cheek.-(Still working on that)
Realize that there's blood all over my cross trainers and the carpet-
Add Ace bandage to todays outfit-
Get Peroxide-
Clean Sneaks and Carpet-
Go to the CDC to register kids for give parents a break-
Try to figure out how to spend 5 hours alone... (I think I want to go to waikiki and surf....Halleluia!!!)
Relish in the future bliss
Administer Math Test-
Blog-
Go back to CDC to Actually register for Give Parents a break...
Veg Out-

Aloha.

my thumbs hurt...

2009-09-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

Wow this is a record week for text messaging. Insane amount of typing... yesterday I was texting 4 people at the same time. And you know how I can get... if you know me at all you know what I'm talking about here... I am relavent when necessary and if the opporotunity comes up to throw a cheeky inuendo your way it happens. All my FB peeps rolled with the coconuts thing... When JJ mentioned that my Coconuts were amazing but her oranges were pretty good too.. I had to throw it back that they were indeed mighty mighty juicy. Stuff like that.

so I got 4 ppl texting me at the same time and I had to keep it straight what to say to whom hoping the right thing went to the right ppl. Kinda funny. I had to go back over my TXT history just to make sure I was making any sense to anyone... I'm apparently a multi tasker... I kept every response with the right person.

Speaking of my coconuts... they're still on the tree. I just know the tree trimmer is going to roll up today while I am out and about... That's how they roll... If the harvestable Coconuts aren't at my door when I get home and my tree is bare... oh you just don't even want to be around me... I have cakes to bake and well these are MY Freaking COCONUTS.. grow you own coconuts...

Blurgh!! And speaking of grow your own.. My Papaya's are covered in fruit... going to be a delicious nutritious winter harvest.

The wedding plans are coming together nicely. Lauren is going to be stunning. When isn't she?

But I am just looking forward to being home and seeing so many of you. Don't forget November 28th Shamrock and Thistle... Be there... It's time for some drunken Karaoke...

Tonight I am going to a dinner where the kiddos are going to receive little medals for always having a parent that is deployed or on Remote Tours. God knows Rain and Ellie should have a shadow box made for these things.. They really are getting quite a large collection of these little buggers. But hey it's a free dinner. ;)

And I bet I know the Menu... Luau food. I expect Kalua Pig, and Chicken Long rice and sweet potatoes, rice and of course the haupia...

I will eat... Love me some luau food. But should I gorge myself on the diner food or save myself for the white creamy delicious..........

haupia.. See I can't help myself.

okey dokey well I am off to go do the crazy Wednesday thing...

Bring it!!

Ua ola no i ka pane a ke aloha.

Word!

not really interesting...

2009-09-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

Sunday. Not alot going on.

Saturday was fun... I bought shoes too damn many shoes. I have issues... or the way Rain says it is "Mommy you is iiiiiSHOES...

LOL So yeah this is more a blog because I am bored.

A Facebook friend of mine posted this really cute picture of her and her firends FABULOUS shoes.

I have a LOVE for pretty shoes. It doesn't matter how much they hurt my feet. And it also doesn't matter if I have "black shoes" to go with this outfit and with another. If I get a new outfit or if it's a special occasion than I get new shoes. The taller the better. Now this is a new obsession, but I have a closet just for shoes and it's getting cramped.

I have flip flops in many many different colors. I have yellow ones for instance that I only wear with my yellow Beatles T-shirt that I got in Vegas. 1 pair of shoes for one t-shirt... pink ones to go with the pink blouses and white to go with white. Teal to go with Teal... My Chunky White Reefs bit the dust the other day... Had to get new white ones.

Oh and I don't care about the designer. *gasp* I know... Carrie Bradshaw is just hyperventilating over that statement....

Really.. I am actually happiest with the shoes that look like designer shoes but are knock offs.

My Dr.Martens cost a pretty penny back in the day. They're still holding strong so I haven't ever tried to replace them. What are they running now? I paid well over 200 dollars for those bad boys... But I do love them.

So here they are people my favorite shoes... These aren't all my shoes... just my faves along with my new purchases.

I bought these years ago for a dinner cruise... I love the sparkly inner soles ...

I found these at Charolette Russe after seeing identical red satin shoes online by some big name designer for like 300 dollars. I wasn't going to pay 300 bucks for anything with that little substance... but they are fabulous. The bows in the back ate hott and they make me happy.

I love these brown suede Mary Janes. I wish my camera was of a higher quality... I love the little details in these shoes. And Yes I can walk in them... For pete sake!

These I bought to go with the same dress I wore to that dinner cruise. Only this time I wore the dress and THESE fun shoes to Mike's NCO Academy graduation.

These Are my new white flippy floppies. And the little white hearts? yeah they're silver glitter... eeek I KNOW!!!!

And These are my Roxy Boots. I don't get to wear them here much.. they hurt my feet but I love the look of them.

My White Mary Janes.. These are classy...

They go with alot of things... And they're... well.. classy.

This was the beginning of my obsession with shoes. I loved them and as plain and classy as they were I received so many compliments on my taste and I loved them on my feet with their little rounded toe.. I heart you EBAY Shoes!!

These are Iisac Mizrahi's Yes they're designer... but they're hand me downs...

So there...

These are brand spankin new... Gonna be my Betty Boop shoes...Yes I know I already have a pair of FABULOUS red satin shoes... apparently that wasn't enough.

my hooker shoes...nuff said...

4 inch patent leather oxfords....

my platform sandals... heavy as hell...

my brand new brown suede boots.

My FMB's I got these for whe I turned 21

adee ba dee ba dee..

That's all folks.

Lil

Thunderbirds are Go!

2009-09-19T11:00:00.001-07:00

So last night I was treated by Amy to an afternnon sans kids. To this end I got a pedicure and man oh man did my little piggies need the lovin!
I went back to Amy's and had her "Amy's Damn Goos Bashetti Sauce"... I am glad to report to all of our mutual FB friends that she's not a BSer... It was tasty...
We talked about stuff and I got a hand me down Bathing suit from her. I still haven't tried it on... Kinda Scared... Have you seen Amy? she's an itty bitty thing... and even if she doesn't want to admit it there ain't nothing wrong with her body...
But I digress... I haven't tried it on because the last time I got a suit from a friend (Lar Lar) I loved it immediately and the bottom was hott... an the top? Oh... Well I was spilling out of it.
Now I know I rock the clevage department.. but this was a bit more than clevage.. this was a sad state of affairs.
Mind you this was before the lift so my giant empty tube socks were just awful in this top and not flattering and well just sad.
So you say to me "Lil, you've had the girls put back together again so don't sweat it... just go try this thing on!"
I hate dissapointment though. I am losing weight and toning up nicely but (and don't get me wrong I love my boobies) I have to buy Extra large tops so I can squish these bad girls into them... and even though I am a size 6 the tops are a whole other story... I can't even shop at Victoria's Secret. Do you want to know the secret? The secret is they don't make CUTE bras for women who are stacked... So I have to Shop at Fredericks for cute stuff. And Admittedly their prescence actually IN the mall here as opposed to the catalog makes me have a joygasm.(Cindy your word is now my word.. I heart that one and I was just looking for an excuse to use it.)
Now here I sit blogging instead of trying on the bathing suit. Mostly because I like it and I don't need a repeat of 3 years ago. I'm on the edge people.. don't need to add dissapointment to my list of crap.

Now I wanted to say to al the people who read the last post entitled "Just Wait For Tomorrow I guess That's What They All Say.. Just Before They Fall Apart"
Thanks you for being an ear. So many differing opinions on this one. Those who posted comments and inboxed me were all very kind and lifted me up. Although I can't hang out with ALL of you I like having a cyber shoulder to lean on. And to my local peeps (Amy in particular) I was scared that I would make your friendship look as though I didn't value it but you understood that there are circles of friends in this military wife life from every duty station and loving a group from one doesn't take away from the next. (Amy did I get that right?) ;)

To Sue... your books and your friendship mean the world to me...

Daisy Umpingco stopped by yesterday. She is our unit's new Key spouse. And apparently my little nervous breakdown at the actual community center was alot worse than I thought. There was a lady there who knew that I knew Daisy and in the middle of my tirade called her and told her I needed SOMETHING STAT. And When Daisy Left I had everything I needed to get through the rest of this... Give Parent's a break worksheets and Deployed spouses dinner applications and a shoulder to cry on too. I also ended up just almost kinda crying at Amy's last night. Shaky voice stinging eyes...

And For the record Amy... Yes if I do this again and you show up with liquor and a chick flick... it's more than ok...There is no wrong way to be a friend though.. you gave me a smile and a little break yesterday and it was great!

Maybe it's the volume of these things that is getting to me... or I am getting older. Mike went away the first couple of times and it was nothing. I cried the day he left and didn't bother to get upset about it afterwards. I thought this was my pattern. He went to Korea and it didn't even phase me. I missed him (duh) but I wasn't such a mess.
It's been the subsequesnt deployments since my mother has passed away that have been really terrible. I'm a mess.

After Mom passed I was diagnosed with PTSD... and that was the reason for the nightmares and the constant axiety and crying that went along with losing a parent the way I did. And I didn't even have the roughest part (unless you count taking care of my dad as rough). My brother Went through a personal hell for our family and as far as I can tell he's keeping it together pretty well. So Here I am wondering if it's time to go back to the shrinky dink and get back on the Zoloft.

Wanna know what sucks? Russian Roulette. That's what I feel like it is. Every time they send Mike out it just another spin of the chamber and a *click*. How many more spins does he have? And DO NOT tell me not to think that way... because it doesn't help anything. I already know I am not supposed to think that way. Hello having some minor issues!

Now today is the Air Show. I detest Air Shows. I love to watch the Airplanes flying around but I don't like sitting out on the flight line in the blistering heat and looking up at the sun all freaking day. On the Other hand.. Hey Titusvillians... does TICO still have it's little Air Show? haha
I remember hangiing out outside my parents house and Lauren's house watching the Airplanes and jets fly over my old neighborhood.
And After Yesterday's rehersal from the Thunderbirds. I am pretty sure I will see plenty from my back yard if I so choose.
On the Other hand Sherry hasn't been to Ala Moana yet and I need some Halter Tops... Maybe while the rest of Oahu is here I should go out into town and get my shop on.... Maybe all I need is a little retail Therapy...

Ok ok I am going to try on the suit.
Maybe the next blog will be about truimph over low self esteem...

Aloha

"Just Wait For Tomorrow.. I guess that's what they all say... Just before they fall apart"

2009-09-17T15:28:00.000-07:00

*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer* Disclaimer*Disclaimer*

For my Four friends that I have here on the island.. don't take this personally; like I think you aren't good friends to me because that isn't it...not even a little bit. This is me having a bad day. Nothing more. .This is my problem not yours... Having you in my life is a good thing and I am grateful for it... ( that was me coviering my ass after realizing that the typed word can be seen as offensive if not clarified... see? I am doing better) I heart all four of you... And I am ranting and raving and this isn't directed at anyone... This is me releasing alot of shit onto my blog.
Ok so we're good?
*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*Disclaimer*

Moving on to the actual Blog now..

How many of my FB friends remember my question... What is it that is so bad about mediocrity?
The other day I was told I am super mom.
I don't want that Title.
It's a burden.
It's alot to live up to.
And I am pretty sure I am a miserable failure and should have the title stripped and my cape taken away.
I know why I do what I do and I know love is the reaon. But I am just so tired and I am going to admit out loud that I miss my life in Georgia. I miss my Jamie and My Marianne my Gretchen my Shauna my Erica and even my Kim. (Kim knows why I said that but the love is back.. no worries..)
I didn't have to go it alone. For all the hatred I had for the area...I cherish those women and their ability to see me and feel me drive up to my house spontaneously, cook with me, and bring me mocha Lattes... just because... Miss you!!! Lots!!!
I miss Mike. I miss dual parenting. I did the homescholing during the day and I could go work out or get coffees or veg out in the evenings and he took over the parenting responsibilities.

ok
So yes I am having a pity party..
I guess I should get to why today I am feeling low. Sometimes all it takes is a trigger and the world goes to shit... at least for a day.
I don't have alot going for me here. I work out and I drop in on my friends and that's about it. No more surfing til the spring when Mike comes home and I can go out on the ocean alone..I hate imposing on people " Hey can you keep my kids while I go ride waves at sunset?" (Kinda selfish and I don't want to be the assbag needy friend. ) So I just chug along... I really hate admitting defeat. but I am.. I am stuck...
Normally in my life if I had a gym class or needed a pedicure or needed goceries for pete sake; Mike kept the kids. There it is... and while Mike was gone at least at Robins we had the kid friendly room at he gym ANYWAYS... obviously I am attending the classes at the community center that permit children in the room. Hickam's actual gym doesn't have a kid room like Robins did. And being the brilliant person I am I make sure the kids take their school work that they can do independantly. Spelling and Math (if there isn't a new concept) reading, and sometimes handwriting... if it's a second day on the same lesson.
Today I was less than brillliant because I trusted my kids to obey. (dumbass)
I believed that if I made myself perfectly clear that nothing would go wrong. (dumbass)
Today Rain and Ellie had to build their spelling flash cards. This involves a marker and 3X5 cards. Their job is to go down their lists and write each word on a seperate card for review prior to Friday's test and to have as a review for later. I looked directly at Ellie prior to my PIYO class and held her cheeks in my hand and I asked her "Is this table yours?" -- "no" Do we draw on tables?"--- "no" "Well then Ellie I expect you to do your flashcards and be extra careful not to get any marker on the table and NO drawing on the tables what so ever... Am I clear?"--- "yes ma'am"... yeah pretty sure I was covered with that... but I am aparently a parenting idiot or I missed the memo this morning about Ellie losing her mind.
When I finished up with the PIYO and Drum class I went to gather up their things and there it is... a big BLACK smiley face on the community center table. I was fairly certain I had tears streaming out of my eyes. As I railed and ranted and scrubed with alcohol and paper towels until the happy face faded and we were told that by the community center lady that if anything like this happens again I will responsible to pay to replace the table and the kids would not be welcome back.
This has never happened to me in my life. Most of you who know me know I don't allow bullshit in my home. AND ESPECIALLY in someone elses home or in a public setting.
This was not only the stupidest thing Ellie has done, but also the first time that I can remember that Ellie outwardly DISOBEYED me... after being told precisely to not draw on the table... she did. I am not much for spanking.. but I had to restrain myself... I felt like Homer Simpson wanting to grab Bart by the throat...
And I can't bitch to Mike and I can't keep showing up on people's doorsteps seeking companionship and understanding. I feel like a burden and an imposition and I don't like to be a user of people... I don't ever want to make the impression that I only have these people in my life so I can use them as baby sitters and favor doers.

I am sitting here and I am just typing and the screen is blurry from my tears and I just don't know what the hell I am supposed to do.
I wish I could drive home and be with my Lar Lar and Rick Man... and I already know that after Jen reads this she will call... which is always so great... (Yes Jennifer I am acknowledging the suck...)
I hate myself when I get like this... No one likes a whiner and no one likes it when someone has a pity party. I am sick of me too... I bet half of you are annoyed by my whining and are thinking "Suck it up blah blah blah"... and "this is the life you chose blah blah blah..." There are lots of women who have dealt with multiple deploymentsblah blah blah" and "you are strong and blah blah blah..." Well Fuck that. I am on an island in the middle of the fucking ocean and I am feelling like a wuss and a failure and I can't believe I have 5 months to go... and I have to make it through the 4th Christmas without my husband.
So there it is..
Why can't I be an alcoholic like the rest of my family? Why do I chose to not deaden the pain? Here I sit sober.
I am feeling the urge to run away from this... dissapear and hope the house doesn't burn down while I am gone..
and maybe when I get back my life will be back to normal.
But then again Mike is the only freaking qualified 3C0 TSGT in the ENTIRE GoshDamn AIR FORCE worth deploying so my normal life is just a mirage and is temporary.
I am so mad and sad and pathetic.
Suck it up super mom... the kids still need their History lesson and need to be taught how to write cursive "e"--

And here's some advice... if you think sobbing in the shower is cathartic... it is... until you realize you need to blow your nose.

Sorry about this...
Lil

"It was twenty years ago today, Sgt Pepper taught his band to play.."

2009-09-16T12:58:00.000-07:00

This picture here is the Album cover to the White album.. just in case you've never seen it... More about that later...

So I ended the internal debate I was having with myself and on Sunday I bought Rockband The Beatles. I took a risk IMO because I never got an answer from NYKO the creators of my third party music controller and I wasn't sure if I would be able to play it. And I didn't need a 60 dollar paperweight... I wanted to PLAY!!!!.

But the cool dude at the game stop assured me that if compatibility was indeed an issue. He would give me full credit back for the game even if it was opened. (Thank you cool dude).

Anyway.. It worked. And I played the ever loving crap out of that game. I started playing around 2PM Sunday and by Monday morning I beat the game and collected all the prizes and photographs and unlocked all the extra songs and what not....

Just to let you know.. if you are a fan of the Beatles as I so completely am then this game is a wet dream come true. The Abbey Road segments spanning 1965-1969 are absolutely graphically insane. I thought I was going to pass out when Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band came on. I was squealing and freaking out... And yet still managed to get 99% notes hit.

It always helps when you have a decent sense of rhythm and KNOW EVERY SONG ON THE CATALOG... yeah it's kinda an unfair advantage.

I am now about to attempt to Channel the ghost of John Lennon andtake my mad Skillz into the online world and school some people...

Ok off that... I am sure you are all so interested in my sick obsession... Oh wait... 2 more things...

I will be getting myself the remastered collection. I would be stupid not to. And at Borders right now there are some cute memorabilia things to include a purse decorated with the Sgt Pepper's Album Cover.( want it) and Puzzles. Rain thinks it would be a cruel and unusual joke to play if I bought one of the puzzles. It's a 1000 piece puzzle of The White Album... HAHA.(see above) 1000 white pieces of cardboard and nothing else to really go by... I think it would be hilarious to tell someone "here you go.. 1000 puzzle pieces that are all just white."

Ok Moving on.

It turns out Sherry and I have the same brain... watch out world... it's about to get stoopid on Oahu..

And I have lost the first 8 pounds on my 18 pound mission. Duh! Diet and exercises... whoda thunk it!

And although I love my curvy physique I have an ulterior motive behind this weight loss. Beyond the fact that I have decided that I want to have a higher bum and some more muscle definition... the food on the mainland beckons. I wants me some Sonic and some Carabbas and lots of Blue Swimmer Crabs. And since I have PCOS I can gain weight 3X faster then lose it. Hell I have actually gained a pound after eating a large slice of choloclate cake.(Stupid hormones!!) and I plan on EATING in November.. So I almost guarantee you that my 3 weeks in FL I'll put on 10 pounds. Sooooo I needed to lose 10 to be really happy with myself and I only have 2 to go... but the extra 10 is just like a cushion... because it will be back...(can you say eating disorder???)

Oahu just isn't the same without Mike. He loves to explore this place as much as I do... and it's daunting to think about going out on my board whilst the kids just stay on the sand unsupervised to get kidnapped or molested or worse. And I am sad because the southern summer swells are starting to fade as the winter Northern giant scary waves begin to come... it won't be long before Waimea bay and Sharks cove will be reDONKulously dangerous and my favorite spots will be just a spring dream. And seeing as how I can't take a soak in the ocean right now anyway because of the fresh ink... I am missing my Ocean...

And I wish I could say I love the ocean because I am an Aurarius... hello?!?!? Aqua being the root word in Aquarius... but for some dumb reason Aquarius is an Air sign... go figure that!

Oh and I have been informed that My Tattoo although in the right location is too big to be qualified as a Tramp Stamp. That's good to know... I guess...

Here's my ink after a little over a week...

Toodles....

PS don't get all excited that isn't even enough crack to get all in a huff over... Just wait til my Boudouir shoot in October... then you may want to hide the kiddos...

Smooches and Aloha!

Triple W

2009-09-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

The triple W stands for
What a Weird Week.

Monday-
I woke up and put the futon up for sale. 10 minutes later I got a phone call. Some lady wants it and will be by in an hour. I told her t wait 2 hours because I wanted to vacuum the mattress and wash the cover. don't want to sell my kids goobers along with the futon. Well the 2 hours turned into 7. Waiting for this lady to show up. Meanwhile the Seminoles are playing Miami and it didn't go the way I had hoped but hey there's always the next game. And as far as I know the game didn't come down to wide right or wide left, so at least that cliche didn't stand... Tell me if I am wrong on that one because I missed the 4th quarter helping the lady put the futon on the truck.
Ok now in the middle of this I started my purple sweet potato casserole. Which consisted of Okinawan sweet potatoes pineapple brown sugar and butter. I went to get my stand mixer and My pretty fruit trivet fell corner down directly on the middle of my right foot. I swear it hurts so bad i though I could feel it in my chest. So I am hobbling around and the lady shows up for the futon and the Noles lose. I went to the Bx after the futon was gone to get kitty litter and lotion. got the lotion but had to go to the commissary for the litter. Decided I was too hungry to wait for the casserole and corned beef to finish cooking and ate sandwiches.
Tuesday-
My foot was killing me and it wasn't black and blue. Now I have a thing about pain. I feel like a wuss if I am complaining about pain and have nothing to show for it. My foot wasn't bruised but felt like I really jacked it up. I was embarassed to hobble with no bruises but oh well. So I hobbled over to the GNC for some supplements and ran into Daisy. (Daisy is a cool Kat).... And I mentioned to her that I could use some help moving my kids rooms around and if her hubby was available this weekend I would really appreciate it. I told her I needed a little time because my foot is jacked so I can't get the rooms ready for the actual move for a while. She told me she would talk to Sgt Walker because in situations where the spouse is deployed the squadron will help me out. I told her cool and left. I got home and decided to post a request to my Hawaii FB peeps too... I figure the more the merrier. Then I sat around with Ice on my foot and vegged out. I hate vegging out to be honest. I swear the mess in the house will actual multiply magically if I am laid up. At 2pm decided that since I am chilling I should just take a nap. No sooner do I close my eyes and the phone rings. The squadron is sending 2 dudes to my house at 3 to help me move. Like in an hour. I tried to tell them I wasn't ready but twere kinda insistent. The best part was they said that they heard I hurt my foot moving furniture and now needed help. Ever play that game telephone as a kid?) So the superfriends were on the way... I scrambled cussing and screaming and hobbling around for that hour.. trying against all hope to make the rooms ready for this. EPIC FAIL... My Foot looked like it had a lemon growing off the top of my skin.... Ok maybe a kumquat...well at lest now I had proof to go with the pain... But IAnyhway the furniture was moved and Ellie has a new room. I was hot and tired and kinda upset by the days events and posted on my Facebook "Whatever!, At least Mike's squadron came through and helped me move the furniture." Well I wasn't exactly thinking right and really should have chosen my words MUCH more carefully because I offended a few friends who really never got a chance to reply or offer to help. (sorry about that) I felt like an ass. I Ate the casserole and corned beef from the night before. Took 2 Tylenol PM and Iced my foot til I disappeared into sleepy dreamland. Oh and I am not gong to spill all the Koolaid but also on Tuesday Mike and I got into a minor fight... It was nothing really but it added to the shit list.
Wednesday-
Same Ole Same Ole... We did school in the morning. I kept the ice on my foot and went to Wahiwa and the kids went to tween time to make arts and crafts.
Thursday-
I woke up and the swelling and pain were practically gone and so was all of the information on my computer... (Brilliant!!) Everything I had is just* poof!* I did a system restore and un poofed it and then I decided to go to PIYO and Drums Alive. I love Drums Alive and I have decided to try to never miss a class as long as I live here.
I was offended by a comment someone left about a comment I had made on a FB post. But After a very small chat with the original poster I agreed that it really wasn't that big a deal. Meanwhile someone else read it too and decided it would be a good idea to stick up for me... And I hate internet fights.. so I start deleting everything everywhere and trying to do damage control. It all worked out and I must admit that even though things were said and what not.. I have some amazing friends who have my back no matter what... SO I am not upset over this thing and sometimes without the use of inflection comments on Facebook can be taken the wrong way. And I am pretty sure sarcasm can sound pretty ugly.. so I will avoid it... and if I do use it I will be sure to put a j/k or something so I don't hurt any ones feelings. I went to Waikiki (street side) to go shopping for accessories for Lauren's wedding and I took Sherry (the chick from basic training who thinks I have a great rack... see post entitled I Got it Going On!!) And had a blast. She is neato cheeto and I am pretty sure the next 3 years are about to bring some wild ass parties... Potential... ah sweet potential. She and I have so much in common. Our damage is the same and we are both vain and narcissistic.... And we are both very chatty. I am scared for the people who have us both in the same room. Between the two of us we will suck all of the air right out of a room... We're going to be unstoppable... I think I will heart her.
Friday-
Today 9-11-09
NEVER FORGET...
I got up and did my coffee facebook thing, took a shower and took off for parts all over base. First stop Post office then to Amy's where we had a nice chat and Bubba's laugh made my heart bubble over... And then I found out that my hubby who hasn't talked to me since our very insignificant fight has chimed in on the whole post from Thursday thing. (panic!!) He doesn't get to FB often so I guess he reads everything in the news feed. He left comments everywhere and also made a nice status update about coming home to his beautiful lady... (that's me suckas!!!)and he's gonna be a hero & stick up for me on that post. ( I do love that man o mine) Now I hadn't read what he wrote and my wonderful hubby can be a real prick when he is upset;so my heart is pounding in my chest and I am all flummoxed over this thing all over again... So I ask Amy if he cussed or said anything mean... and the verdict was apparently not... So I didn't rush home and put something under it. And I am actually proud of Mike for his restraint. And honestly... it's nice knowing that people out there will stick up for me... I feel very blessed by my friends and family. And I Hope this whole thing is over.
Now I am going to administer a spelling test and maybe clean up the living room. And do the dishes. Then I am going to hopefully do absolutely nothing for the remainder of the day and watch to see if the self replicating garbage shows up... I'll let you know...
------- Side note
If you do piss me off (for the record) I will probably say something myself. And I won't beat about the bush with it. I will tell you you suck or to eat shit, or you hurt my feelings... But I won't do it publicly... especially if I consider you a friend... Now Internet strangers are another story and I have no couth tact or restraint with those people and they offend me or piss me off say it loud and I say it proud. Ask Marty... I am a real super bitch when the need arises.
---- note to self:
---Chill Bitch It's just Facebook---

My Week With John, Paul, George, and Ringo

2009-09-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

;)
What have I done since my last Blog....?

What is it I can remember.?

Oviously I am having a minor attack of Beatlemania... they're everywhere this week and I love them so much. so for me... it's all good... Not everyone of my generation has an appreciation for them and I wonder about the next and the next. In Rock and Roll history they were inventive and innovative. And I think the songs are great. I posted a facebook status earlier that I will repeat here because here I can elaborate. And that's where my head is right now. This is a list of the albums being released in the remastered limited edition boxed set coming out 9.9.09, the songs I love off those albums and any little memories these songs hold for me.

Please Please Me - Ugh I hate this story... My mom had the original Vinyl of this album and it was stored in the garage and in the 80's she threw it away!!!! Are you kidding me?!?!?! there goes a lot of moo lah. she should have tried to sell it when Lennon was shot... people don't think... This album contains The title track along with I saw Her Standing There. Love Me Do, PS I love You, Twist and Shout... And my All time favorite old Beatles Song Do you want to know a Secret?.. *I Love Love Love the Doo Daa doo's ( Alvin and the Chipmunks made a really bad ass cover of this song back in the day and I listened to it over and over)You should be hearing this song as you read...

With the Beatles- this album has a couple of goodies... ones commonly known are Money That's What I want and one of the sweetest songs ever.. Til there was you...

A Hard Day’s Night- Along with the Title Track this album has songs like And I love her and Can't Buy Me Love

Beatles for Sale- I don't know about this album, but it has tracks Mr Moonlight and Rock and Roll Music. *Story Time!.. Rock and Roll Music was one of the songs covered by the Strings And Things Sound Machine... This and Twist and Shout were the first Beatles songs I ever knew all of the words to...
And Beatles For sale also has another of my Favorites Eight Days a Week. ("OOOh I need your love girl yes you know it's true hope you need my love girl just like I need you...love me, hold me, love me, hold me.. I ain't got nothing but love babe Eight days a week.")*Story time-- when Rain was born the Beatles 1 came out and I bought it and would rock Rain to sleep to Eight Days a Week on her fussier spells.
Help! -Cute as a button movie and You're gonna Lose that Girl.. what a neat song. Along with Help! which is one of my faves.

Rubber Soul- Baby You can Drive My Car! Love it and Nowhere Man... My gosh... this was right around the time the Beatles stopped touring and they were able to focus on writing so sometimes it got deep.They performed Nowhere man at Shea Stadium. their last big concert...

Revolver-Holy Crap I love Revolver!!! Elanor Rigby... I don't know why I love that song so much but I do... Yellow Submarine... Hello!!!?? *Story time... Yellow Submarine was the first song Ellie ever sang along to in the car.. and Who doesn't like Good Day Sunshine or Got to Get You Into My Life? Excellent Album

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band- Well I am not going to list all of the treasures hiding in that one.. but I will say this... I FUCKING LOVE this ALBUM... There isn't one bad song on it and I can't believe how much I love A Day in the Life and With a Little Help From my Friends...

Magical Mystery Tour-Again way too many good ones. Strawberry Fields Forever and Penny Lane and unless you live under a rock, at some point in your life you have heard All You Need is Love... da da dadada...
The Beatles (The White Album)---"They say you want a Revoloution weeell you know.... We all want ot change the world.." And There's Glass onion and Dear Prudence... then there is Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da and Happiness is a Warm Gun And I Will... *I Will is the lullabye I sang to both my girls when I would nurse them before bed. And Then There's Helter Skelter which apparently drove Charles Manson to go on his little killing spree. *I was dumb and thought Helter Skelter was about Manson... not the other way around.
Abbey Road-I like the whole album and the cover photo is iconic. I have the t-shirt. LOL .But my FAVE off of that album is Come Together
Let It Be-Right there is my all time A number one favorite song ever!! by Anyone!
Past Masters-It's like a greatest hits album
Yellow Submarine- what I like about this album is the Sea Songs: Sea of Time, Sea of holes, Sea of Monsters.. vert artistic...

Now why am I doing this other than my love for the Beatles??? They've been on VH1 Classic all week and tomorrow on VH1 they are Ariring all 6 hours of the Beatles Anthology. Whenever I hear "Free as a Bird" my eyes sting just a little. I hate the fucker that shot John Lennon and I am sad that I wasn't part of the fortunate generation to actually grow up with them and love them while they were whole. Imagine is a John Lennon retrospective that ends with his being shot.. the string section from a Day in the Life is going and as the crescendo builds his glasses are flying through the air covered in Blood and they are spinning and the creschendo builds and the glasses are falling to the ground the creschendo builds and builds then......
duuuuummmmmmmmmmmm
the low chord at the end and the glasses hit the ground and crack. And I see the mourners in 1980 really so sad and singing All You Need is Love and Holding up two fingered peace signs and I just kinda get so sad...

And this is what Rolling Stone has to say about the REMASTERS coming out tomorrow: "The soundtrack for the Beatles’ Love show also gave listeners a brief tease of how fantastic the band’s songs would sound if properly remastered." Ok I have that Soundtrack and I saw the Show in Vegas and Let me tell you the sound is insane. Way beyond the 4 tracking originally done with all of the Beatles Albums. It was just insane the sounds the harmonies... So the dilemma is now... do I spent the money on Albums I already own or do I deave it alone? I KNOW how good Love sounds and I can't imagine I Will or Sexy Sadie sounding that good! It's a seductive thing.
So anyway I have watched every documantary about all of them and every concert thingy and every movie and I am gonna chill Thursday with 6 hours of Anthology. I am gonna record it tomorrow and the I am gonna fast forward through the commercials.
And Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds actually has nothing to do with dropping Acid..

even though it should....

oh yeah and I got a new Tattoo. and I took the kids surfing for their first time on Sunday and I am taking them to Waikiki on Friday (I hope) to hook them up with some beach boys and hopefully get them standing this time.

A huo hou!

I got it goin on..

2009-09-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

Quick Rewind.
Picture it.. Basic Training... 1998...
The time stressful, my age 19.

I am coming back from the communal shower (blech!) wrapped in a towel headed back to my wall locker to get some undies and my PT gear on to go to bed... And There is Airman Ketler talking to someone (I don't remember who) But I pick up her conversation in progress; "...I am not sure about what you're looking at but Gilkes has the best rack in the flight..."
I was young and hadn't really expanded my horizons at that point so I was aghast... Just flammoxed.. To which Ketler is like... "What!! We all shower together and you have great tits"
I will never forget it... I never thought of my boobs as a rack until then but I rolled with it and decided I had a great rack. Apparently Ketler was outspoken and that was a good quality but at the time it threw me completely. I was 19 and about 10 pounds lighter back then and hadn't had any kids... so I definitely had it goin on!

Now Picture it... Commissary....2009
The time.. (well I was grocery shopping) My age; 30
I was approached by a woman who asked me if I got out of the Air Force. I looked up and there's Ketler! The Air Force is Small like that. We caught up for a few minutes and I can tell; without the shittyness of Basic Training making our hair fall out we will probably hit it off. We exchanged Phone numbers and are going to try to get together this weekend.
The best part was when I told her that the first time I passed by her I thought to my self "Self, this chick looks exactly like this chick I knew in Boot Camp" She told me I hadn't changed a bit so she knew me immediately but was scared to approach at first...
I love it!! I haven't changed a bit!!!! I was totally recognizable to a woman who only knew me for 6 weeks in 1998. 1998!!!!
And BTW she says to me as she is leaving the cereal Aisle.. Lillian just in case you are wondering; you still have a great rack!"
I am gonna like this chick!!!
Lil

What a difference a day makes!!

2009-08-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

SO yesterday I was down in the dumps and lonesome. It was just one of those days where I was super alone and feeling alone and in a way wanting to be alone... ie :sans kids.
A few of my friends picked up on the super sad overtones to my Facebook posts.. not to mention my super Bitchy Blog... (See Weekend Rant)
So Jennifer called me and she picked me right up. Something she said that has just kind of stuck with me and I though alot about it. she said... "People expect military wives to be super woman when their husbands go off to war... but deployments fucking suck and there is nothing wrong with just admitting that and having bad days now and again." Sue and Shannon also said some great encouraging stuff to me. It was nice to have people who cared just sayin' "hang in there"
But yes Deployments suck. It's one thing when it's a little one month school in a safe place where truck bombs aren't going off... this is Iraq and apparently it's dangerous... (just in case you didn't get the memo) My husband is in a freaking dangerous place and as much as I want to sympathize with all of the other wives who deal with this stuff... maybe I just feel like right now this is happening to ME. My husband is in Danger (for the 4th time) and I am here all by my self on an Island in the middle of the Pacific. It is a lonely existence. and Facebook friends are great,but the mainland houses all of my support system.
I chose to homeschool the kids and I am still a huge fan of the fact that my kids are educationally sound and both ahead of 85% of the Nation in Reading Spelling Science and Mathematics. My 6 year old is a second grader... That's because I homeschool. But the draw back is I can't pawn my kids off to the system when I need some down time. I can't just pack them up and send them off to school and take a nap or run errands. They are a constant in my life. And as much as I love them and as much as they don't usually get on my nerves; without Mike to bounce off 50% of the parenting responsibility or Mike to just watch the girls so I can get my eyebrows waxed... well the getting on my nerves thing is ever increasing.
On the other hand.. now that I have acknowledged that the next 5 1/2 months are gong to continue to suck, maybe I should do something to change things up. Like I just found out that my girls can Zumba with me at the community center. at least 2 days a week I can go somewhere and cart them along and I can do something good for me. And during Piyo they can read the books staked for miles while I build a little muscle tone. I also found out that Friday nights there is a Keiki (kids) hula class followed by adult hula/ Tihitian dance class. So the kids can hula while I do some triceps and pectoral work then I get to learn hula. This is all free... Why not break the monotony?
Can you imagine me learning to shake my booty like the Tihitians? Tat will be hot. Shakira ain't gonna have nothing on me after 3 years of classes. And there is a class called Drums Alive... hello!!! DRUMS!!! It's a drumming/rhythmic dance class that I can take and the kids can too if they want. Anyone who knows me knows I can beat a drum... and I get to shake it ?! Woot ness!!
So I am going to fill my calendar with healthy alternatives to sitting on my ass all day feeling sad and lonesome. And maybe I will make some new friends. What a difference a day makes! Acknowledge the suck then move the hell on!
Jennifer this one is for you!
Muah!

Weekend Rant

2009-08-29T16:23:00.001-07:00

ok so I an going to piss and moan again....
Tough.. don't read it if you don't want to hear it.
First of all Let me rant about top 40 stations and their white knuckle rotation of bad music.
Ok So I have heard "I've Got a Feeling" 4 times while cleaning the house today. Four times... there are a bunch of songs out right now plus stuff that is still recent but "I've got a feeling" is being over played. Up until today I loved that song.. Now I am over it. And I guess I am getting old... I remember my parents thinking the stuff I listened to back in the day (on the top 40 stations) was dumb... I am now there. The Paparazzi song for instance.... Ok lets just encourage people to stalk.... Lady Ga Ga is craptastic.And Lady Ga Ga is a Drag Queen name BTW.. Not that I don't love me some Drag queens, but it doean't help her case that she isn't really a man. I like Let's dance, but I am not thrilled about this paparazzi thing. Is she stupid? Looks like it. I only like Lets Dance because of the catchy beat but even those lyrics are dumb as hell.
Ok now as I sit here "Waking up in Vegas" just played for like the 5th time. Here's another song I am just over.
And is it me or is a lot of popular music just bad. Sean Kingston... he has NO talent. I have heard him live on TV twice and he's freaking tone deaf. He has so much studio magic help he has pixie dust poofing around him as he walks flying everywhere. But he gets to me a millionaire.. are you seirous? And ok these lyrics right here from Keri Hilson's "Knocks you Down " "I used to be commander and chief of my pimp ship flyin' high..." What the hell? I think every time I hear that line I lose a brain cell.. Pimp ship.... yeah you are dumb..
Ok I think that's it for music that gets on my nerves.... for now
Moving on to people.
Why do people suck so bad? I am not a perfect mother. But I know where my kids are and would kick their butts if I found out they were disrespecting someones property. Recently I had a litter of like 3 kids CLIMBING the Plumeria in my yard and picking the flowers off the tree and putting them in a sack.( BEST PART IS COMING UP!!!!) I told Rain to go out and tell those kids to get out of our tree and to dump the flowers out. I pay over two thousand dollars a month for my corner lot and those trees are mine. I may be on base but while I am here the yard and the house are mine. Ok so here's the best part. Rain goes out tells them blah blah... They don't come down.... Rain comes in and says to me. " They said their mom said it was ok" What the F**K!?!?!
So I went out there and said. "Your mom may have said yes but I say no. And if you mom has a problem with that send her over. Now Out of MY tree and leave MY flowers right there on the ground."
Mom never showed up.... I kinda wish she had. I need a good domestic disturbance..
Now today this little squatty little asshole (we will call him Derek).... this kid is nothing but trouble and will throw any kid under the bus at any time to cover his butt. Any way I don't like him and Rain and Ellie aren't allowed to play with him because he will toss them under the bus too... Well Wahine is losing her mind at the window.. Lo and Behold Derek is just a walking through my yard like he owns the joint just to cut a corner. Thing is my windows are open and he sees my dog losing her mind. So he just stares at the house as he slowly makes his way through my lawn.... 5 minutes later Wahine is losing it AGAIN and I look and there's Derek picking my flowers... menatlly I imagined his chubby butt blowing up like Violet Beauregard and him rolling away on the trade winds... I didn't have the energy to go after him... It won't do any good anyway... he's a little asshole and his parents are assholes and I should get a BB gun and pop him in the butt. I won't post if I do that on grounds it may incriminate me..
I have decided to send my girls on a flower finding mission all over the neighborhood. I have had kids cut through my flower beds,my lawn and IN my trees. I am needing some pretty flowers for my nice clean dining room table. So I will send the children to every yard, tree and flower bed in search of a bouquet. One so big it fills a grocery bag. Derek's house is first. Then off to the yards of all the kids I KNOW have jacked up my hard work. And PLEASE PLEASE come over to my house "parents" and get in my grill about it.. I will light into you with the fires of hell. Then I will dig through my grocery bag, find YOUR your flowers, and throw them in your face...
Oh and "I Got a Feeling" JUST came on again!!! Either someone buy me a new Zune or give me a gun!!!
I need some Chocolate!

Ignorance is Bliss

2009-08-19T23:49:00.000-07:00

What an awful day.
Wednesday is my day off...
Sort of..
On Wednesday I don't teach. There have to be perks to homeschooling for the kiddos too right? So Other then the fencing class and piano lessons I don't teach.
I got up at 8 and was relieved to discover that I actually do know how to set the timer on the coffee maker... only problem is when it went off grinding the beans the dog lost her ever loving mind... But at least I had coffee.
I've been detoxing this week. Kind of eating alot of leafy greens and letting mature take it's course... I feel pretty good.
I got the girls up and gave them bagels and schmere for breakfast. Schmere is Gilkes speak for Cream cheese. Rain and Ellie don't eat cream cheese but they love schmere...
I had my health shake thing -a -ma -jiggy and put some frozen fruit in it to make it yummier. It helped.
then I tried a free sample of GNC's Be wholesome... or something like that. it's a little packet of vitamins for women type folks. And let me tell you what. The pills are fancy. And at 50 bucks a month to actually buy them I think you are paying for the fancy-ness. They're all pearlized on the outside and are all either pastel colors or blinging... no kidding a vitamin that has bling... people will buy anything. I think I will stick to my Centrum... oh and there are like 8 pills to swallow.. who needs breakfast when you are stuffed with water and soft gel coatings..

So once I knew the kids were satiated and watching Lilo and Stitch. I put on my running shoes and went for a run... BTW since I fried my Zune I had to take music from my hard drive and throw it onto this rinky dink MP3 player I have had... It's just a thumb drive with extra buttons... basically. Well as it turns out most of my music files are in WMA format (those bastards!!) so I had like 11 songs that were actually run worthy on the stupid thing. Oh and my WMA's are all DRM protected and I am not having any luck stripping the DRM. I am getting more and more into the fair use movement.
Ok So I am off and running. I ran to Mokolele and through the new housing. I think I saw Amy's Jeep... So I am pretty sure I know where her new pad is... nice digs!!! BTW
Ok so i am off at a good pace and I get all hyper on the Black Eyed Peas "Lets Get it Started" and I start running too fast... My bad.
When the song ended I realized my face was tingling... not a good sign. So before my heart exploded I decided maybe I should power walk the rest of the way.
So after about 30 minutes of "running" I said to myself.. "Self... time to go home. You're hot and stinky and hot.... " then God decided that he would refresh me.
In Hawaii alot of the time the rain consists of this super fine mist. Kind of like at the super market produce section... this accounts for the tons of rainbows... So this carrot got the heavenly water miser and it was so refreshing I decided to let the rain fall on my face and I'll do some lunges. So all the way back down Kopiko Street I lunged... my butt was burning up but the rain was cool. I was so nasty when I got home.
Anyhoo I look at my phone and lo and behold I have a message from a friend to check out the news. So I do.
Now typically when Mike is deployed like this I don't watch the news... My friends let me tell you something... Ignorance IS BLISS!!!
So there's the article from the AP about some asshole insurgents using cars and trucks to blow up Baghdad... Hello people Mike's in Baghdad!!! Then it goes on to say in the green zone... Hello People Mike's in the green zone... then it says the largest blast was at the foreign ministry building... ok Mike's not thee he's like next door... NEXT DOOR!?!?!?! "oh fuck oh shit ok ok check your e-mail...." NOTHING... I called my dad...what will I ever do when someday he too passes away... Who will I call then? I used to call my mom... those days are passed.
Ok so Dad tells me not to panic. Then I had this Macabre thought...
Of course I did. If you know me you know I am a dooms day kind of girl. See Mike called me last night. To tell me he was in place in Baghdad and in the building he's working at...
Now... when a tragedy strikes a family what do people say??... " I just talked to him" "oh shit oh fuck"
ok I I decided to just go on with my day and I asked for a lot of prayers and I took a shower to wash the funk off from the run... Obviously I was in outer space because I forgot to rinse the conditioner from my hair. So after I got tout of the shower for the second time I got the little "ding dong" sound I get when I have new e-mail...
Mike' says he's ok and not to worry. So now I think well good. Only 176 more days and this will all be over.
I am considering becoming addicted to prescription meds or booze or something... I bit off all my friggin nails this morning. I know I am supposed to be strong... typically I am... but I think there are limits to my strength.
for instance I wondered if the commander or whatever comes to the house in a GOV with the chaplain to inform the wife of the loss of their husband... Like in the movies. Will I be able to answer the door or stop the car?
I think I am not capable of handling that kind of information with any decorum. I wondered if I went to Wahiwa today for the afore mentioned piano and fencing, and came back home and rolled onto my street to find a GOV in the driveway if I would just keep on driving. Like would I go hide at Amy's house until the end of time just so I wouldn't get the bad news. I was honestly contemplating that very scenario. Like if you don't know something it's less real. I don't really want to know that the building next door to Mike's was bombed to rubble... This does not fall under the category of staying well informed... Ignorance is bliss.

Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride

2009-08-14T19:25:00.000-07:00

So any Fan of Lilo and Stitch is going to think that this blog is about surfing... It's not.. Just the title I am using to describe the time in my life I call "right now"

It' has been a while since I last made an entry... probably because I wasn't sure if this thing would sound like a big fat pity party... so I am going to do this in a bullet format. That way it stays kinda short and sweet or sad or sweet... I think I will put the Words "up" or "down" to express just where on the ride of my life I was on.

Mike took off for Texas 2 weeks ago Saturday (tomorrow)- Down

But I knew he would be back in a week- Up

He was told there was no cell signal and that he wouldn't be able to call- Down

He didn't bring his charger but it turns out he had a signal the whole time- Up

Could only talk for like 5 minutes a day- Down

We started our 2009-2010 school year ing the schoolhouse- Up

Rain and Ellie are already excelling- Up

The first week went amazingly smooth- Up

Mike home exactly a week later- Up

He was so Jet lagged he slept all the rest of saturday and Most of Sunday- Down

I washed all of his combat school clothes-Down

I went Hiking Manoa to Manoa Falls with Kim-Up

Monday was another School Day and Mike was home by noon to just chill-Up

there was supposed to be a hurricane coming-Down

We went out to Sandies to check out the waves that were supposed to be huge from the storm- Up

Came across a very pregnant Monk Seal on the Beach- Up

Mike's Phone rang, he was ordered to the squadron by the commander- Down

Got to the Squadron and found out Mike ws going to Iraq the next day- Down

Panic Attack- down

Crying- Down

Packing-down

Mike spent the last few hours at home at the legal office and out processing-Down

Said goodbye to my husband for 6 months-Down

Celibacy begins- DOWN

Mike Called me through out the night with status updates (sleep deprived as my husband gets further away- Down

Cleaned house and felf sorry for myself- Down

Went to go see No Doubt with Amy- Up

Almost had to throw down with an UGLY transvestite- ??

Amy kept punching this one bitch that was well just a bitch- Up (that was so cool)

Took the girls out to dinner last night- Up

Wanted a cheeseburger ended up getting suckered into mongolian BBQ- thought this was an UP

Mongolian BBQ was NASTY; grissly beef and the fried rice was uncle Bens...and I paid $16.00 for just my bowl of nastiness- Down

Went to see Transformers had to shield the girls eyes alot-Up

Mike calls from Germany while I am at the movies so I can't talk -feeling like an asshole-Down

Mike hasn't called since-Down

Went to the Base pool got my tan back where it should be- Up

The kids wouldn't let me read my book and just chill-Down

Going to go to Burger King and Eat a whopper and oily onion rings- Up

Onion Rings give me horrendous Gas-Down and bloated.

Going to go See Ice Age 3. We'll see.

Not going to spell check this one...

whatever.

To Everything.... there is a Season...

2009-08-01T11:59:00.000-07:00

Ok so I haven't blogged singe what 2 weeks ago? So here I go.

Mike is leaving this afternoon for Camp Bullis in San Antonio to play scary soldier dude. He'll be shooting people with simunition and getting shot at... he is not excited. he is dreading it.
I am not to upset about this because it is only a one week TDY then I get him back for 9 days before the big 6 month deployment. I'll get depressed then...

Actually this one week is gonna be good for me. i will miss Mike but when he is not here I turn into robo mom... my routines get nailed down and I an very efficient. This is good because I am starting to teach the girls on Monday. School is in!!!
Speaking of School... the girls are sharing several subjects this year. They will be taking the same history, math, science, and religion classes. It will be interesting to see if the co-learning is beneficial or if one carries all the weight of the other.
Science will have to wait though. I was building my lesson plan and discovered that the science curriculum I picked is like on a sixth grade level..Now I know I am braggy about my girls intelligence levels, but I don't think either of them are ready for cytoplasm and phylum mollusca and figuring their way through the creation/evolution debate. And why hasn't anyone written a book about the theory that God made the earth to evolve. Hello???
What is so hard about that. I was looking through the science book and it says that evoloution is a theory that can't be proven... hello really so is the story of creation... that is faith based... not fact.. none of us were there... And we don't know what it is God was thinking.. Things evolve...if God can be jealous and angry and all of this other stuff why can't God look down and say... "you know what.. that amoeba would look alot better if it had feet... MAKE IT SO (Like Picard) and the next generation amoeba has feet... God can't do this? i was pretty sure God can do anything he wants to.
So anyhoo. I had to order new science books for the girls and who knows how long that will take. So the first couple of weeks will be sans science. This makes Rain angry but what can I do... That little freak loves her some science. I think I will check out a few books from the library for her that are age appropriate and scientific til the stuff gets here.
Well that''s really about it.
I am having Amy over tomorrow for ribs and I am officially counting down to No Doubt... 12 days and counting as of today... Aug 1.
boo summer's over....
kisses!

"My baby's all grown up and saving China"

2009-07-22T22:34:00.000-07:00

Here's Ellie on the top.. maybe an hour old...

Rain on the left at just about 1 year of age...

So I can't believe my girls aren't infants anymore... I guess all mothers go through this shock from time to time. Today it was me.

It's just hard to believe sometimes how time flies... It seems the older we get the faster it goes. Which really depresses the hell out of me. Rain is 8 years old... Are you kidding me 8?!?! I had a baby 8 years ago? she was 6 pounds 7 ounces... Teeny tiny...

I was still active duty. Rain went to daycare... C'mon... She spoke at 6months of age and was potty trained at 15 months.... She advanced so fast... She never stopped growing intellectually... She still hasn't.

Ellie is 6 now... my baby is 6..... what the what? Ellie being 6 means that I don't get to blame my thighs rubbing together on being postpartum.. can I ?

Ellie weighed in at 8pounds7ounces...Compared to Rain she was a behemoth!! My pregnancy belly was HUUUUUGGGEEEE!!! She was this super simple easy quiet happy baby. It was really refreshing after dealing with Rain's colicky self.

I can't believe 6 years ago I was living back in the Ville with my parents... My Grandfather, Grandma Sarah and my mom were all still alive... And I was waitressing at Ping On.. what the What? I had no Idea I would be teaching or living in Hawaii... I had no idea so many people I loved would leave me... Ok well maybe the Old people... but I guess it's hard to anticipate everything...

Anyway... Here my girls are now getting so big. We're going to start our school year probably around the time the Hawaii kids go back... This year we're doing basic Biology& World History, We're going to study Biblical time lines form Creation to Present Day, and of course spelling, math, language arts, Rain will still be fencing and Ellie still playing the piano... My babies fence and play the piano...

They know how to work the DVD player, their Nintendo DS's and Ellie actually uses Mike's Facebook account to play farmtown.

Time flies when you're having fun...

What else...

I went to Haunama Bay today.... Had alot of fun... The water was shockingly cold... people don't realize.. this is not the Florida Keys or the Caribbean... we're out in the middle of the pacific...most of the Pacific is deep water.. it can be chilly.

The other day though we took the little gay dog to the beach and the water was like a bath tub... For such an itty bitty island this place has serious climate issues... But that's actually a good thing. I was looking at the botanical gardens here the other day and they have them set up on different parts of the island so that you can see Rain forest plants and desert plants...etc... Pretty darn cool. I love plants. I am the plant whisperer... I guess. That's become a nick name Mike's using to poke fun of me... Here's the deal, when I go running or take my bike out I rescue plants from the garbage... You can't take your plants with you from Hawaii to the mainland, or Europe or wherever folks on Hickam are going, so they end up putting their potted plants in the garbage. And usually by the time I find them the people have decided to stop watering them... I have rescued a huge potted fern thing.. it was dead.. now it LIVES!!!!! And my Aloe plant.. I rescued it too. It was so ratty. I trimmed it up and now IT LIVES!!!!! I rescued a Wandering Jew plant hanging from the side of a garbage can in the full sunlight... it was brown.. I gave it a trim, some water, and hung it from my plumeria tree in the shade... IT LIVES!!!! And it's already blooming... I love plants... I am planting a bunch of Heliconia and Ti this fall...

Whoops off subject...

Saturday We're going to Makaha... hopefully the turtles are glad to see us.

Speaking of fishies... Ellie used the gear today... She wore a life jacket and managed to NOT drown. She would giggle and squeal. every time we got near a large fish and especially in the schools. The Convict fish and the Jacks were in clusters all together and Ellie was just tickled.

She's a trip... Autism or no Autism... she is a trip.. a month ago she wouldn't even put the gear on for the fear of water filling her mask, not to mention the freak out fit she had at Wet N Wild... even at the simplest slides... Now she's pointing out fish to me and riding the Island Racers and asking how big she needs to be before she can ride the Shaka... A TRIP!

Meanwhile Rain is pre-pubescent and full of piss and vinegar... I don't suppose I am shocked... By the time I was Rain's age... never mind... I started stuff early too... But she's my baby... She was just 6 pounds a minute ago.. now she has armpit stink...so, so depressed.

Kim K has invited us to go hiking on Sunday... there's a light house Makapu'u... I am going to check out the view... Stoked!!!

I love that living here affords myself and the entire family opportunities to be physically active. Mike has tried Kite surfing... and then there's the SUP boarding, the kayaking. the hiking....God I love it here... But I just can't believe that my first Summer on the Island is coming to a close...

Ka moa i hânai `ia ka lâ, ua `oi ia i ka moa i hânai `ia i ka malu.

Damn Right!

Isn't that Random...

2009-07-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

Ok so first and foremost..

I need a break from reality..

Secondly. My house was in my opinion dirty.. ever just feel like the house is dirty? Today I did more than the average cleaning up. I did the dusting, I did the windows, I did the sheets I did the Bathrooms, I did the floors..I did the computer desk.

One thing about cleaning house is I generally get really mad... I get mad when I find that one of the girls left popsicle wrappers in the playroom. Or I get mad when I see that Rain has no concept of wiping down the counters... I told her to just take one of the Mr Clean wipey thingies and wipe out the sink and the counters and faucet after their morning hygiene routine... I get in there today and I swear there is a layer of funk on those previously mentioned surfaces and obviously AGAIN I need to yell at Rain...Of course having Rats in the Attic does NOT help me feel like my home is clean.. all I see now is potential rat bait.. the food wrappers, the dishes in the sink, the crumbs that will undoubtedly appear after Ellie gets done eating anything.... ugh... But as of now the house is spotless... and Shiny and it smells like a chemical bath.. a good chemical bath..

I am beginning to wonder what is wrong with the psychiatric profession... why can't colleagues ever agree... So now I have this really great Shrink for Ellie... Not that her other's weren't great but this one I really like. And for once she is listening to my instincts... See I really never thought Autism would be Ellie's diagnosis. And her first 2 doctors said the only thing that even jumped out at them that apparently SCREAMS Autistic is that Ellie didn't talk until she was 17 months old.. but it seemed like as soon as I said that they would stop listening. Thing is she didn't speak til she was 17 months but then when she did there were no pragmatic delays what so ever she went from nothing to the Gettysburg Address... So Ellie goes to see Dr Crowley and she has her one on one time.... When her first 45 minutes are over Dr Crowley is completely overwhelmed with the whirling dervish that has been in the office with her. In other words, my hyper active daughter was a hyper as ever. Dr Crowley asked me if this was normal and I told her YES!!! this has been the problem from the get go. I never saw an Autistic Child I saw a child who CAN'T EVER STOP.... So she puts Ellie on Ritalin... just 2 mg in the morning... huge improvements already... Then she went in 48 hours later to meet the chief of Child psychiatry. This is his deduction....

Ellie is brilliant.... possibly too brilliant, but she has too much going on in her mind... he said she's like a 65 Volkswagen running on racing fuel..... and all of the thoughts all of the burn off comes through in her fast speech and her phyisical activity.... He said in his opinion giving her any label would hurt her rather than help her. The Speech Therapist already said Ellie is a year and a half ahead of the other kids pragmatically. And although Ellie does do certain things characteristic of an Autistic Child... he thinks if anything she is the highest functioning child he has ever encountered... And in his opinion the Autism Diagnosis was rushed to... and if anything she has ADHD.... (DUH)

The biggest reason he told me he didn't think Ellie was Autistic was because of something Ellie said. She said " I like being Autistic, I get away with stuff. If I were to stop being Autistic then I wouldn't be as special and I would have to stop being weird."

He said Autistic people can't quite reason like that and express it so clearly. He said that thought process alone doesn't help the autism theory stand...So Dr Crowley thinks that we're done trying to diagnose Ellie.. and For now as long as the medications are working it shouldn't matter WHAT Ellie is.. which I get. I told Ellie that if she stopped being Autistic she would still be Ellie and that that is the most special thing she could be... I also told her all the weird things she does wouldn't go away just because the Autism label went away. She seemed relieved that she gets to stay weird... LOL

Ok on to the next thing... I am awesome.. I already know that, but I think I am beginning to think myself too awesome... What are your theories on a person friend requesting you who you weren't friends with? Someone did just that, I knew who they were but I know we weren't friends. then I'm all ok sure I'll add them whatever. Then I see that they are a bit tight with my nemesis... ugh... I don't need to collect friends who aren't interested in me and who I KNOW I am not interested in. I mean I feel bad not adding people, but I guess sometimes I really don't care what's going on with them and their updates just make it harder to catch up in the morning with all the news feeds. Hell at this point if every person made just 1 update a day I would have to sift through over 100 updates just to find the ones that are relevant. And On top of that I KNOW I am paranoid about the nemesis... this person probably could care less about me. They probably don't care what is going on with me, Truly I don't care what is going on with them... but whenever I see their name I get a twitch in my eye for all of the bullshit they did to me...And I think they're still out to get me... So do I drop this person off my list? Like I want to say thanks for the friend request but I have no idea why you would want to be my friend when we don't really know each other and will probably never see each other face to face so what's the point.... Then I feel bad. But I might move through my list anyway... then if I drop you and you really wanted to keep updated on what's up with me you can message me and tell me as much. God knows I did that on myspace... I dropped some people who I had never met, and we didn't end up meeting so I dropped them. They messaged me and said they enjoyed reading my quirky pithy blogs, and insights and I re-added them..

I ate a chef salad today for Lunch... GOD I love Salad... I adore Salad.. I especially love it when Salads have meat and egg and cheese.. hence making low calorie rabbit food into yummyness..... The Commissary has this one Salad with black olives, mozzarella,banana peppers,and pepperoni.. I bet it's delish. Only I wouldn't know which dressing to put on it...so I don't buy it...

And yesterday I wanted to make Beef Stew... To which Mike says to me We had beef on Friday... Ok Well I have decided something.. I don't mind eating beef every day... I could make Tacos, and a pot Roast, vegetable soup, hamburgers, and steaks on the grill day after day after day and I would not be saying "oh for some chicken of pork. " I don't really love pork. I hate pork chops and those tenderloins are ok I guess... I like ham and bacon and BBq ribs.. and as far as chicken goes I love it when it's prepeared cuban style or FIRED and Covered in buffalo suace and blue cheese... but like a grilled chicken breast.?.?. boo.. But one can't survive on bbq and fried wings and bacon... but the beef I get is ALWAYS lean and It's so diverse in it's preparation... I just love Beef.. I could never be hindu.... I'm making hamburgers tonight... mmmmm hamburgers...

hmmmm..

2009-07-08T13:43:00.000-07:00

I'm restless. I am wanting to go on an adventure. The only thing I miss about being in the Air Force are the TDY's. I love to spend time alone. Just me and my head. Off to here or there. I didn't have to tell anyone. I didn't have to do anything but go to work and then the evenings were all mine. for 2 weeks at a time or longer I wouldn't have to be wifey or mommy. Just Lil. love my life. I really do, but I crave my independence too. Seeing as how I was married fresh out of High school that was my great act of Independence. But even then I was responsible to Mike and to paying the bills. i never did the growing up on my own making wreckless mistakes and learning from them. I made mistakes like not knowing how to balance a check book and not buying enough food for the week. Then when the kids came along we actually had some money, but now we're having to do things that make them happy. Now of course I live to make them happy, and I love to see their faces when we surprise them or when I cook their favorite foods. But I generally don't get to be selfish. And then there's the deployments.. It's the only time I live on my own, and even thine there are my kiddos. But I find that when the kids are out playing or having a sleep over that I am on my own, and of course I don't enjoy it, because I am worried sick about Mike 24/7.

He got a bit edgy when he read my last blog about the fun I want to have when I come home. But he doesn't understand that I think about him all the time... ALL OF THE TIME. and I worry about him constantly.. CON-STANT-LY...

So for the brief 3 weeks I am at home I intend to have as much fun as I can possibly have. And while I am having that fun I will be worried about him and not actually having any fun at all. It's kinda depressing.

But yeah I like my alone time, just not that way. That's why the TDY's were so much fun. 2 weeks living in Waikiki with nothing to do but wander and shop and dance and watch the sunset. 2 Weeks in Vegas where we hit a new Casino every night. Watching incredible shows and playing slot machines. A new thing to see or do every day and when I was on my way here or there I didn't have to talk to anyone. I could just think about nothing or everything. I would make dumb jokes and I thought that Misty was hilariously negative. My time in Texas was ling and that one made me miss my kids alot, but the weekends were mine and I would do Karaoke on Friday and wandered around Witchita falls on Saturdays..., Sleep in on Sundays and watch Little house on the Prairie marathons... Now I can't even blog without someone'ss hungry, the dishes need doing, someone's thirsty, I normally don't care about stuff like this but the last couple of days I am just restless and feeling stuck in the house.

Ok OMG so I am wanting to get my next ink done here soon. But I am debating on the tramp stamp or the single turtle. I want both but Mike's starting to not like me with ink. But I am me and just like when we were kids if he doesn't like me the way I am tough ninnies. So I need some help with these... The two pics are the next tats but first I need to decide which comes first. The flowery one with the two plumeria then the turtle then the two plumeria I want to do in colors. Rainbow plumeria and a green turtle. Same goes for the bigger honu with the plumeria in the shell.. Green for the turtle and I am thinking purple for the plumeria. I love royal purple and I want more color.... or maybe I'll do a black turtle like the one on my leg then purple for the flowers... any input? Oh and the TS won't say "Island Tat"....

November Rain..

2009-06-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

Ok I am coming home.... in November... and I am looking to have some fun.

My dad is so cool. He knows how repressed I am when I am off living the mommy life in faraway states, so he always sends me out to have a kick ass time whenever I am home.

I am thinking I am going to go to Fishlips on ladies night when I am home and get me dance on.

I know for sure Lauren is holding off on the bachelorette party til I get there... I get to wear a "bridesmaid" tank top. I look hot in tank tops.

Anyhoo...

I know I had better watch myself though. because all the food I am going to take in while I am home will adversely effect my dress size and I am thinking after all this work... not a good thing.

But Living in Hawaii has a serious drawback... the food. Not that I don't love Malasadas, Manapua, Lau Lau, Chicken Long Rice, Kalua Pig, Coconut, and Sushi..... I really do, but there's no home food. The only "mainland" fish to eat is at the Red Lobster. By mainland fish I mean not covered in lilikoi sauce or wasabi or done in some Asian fusion style. So what am I gonna do about that while I am home?

Well first things first, If my dad doesn't have an entire brown paper bag filled to the top with steamed blue swimmer crabs waiting for me when I get to the house he is out of my will...

After that Sonic.... Ocean Water... OMG I miss you!!!!

Kelsey's pepperoni pizza... hello? And a mini greek. I must eat a mini greek.

Any Titusvillians or Orlandonians know if there's a Zaxby's open in your area yet... I must have a wings and things plate with a cherry Fanta, I am having serious Cherry Fanta withdrawals... I might slit my wrists soon...

I will also stop by Valentinos... for me the pizza isn't all that, but I grew up with it. I love the way the restaurant smells when you first walk in, like paper placemats and pizza crust.

Oh and don't forget Dixie Crossroads. I know "tourist trap" but I live in the land of tourist traps, so if I must endure snowbirds in order to get some rock shrimp, then so be it. I would like to eat my weight in broiled Rock Shrimp.

And Lets not forget that I am coming home... CUBAN SANDWICHES FOR LUNCH EVERY FREAKING DAY... you think I am kidding... you are sadly mistaken.

And my ass is sadly going to be wide...

Anyone know a gym in the ville that offers a free months trial membership? Ima gonna need it...

So who's up for a little drink and dance? Or Lunch? Or dinner... I am NOT taking the kids to all of the places I want to go.. what's the fun in that. I want to ENJOY the ville..

oh and then there's Karaoke... I am certain turtle has a new place to croon... I will be there. Turtle!!!... Don't forget the tequila!

And on top of all the gorging I will be doing I am supposed to take the kiddos to the Mouse house...

I love it there though. If anyone has annual passes and wants to come along it would be great. Simply because I haven't ridden Everest yet and the girls are too small... I would love to have someone to hang with them while I am en-que.

ok now is the time to post comments and invite yourself along on my adventures.... and/or dining and/or dancing/singing.

Aloha!

Shrew

2009-06-22T21:09:00.000-07:00

OK I haven't blogged in a little while...
Things are ok...
Kinda weird...
Don't really feel like spilling my guts about it...probably will at some point but not today...
Today I thought I would give my 2 cents about John and Kate.
This is what I think.
I knew years ago that that marriage was in trouble. I remember when it was just a series of documentaries about the pregnancy and having these babies and what not. I knew it as soon as John said that when they found out that 6 babies had implanted that he didn't want to keep the six of them, but Kate convinced him otherwise. Right there I knew that there would someday be a divorce...
But Whether she is a control freak and a shrew and whether he cheated is irrelevant anymore. I think the whole thing is downright sad. I think that for a long time Kate behaved in a dominating role and John just took it. The thing is she wouldn't know that there was a problem because he never expressed an opinion. If he really did cheat it could be worked out. It would be painful and hard but it can be done... but he needed to escape her grasp and I think he is just plain relieved to be out from under her thumb. But I truly believe that Kate has been blindsided by so much of it. She isn't blameless, but I don't think she truly knew just how unhappy John was. Because he never spoke up. I honestly think that one minute things were honky dory in her head and then boom he's out and about trying to escape and allegedly cheating and there is this shit storm from the media and I can tell by watching tonight that he's really going to be glad to be gone from time to time. I think he never wanted to be the father of 8 and I read from his comments something different than from Kate. Kate is being a strong woman in the face of alot of fear and the unknown, but I really believe John wants out and sees this as a new adventure he gets to go on. How many times did he mention that he's young at 32 and has a lot of life ahead of him?...
I think that we all need to just mind our own business...
Yes I know they have a show that puts their business out there, but I think that the media took this thing and ran hard with it and I think they could have told their story in their way had it not been on the cover of the enquirer first.
Leave Brittney Alone!!!!
LOL
I just plain think it's sad when a marriage falls apart. I think that sometimes it's for the best, for my divorced friends out there; try to imagine having to not only explain this to the kids, but also to the whole freaking world... and try being the kids whose family is falling apart and they get to keep the souvenir video and have to share it with all of us too... Isn't there anyone else who thinks the whole thing totally sucks?

What the What?

2009-06-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives"--William Dement

I'm so damaged in the head. I swear.

Last night I had this dream. I twas very weird. I dreamt I went to this place. I've been there before in my dreams, but I don't know what it is. In this dream is Jesse James... The motorcycle guy, who I find generally repulsive...Considering how many women he has impregnated in his life I suppose he has sex appeal for some, but not for me...Anyway. I go to him because in my dream he is a former lover who I miss and I want him to put on my next tattoo..Which for some weird reason is a tree with a happy face... Anyway I don't know what happened. I am waiting for Jesse who's name is "Pretty Baby" in my dream and there's Curtis. Tattooing whales and an ocean on my inner thigh. I am so pissed at him. I didn't want that. WTG Curtis! But then Pretty Baby shows up and I show him the tree I want and he gets to work on my back. When it's over the tat on my thigh is faded and Curtis tells me he tattooed me with disappearing ink. I actually think this is funny... I am ready to leave and I hop on Mike's motorcycle and I realize I need to go to the bathroom. So whilst I sit my ex-boyfriend from Junior High walks past stark raving naked and toweling himself off. He thinks it's funny that the only time he has ever seen me naked is whilst sitting on the toilet. SO I take Mike's bike to my Dad's house and my mom is there asking where I was all night? I told her I was getting another Tattoo. She says "me too!" Hers is this weird picture of herself. She's tiny and going down a water slide. When I go to reveal mine she thinks it's just awful. And she says she doesn't understand it. When I look in the mirror I realize it's not a tree or a turtle, but the design of this changes in latitudes changes in attitudes T-shirt and it's HUGE. It takes up my whole back and it's super masculine. Rick Man shows up to take me surfing at second light and he tells me I can't sit in his car because I would bleed all over his leather.

then I woke up.

What the What?

Then I get me coffee and check Facebook as usual only to find that this horrendous beast of a person is now a "friend" of one of my friends" I wanted to gag. Why is it when you hate someone because of a high school transgression... I mean HATE.. after 13 years I haven't let go. It's still this bitter taste in my mouth. I still wonder if this person were to be bleeding in the street if I would offer aid or spit in her eye. Sad right? And what's really sad was the first thing I wanted to do... which I didn't... was to e-mail my friend and ask why in the hell would you EVER EVER add her as a friend. super childish right??? How does one get over being bullied? This person was the bane of my existence for 3 years. Made me miserable and derived pleasure form it. Her humiliation was public and cruel. But I am a grown ass woman now and I should forgive and forget right? Then why do I still imagine sticking her in an iron maiden and watching her blood flow?

Lil

Hello my name is Lillian and I'm

2009-06-12T18:11:00.000-07:00

Amazing,

Beautiful,

Cunning,

Deep,

Energetic,

Fun,

Grateful,

Hopeless,

Independent,

Joyful,

Kind,

Loving,

Musical,

Nautical,

Open,

Precious,

Queer,

Respectful,

Special,

Tacky,

Unbelievable,

Vocal,

Wacky,

X-Rated,

Young,

Zany.

What a weird exercise in reflection. Actually I was going to blog about my friends.

I have the most amazing friends. They are the most bizarre collection of individuals in the world and I think that if I were to place them all in a room together few of them would have anything in common, besides loving me. I have friends who I can tell anything to,like Lauren, There are many more friends who I can tell things to but I know the advice they'll give me is not what I'm going to want to hear so since I already know what they'll say they are already deeply embedded in my mind and heart. Lauren would be the only one I know to protest outside my prison walls if I were to rob a bank. She'd say: " So what she robbed a bank.... and??" While I know the others love me I think they'd be in too much shock to say anything. Lauren is Loyal to a fault. Her ability to love those she does love is so strong that if they hurt her it is also deep. She could kill a plane full of puppies and I would love her til the day I die.

Then there's Diane. She's insane. That's what I love about her. We could go to a cosplay dressed like a pair of whores and have the bestest time ever.

There's Jamie, My Rock, her compass points true north and she's still a human being... she makes it easy to have a moral discussion and know that she isn't going to only give me the right answer, but know that people aren't always right.

Then there's Jennifer, She's a good person... truly good. I know she's a human, but she is just amazing. the kindest heart in the world. I can't describe her goodness...And again loyal. When Mike and I had our troubles she says to me "Honey he loves you... everything will be OK; unless you need me to tell you he's a piece of shit, because if that's what you need then he's a piece of shit"

My goodness who else... There's Amy... We're still nurturing our new friendship, but if I were to pass judgement that judgement would be. She's too darn nice. And I really like her. I want to see something super awesome happen to her.. her Kids are extremely well behaved, and her personality is tops!!! I look forward to hanging out with her and I feel that I can confide in her.

There's Jennifer Spidell, We hit it off in Tech School and we DO Not see enough of each other, but the Love there is for real and forever...

Same with Amber... exactly the same...

Marianne... we don't talk as much as we used to but she's amazing. Her strength is enviable.

Natalie, Randa and Reema.. I can't leave you out... I know we aren't tight like we used to be but nevertheless how can I forget the 3 people I have known since I was 2... and we are still friends... that counts for something...

Then of course there's Mike... We've been married for 12 1/2 years. When I met him I couldn't stand him. I didn't want anything to do with him. I even tried to set him up with someone I hated because I figured they were perfect for each other. But as a friendship developed from 95 to 96 there was chemistry. And when we started dating it was all over for the other guys because we were inseparable. We laugh and joke and love and we have made people together and we are separated far too often. He's the bestest friend I could ever have. And I hate deployments. But the reunion is just the best.

I love all of you!!!

But Mostly Mike ;)

Lil

The Hitchhikers Guide to Lillian

Bizarro Day!

A quick word of thanks!

Yay ME!!!!!

"The Hare"

"Beep Beep! Beep Beep! Yeah!"

It's like she's trying to talk to me. I know it!

So I have been informed that I have not written a blog that is full of wayyy too much TMI and people are chomping at the bit..

I am just going to over simplify this whole Egypt thing

Screw you stupid blog project! *I drop the f bomb you've been warned*

Why!!!!!!!?????!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?

27

Oops I did it again...25 and 26

24.. my my my I was not looking forward to this one

Day23- A picture of something that means a lot to you.

22- this blog is getting to be annoying...

Benadryl= forgot to blog yesterday... I finally screwed the pooch on this project

19...

18

When I was 17 it was a very good year..

Sweet 16

15 easy peasy..

14 is my favorite number

Unlucky Number 13

Day 12... don't hate... :)

I almost forgot you day 11

On the 10th day of Lillian I bring you more music.

NINE!!!

Day 8 of the Lillian Project

Day 7.. 1 week down

Lillian Day 6

Day 5 of Lil

Lillian Day 4

Lillian Day 3

Lillian Day 2

Day 1 of of Lillian

I wonder if I can change my theme music based on each of these blogs....??

Some life lessons

This is a story of humiliation and hilarity.

I can just see it now...

Ick! Gasp! Chubtastic!

I am getting a t-shirt with a big fat swastiKa on it!

I make Mike uncomfortable.

Political ramblings from me or Thank God I am not actualy paid to write.

some of my favorite News of the Weird

I have bangs yo! or Look at me and my big ole' toe box.

I am late posting this... good thing I don't answer to anyone.

Scary little blog project...

I didn't start out planning to write so much.

hmmm what to do what to do...???

Facebook is stupid or People are stupid... Can't seem to pick a title.

New year... time for an update

I figured I haven't blogged in a while.

My Trip home thus far

Do a shot for each time I say Avocado!

Halloween and Sound Effects or I'm gonna kick Mother Nature's Ass.

Believe it or not I have happy things to say...

colin sent me this and I liked it enough to put it in my blog.

Realizations.....or An Excercise in Copy and Paste.

Random Thoughts I am Having Right Now.

"Sweet freedom whispered in my ear, You're a butterfly. And Butterflies are free to fly. Fly Away"

Look at the big brain on Brad.

Thursday Checklist

my thumbs hurt...

not really interesting...

Thunderbirds are Go!

"Just Wait For Tomorrow.. I guess that's what they all say... Just before they fall apart"

"It was twenty years ago today, Sgt Pepper taught his band to play.."

Triple W

My Week With John, Paul, George, and Ringo

I got it goin on..

What a difference a day makes!!

Weekend Rant

Ignorance is Bliss

Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride

To Everything.... there is a Season...

"My baby's all grown up and saving China"

Isn't that Random...

hmmmm..

November Rain..

Screw you stupid blog project! I drop the f bomb you've been warned